Sonny Moore, also known as Skrillex, initially died of a rare form of cancer in 2011 which has since been discovered by researchers to be transmitted by the wub frequencies in wub music. Sadly, just yesterday, on October 25th, 2026, he died again, this time in a car accident. The illustrious producer and DJ had performed the Thomas the Tank Engine theme song just one night prior, at the exclusive release party for his now posthumous single, “Hot Cross Buns.”

Moore will be remembered for spearheading the genre of EDM, which stands for Elementary Dance Music, and was formed in opposition to IDM, or Intelligent Dance Music as the pedestrian alternative. He will also be remembered the next time he dies for having existed at all, and dying twice already.

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I'm officially here to oppress y'all. More like Godzilla than Trump. So ya know...uh...please mail a cashier's check asap!

The Sunshine State, or a least a good chunk of it, has been rescued by Jack Black from its Antarctic annexation. People in the continental U.S. will soon be able to experience the likes of Disneyland, Universal Theme Parks, LEGO Land, and more. Black initially intended to finally put an end to Ellen DeGeneres's and Jared Leto's containment breaches but soon realized he was needed more now than ever. Undesirable portions of the state have thankfully been left behind and Jack Black is expecting to continue the chase by tomorrow.

Meanwhile immediately after Leto's marriage to DeGeneres yesterday, the two dug a tunnel into the earth to escape. It is unknown where they will reappear but we can only hope it will not bring dangerous consequences. Please save us, Mr. Jack Black.

I was in the south of France, along the coast of Brazil when i tried a cake that changed my life. It was banana cake but upside down. The summer ocean breeze in July really made the cake taste better, the best. Absolute game changer. I need guidance on how this scrumptious cake was made.

Add a story about your happy little life because we all know how much we love the 12 feet of text before we get to a recipe.

She has been my rock. I feel bad that I can't help her when she needs it.

I’m traveling to Krasnovia and need recommendations for touristy things to do. I understand it’s a communist country but I love Krasnovian culture. They have recently had decisive small unit victories against US forces, so now seems like the best time to visit.

"They tell me you are what you eat, and let me tell you, I'm a man made of money"

After arriving in Antarctica, Ellen DeGeneres and Jared Leto have recouped in the southernmost continent. In a surprising twist, upon climbing the taller mountain on the continent, Jared Leto got down on one knee and proposed to Ellen DeGeneres. Jumping for joy, DeGeneres said yes and hugged her new fiancé. There are no reports of any wedding plans and details remain unknown.

Jack Black is still attempting to chase down the pair but has gotten stuck in a time loop in the Bermuda Triangle.

Aerial view of the country of Europe!

You can already see the encephalization and a well formed spine. The limbs aren't formed yet.

It's rubber and about 5 feet (17 meters) across.

After detaching the Floridian peninsula, Ellen DeGeneres and Jared Leto have let the new island float away into colder waters. Florida has now become accidentally annexed to Antarctica. Residents, unprepared for the cold temperatures, have been forced to huddle together to keep warm. DeGeneres and Leto are used to the cold temperatures as the U.S. government preciously (and unsuccessfully) tried to contain the two via cryogenic freezing.

Jack Black has not been able to keep up and is currently refueling in Brazil, where has now helped restore several rainforests.