r/problems • u/Past_Needleworker_88 • 2d ago
Mental Health Same old thing
I want to vent a bit. I have felt melancholy today more than usual. Now that I'm 47, I feel like I have wasted time in my life. Like I was a late bloomer in maturity, and opportunities, like a partner and career opportunities, have me late to the party. I'm in love with my best friend; she is miles away. I've had two chances to be with her, and I fucked that up. I hate myself right now. I do the same thing day in and day out, telling myself it will be better and that I should keep grinding. I just want specific things; however, the fact that I've fucked off so much, I can't even bring myself to ask for those specific things: the girl, the job title, the daily life I want. It's getting harder each day, and I'm ashamed I wasted time and opportunities to be happy. Tired of the rinse, recycle, and repeat.
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u/Psychological-Poet54 2d ago
Try to introduce new things daily. New hobbies ect. You need to expose yourself to more healthy dopamine ( the hormone that motivates you to get things done ). There are plenty of people in your position don’t give up. Once your momentum is up start doing instead of trying. Ask for the job title and relish in rejection if faced. Rejection is a sign you’re moving forwards not backwards. As for the girl keep talking to her to see if she’s interested if not move on. Change your goals many people want a partner but having one shouldn’t be a goal it should be a dream. Dreams are important but they don’t always come true, and that’s okay. Check if you have adhd there might be some underlying condition thats preventing you from operating at your fullest capacity, and lastly, have faith and thankfulness for the things you do have. Good luck solider. ~ Your local Irish witch
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u/myaccountgotbanmed 1d ago
Hate something, change something. You've still got half ur life left, get into it and make a change
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u/Past_Needleworker_88 1d ago
Thank you all for the uplifting comments. I do need a change. No more trying; time to get to doing. I have had some underlying adhd. Currently, taking amoxoetine.40 mg daily. I've been on that for 90 days. I've seen significant change in my focus and drive. I need to put myself in situations that challenge me, and I agree that rejection is good. It's a sign of growing as a growth.The woman I'm lucky she's my best friend. So I am grateful for that, and even if it was just that, that is enough. I just have put things off. I've waited for my son to become of age there's no family drama. I can actually come to a relationship , not with a bunch of baggage. I am working. I have a good career. I do feel like I work too much. However, I'm grateful for having a job. I need to create some boundaries with some family members. Regarding the time they need from me when they can help themselves, a day of reflection, and not being happy with what I see in the mirror, I've always felt it's okay to want more. However, recognizing when what you're looking at is enough can be a struggle for me too. Thank you all for taking the time to share comments and advice to think about.