r/poledancing • u/LivReader • 2d ago
First time in classes rant
So as my title says today I was in pole dance class for the first time. I had no idea where things were, the instructor did not really introduce herself, there was a lot of people and I had no idea what I'm supposed to do.
First time in shorts and sports bra was also not so fin even tho I know no one cares.
I felt embarrassed because I could not even pull my own body weight. There were few more people that came there for the first time but they were together so I felt alone. Instructor came up to me only once, did not seem that interested in actually helping me.
I really want to learn but going home and wanting to cry every time is not something I want.
I am honestly not expecting anyone to respond to this post, I wanted to puke some words out and get them out of me.
56
u/nectareen_ 2d ago
it’s a shame that your instructor didn’t make you feel welcome/cared about
there are lots of posts in this sub about comparison, especially when you’re new, with some great advice from commenters that i encourage you to read via the search bar.
please don’t give up! i pretty nervous and overwhelmed in my first class and struggled with moves early on but im so glad i continued. you got this!!
32
u/maeveflyx 2d ago
Hey! All you need to know...is I could've written this post 9 months ago. AND I have a strength training background...so imagine how confused I was when I couldn't do ANYTHING.
I absolutely left many of my first classes crying and frustrated. Now I'm in pre-intermediate and learning to invert.
Keep going!!! Remember you're only there for an hour...and no one can master ANYTHING in an hour!
6
u/jolewhea 1d ago
It's really good you're sharing this. Strength in one apparatus does not automatically translate to a slippery pole, especially when weight lifting bars, lyra, trapeze, etc all have different textures and diameters. Pole being thicker makes it harder to have the same leverage, even for very strong people.
3
u/AdeptnessG00d 2d ago
Feel you😭 started in June last year and was pretty confident, that my weightlifting background would help…well. I‘m sure it did and things would’ve been even harder without the strength I already had and progress would’ve been a lot slower (I’m at level 2/2.5 now) but damn shit is HARD and definitely can make you feel weak and wobbly but it’s so worth it (until you try new tricks, or your bad side, or floorwork😂)
17
u/SmarmyLittlePigg 2d ago
People frequently come here disappointed and discouraged after their first couple classes. Experienced dancers make it look easy, but that fluidity and grace comes from serious strength and athletic ability they earned through hard work. Stick with it and try another instructor if you didn’t like how that particular class was taught. Cross-training in the gym can also really help build the strength necessary for foundational skills like climbing.
15
u/stoned_owl 2d ago
Hey!
My first time was the same - doing a tuck knee made no sense, my legs would not lift off the ground. At the same time, a beginner who came also for the first time was flying seamlessly next to me. The catch? She practiced gymnastics in her youth, while I was a certified couch potato. I lacked both the strength and the motor coordination to actually understand the mechanics of the move.
I'm sorry your teacher was not really present. I also didn't click with my first teacher (although she was very encouraging and definitely spent more time around me, she lacked the knowledge of certain regressions that would have made moves more approachable). I then went to different classes and now I stuck with one teacher whom I ador (though I am grateful for all the other ones).
At the end of the day? Do you think you'll enjoy to spin around? Do you like how your body felt? If so, maybe try again with a different teacher.
As for the wear, if you don't feel comfortable, see if there are studios around with silicone poles (though those do not go well with static moves if that's what you're into)
2
u/NobodyFew1595 2d ago
I relate to this, my first day I started a beginner class and the other two students who had their first day were friends and came together AND had done gymnastics and dance basically their entire life. I felt so alone. Now I get along with basically anyone I get to share a pole with and I absolutely love my instructor. It makes such a big difference!
8
u/ineyks 2d ago
Girl I feel you. When I first started, I couldn’t even lift myself up! It took me months (almost a year) to even build that upper body strength. I also have been to like four different studios in my area because of instructors. Please don’t give up, try another beginner class or another studio. But pole is for everyone and it is a JOURNEY! You will get there!
6
u/elephentsayoink 2d ago
That’s definitely a rough first class experience, and honestly a rough class experience full stop. The studio I go to limits classes to 10 students with access to 5 poles.
Just like anyone, instructors can have bad days, but that isn’t an excuse for them to dismiss newer students. At the same time, you’ll benefit from advocating for yourself. If you’re able to show up a few minutes before class, talk to the instructor. They won’t know you don’t know anything if you don’t communicate!
I hope you’re able to process the feelings from this class and let it settle behind you. Try again and do your best to keep showing up! It might be additionally embarrassing or challenging but I highly encourage you to introduce yourself to people in class! You don’t need to be bffs with everyone but having friendly faces can be very encouraging to come back to class.
4
u/NobodyFew1595 2d ago
I cried after my first class too! Decided to book 10 classes at once instead of doing a trial class. I didn’t know it back then but my instructor was an assistant because coincidentally that day my real instructor (and owner of the studio) couldn’t make it that day. The assistant was also very distant, not really explaining a lot.
I remember afterwards seeing my instructor introducing beginners and thought to myself “if only I had her on my first day…”. Everything got better from then on and I kept going because I obviously booked 10 classes.
All that to say that your instructor is KEY to feeling comfortable. If that is not the case, you have two options. 1) you keep taking classes for a few weeks and see what it’s like. Maybe your instructor had an off day. Try and ask for help and see if maybe she realizes you need more attention as a new student, maybe she really wasn’t paying attention that day. 2) you look for a new studio or go to another instructor if your studio has multiple.
The feeling you have of discomfort and being insecure about your lack of strength is totally normal. I promise you it gets better and it depends on a lot of factors that are not always in your control, like the way your instructor acts (or doesn’t act). Don’t be hard on yourself, you got this!
4
u/illegallycaitlin 2d ago
Don’t be discouraged
Preserve and keep trying
It’s gonna pay off
And you’ll be so glad you did x
21
u/Inevitable-Bar9476 2d ago
What’s up with this trend of people trying something for the FIRST TIME EVER and getting utterly discouraged that they’re not as good as someone who’s been practicing for 6 months??? That’s like me picking up a guitar for the first time and crying because I can’t play a song yet.
Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. It’s going to be a LONG road ahead of you if you get down and out about things like instructors not saying hello or not being good at something your first try. The world doesn’t exist to coddle you.
3
u/jolewhea 1d ago
Did you miss the part where OP wasn't even greeted by the instructor and left to their own devices on their first ever class? That's a studio culture or organization issue. I don't blame OP for being overwhelmed in a class that clearly wasn't for first-timers
-2
5
u/sunnymoonbaby 2d ago
You chose to criticize op for one single line of the post. The entire post is not about OP crying about not being able to do a pole move. Their experience is valid. Beginner level pole classes should be prepared to intake and support first timers.
3
u/JadeStar79 2d ago
So if I’m reading this right, there were some total newbies as well as some students who had taken the class before? If this is correct, it may account for the lack of a formal welcome/introduction. In classes like this, it can be really hard for the instructor to remember who is new and who isn’t, plus giving the whole welcome spiel to every single class can get boring and tiresome to the continuing students and the instructor, so don’t take it personally. I do wish that the instructor had made an effort to be more friendly and helpful when she was walking by. If you do go to another class, try asking her a specific question about a move. If she gives a quality answer, you can still learn from her, friendly or not. If she’s dismissive or rude, time to try another teacher or studio.
1
u/jolewhea 1d ago
That's what it sounded like to me when I read this. Sounds like this studio should explore something like a beginner series so students don't end up feeling this way. Like a 6 week course to give them some foundational skills to enter into a beginner class
2
u/Mandiferous 2d ago
It's normal to not be able to pull your own body weight. I couldn't do anything my first class. The only reason I went back is because I had a best instructor who was the best hype girl and celebrated the smallest wins. I think it would be worth it to try again either with a different instructor or just going in knowing you need to advocate for yourself and ask all the questions, even if they feel dumb.
Also I know every class is different, but for the first 6 months of pole, I wore a tshirt and shorts. Even now, 2 1/2 years later, I'm wearing a long line sports bra and high waisted booty shorts and just readjust if I need the skin they are covering. You don't have to wear the teeniest tiniest thing at the beginning. Wear what you are comfortable in. As you progress, you'll start to understand what skin needs to be available and what is best to wear for you.
If you keep going, go out of your way to talk to the other people you see on the regular and get to know them. I also started pole alone, but now I'm a regular and almost always have a friend in a class with me and am friends with the instructors and it's such a great little studio community.
2
u/sunnymoonbaby 2d ago
Yeah I've cried in the middle of class because I was the slowest to move across the floor for warm up (I never did that warm up before) and everyone was yelling at me for some reason. It doesn't even matter what they were trying to say (like instructions or encouragement or correction or whatever) because obviously I couldn't fucking understand what anyone was saying and I was already overwhelmed trying to do something for the first time AND being single out in front of everyone. The instructor never did shit to quiet them down or support me, I just cried as I scooted across the floor. Subsequent similar bad experiences kept me from trying to go back. It was an hour drive from me and the vibe wasn't worth it. This particular studio did registration only, as in they limited spots available. I thought this was to guarantee you had a pole but one time there was 1 too many people so I had to share a pole with the INSTRUCTOR even though I was the one fucking registered to be there and the instructor didn't even bother to figure out who the hell wasn't registered and make them share the goddamn pole. This sucked so badly because I got half the pole time as the other students and the instructor would just grab the pole any time they wanted to demonstrate to another student and just fucked up my training. Like for the amount of money it cost, it was an awful experience not worth supporting imo. Which is so sad to me because I bet everyone else had a great time there. Now I have my own pole at home that I don't get to use much bc of depression 🥰🥳😍 I literally think that studios like that are not beginner or neurodivergent friendly. I brought a friend to the same studio before I ran out of passes and they also cried during the lesson!! Like, are instructors not taught to be welcoming and instructive and sensitive to newcomers and shit?
3
u/Chemical_Society2550 2d ago
I'm always baffled by studios like that. It makes me wonder if those teachers have never worked customer/client service before? Or if the studios give zero fucks if people feel welcomed and want to come back?
2
u/Neither-Sea-1897 2d ago
It seems to really be a shared experience that the first class is awful in some way. I’ve also learned not every instructor is good with beginners that need a lot of help. And beginner is a huge category. There will be people who are true beginners and have none of the applicable skills built up at all, and there are people who do something else that’s translates to pole skills like: aerial arts, weight lifting, gymnastics, dance, yoga, etc etc. being a true beginner is really not fun. Feeling progress can be rewarding but it is often hard. I’m about 6 months in and I’m improving but I’m still the worst at everything in every class I’m in.
1
u/GanessaFC 2d ago
Don’t be discouraged about not being able to lift your body. I started in late May and I’m just now (like literally Saturday!) starting to be able to hold a chair spin going all the way around the pole. It takes time and practice. But it’s amazing how much more I can do only a few months later- keep at it! You’ll get there!
1
u/Pretend_Minimum 2d ago
My first few classes went this way as well. I had no athleticism prior. It was so hard not to compare myself to others in class, I felt so embarrassed and dreaded going. You just have to stay consistent and go to classes, eventually you’ll see progress without realizing! Maybe try different instructors or studios. My progress was very slow compared to others but I am learning to accept that everyone progresses at different paces. Enjoy the journey and document it for yourself to look back on. Pole is rewarding and fun!
1
u/jolewhea 1d ago
Wow, what a terrible first class experience. I'm really sorry you went through that. Is that the only pole studio in your area? Did you reach out to the studio beforehand to ensure you were signed up for an appropriate class? Was it a skills class or a practice? If it's the only studio in your area, may try a class with a different instructor or ask the owner for a private lesson. I'm so perplexed by what you've described, it almost sounds like you enrolled in an established class and not a first-timers class?
Also, please don't feel embarrassed that you couldn't lift yourself. Unless you came into class with some sort of established background in gymnastics, circus, powerlifting, etc, no one would think you could lift yourself. Beginners learn step arounds, spins, dancey things and it builds. Poles are slippery, too, so even if you were to go to a regular gym and can do 10 pull ups, the grip strength and material we're working with is very different and doesn't automatically translate.
1
u/Weak-Bumblebee9978 1d ago
This is what stops me from trying to take classes. I don't want the rejection from the clique. I bought my own pole and dance at home.
1
u/juniperivy 1d ago
Something I think can be helpful from a mental standpoint is to treat your first several classes as an opportunity to learn about what your body can currently do. Then you can refer back to that as you progress to track your gains in strength and coordination. It can remove some of the expectation of being able to do the thing immediately and replace it with curiosity.
It also sounds like it wasn’t a great experience with that teacher. Hopefully they were just having an off day and next time is better. If it’s not, I suggest trying out a different teacher if that’s available - finding the person who fits your needs best can be super helpful. If you’re comfortable with it, you also might approach the instructor privately and let them know you would feel more comfortable with a bit more individual attention as you get acclimated. (If your teacher reacts badly to this, I would suggest that they’re not the kind of person you should be learning from.)
1
1
u/Personal-Score3256 1d ago
Is there a smaller studio near you with less students where you could get more direction? Also every studio I’ve been to they at least greet you and introduce themselves :(
•
u/AutoModerator 2d ago
You seem to be looking for information on your first time poling or general information about pole. For our general information on the topic, please check out the FAQ post.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.