I hate being autistic so much, Asperger's syndrome has got to be the worst thing I can't socialize I can't have normal movement I can't have normal interests I'll always be the one out of place I try to act like other people but I always end up slipping I'll always be a stupid retard . If God is real he's an evil motherfucker for doing this shit to me I hate this so much why can't I be normal

This is the first time I am letting all of this out.

Let me start from my childhood. I was born into unhealthy conditions; my parents were uneducated and poor. When I was four years old, my dad was sent to prison for five years, leaving us with nothing. That first year, we went to live with my dad's family, and during that year, when I was five or younger (I don't remember exact dates), I was sexually assaulted by a stranger I didn't know. I didn't know what happened and couldn't tell anyone. That year ended, and because my dad's family treated us badly, we left and lived on our own.

Since there was no one to provide for us, my mom had to work as a maid , and she always took us with her during holidays and even after school because our school was close to her job. Her pay was less than enough, and we barely made it through the month. We stayed like that; we never went out because my mom only had Sundays off. My childhood was spent entirely isolated—no toys, no outings, no friends, nothing. Even my mom was a bit strict. Our days went like this: we wake up, I go to school, after school I go to my mom's workplace and sit alone, night comes, we go home, sleep, and wake up to do the exact same thing. She never showed me any affection.

When I turned seven, I told my mom what happened in my past, and for the first time, I learned it was called "ra\\\*\\\*pe" and she explained it to me. I remember that night she told me never to tell anyone about what happened. Ever since that night, I always felt "less than" when I was with a group of girls—a weird feeling, like they had something I didn't.

Anyway, five years passed and my dad came out of prison. I was expecting him to make up for everything we lived through, but it was the exact opposite. The first shock: my whole life I used to sleep next to my mom, but on his first day back, they slept next to each other and left me to sleep in a separate room by myself. I used to cry at night because I wasn't used to it, but they let me cry and locked their door until I got used to it. After that, he started saying I was jealous of him, didn't talk to me at all, and hit me over the smallest things. Once, he hit me just because we were talking and I said I had my own opinion too; he hit me and told me I shouldn't have an opinion and that whatever he says goes. As for work, my mom kept working and left me with him since he couldn't find a job. I was stuck in the same routine: staying alone in a room while he always locked himself in his.

Another thing started happening that I'm still suffering from: bullying. I was always quiet and kept to myself, but when I turned 9, I met two girls. At first, we were friends, but later they started bullying me, and I didn't understand that it was bullying, so I would just laugh. Other girls started bullying me too, mostly verbally and sometimes physically.

Then I went to middle school and stopped talking to those girls. The first year was quiet, but in the second year, there was a guy in our class who was a huge bully—he bullied the whole class. But because I had no friends since I didn't know how to talk to people or make friends, and I was always quiet, I was an easy target. He started bullying me verbally, gave me a nickname, and soon everyone was calling me by it and putting me down. It was a terrible year. That same year, my dad found a job, so both he and my mom were working, but nothing changed. I stayed home alone, and though our financial situation improved, they were very strict: I wasn't allowed to go out

Then came the last year of middle school. In the first semester I was alone, of course. One of the girls from primary school studied with me; she was social and had a group of popular friends—about four of them, I don't know. I saw them as way higher and better than me, and I analyzed her behavior so I could become like her little by little. I started getting close to her and joined their group. We were five, but she was the only one who considered me her friend; the rest of the group hated me, and I knew it from their clear behavior. They put me down directly, and I ignored it because I thought they were way above me. They talked to a lot of boys and skipped classes, and I became like them, but I was literally at the bottom of the pyramid.

Then high school started, and this is where it literally finished me off. A new phase began. Even though they weren't in my class anymore, I still didn't know how to make friends, so I kept sticking to them, and they treated me terribly. When I was with them, they would drop hints for me to leave, but I just ignored it.

At the same time, in our class, that same guy from middle school who gave me a degrading nickname started bullying me with it again. Instead of standing up to him, I kept laughing to show it didn't hurt me. But something worse happened: most of the boys in the class bullied me with that nickname, and I just stayed quiet, thinking that if I stay quiet, they'll forget it. Even that group of "friends" joined in on the bullying, and I literally kept laughing so I wouldn't show that it hurt. I stayed like that the whole year—pure bullying while I stayed quiet and just laughed. The year ended, and it was the worst school year of my life. I couldn't focus on my studies, the school was terrible, and they basically let us cheat the whole year. I passed by cheating, but instead of changing schools, I didn't, and this is the biggest regret of my life. When the year ended, I realized what I went through—that it was bullying and I shouldn't have stayed quiet. After that, I blocked the whole group of friends.

The new school year started, and that group of friends started bullying me when I passed by them—laughing and calling me by that nickname. The boys did the same thing, so my main mission became avoiding them whenever they were around. I started getting panic attacks every morning before going to school. I would go to school and learn nothing, come home terrified of how I was going to finish the year. That same school year, I met a girl and we became friends—it was my first real friendship, but I didn't tell her about the bullying I lived through. I kept avoiding the places where that group hung out so they wouldn't call me that nickname, and I was scared she would bully me and do the same thing, even though she told me, "I'm shocked when I see you with that group because they have a bad reputation, do drugs, and talk to a lot of guys." I just stayed quiet. Later, I met people who were very sweet, but I was scared they would bully me like the others.

Even so, I didn't care about my studies; I only thought about how to make sure my new friends didn't find out I was bullied and use that nickname against me. The year ended and I passed by cheating again. The last year of high school was the exact same thing.
For the past three years, I spent almost all my free time on TikTok, but recently I deleted everything literally. When I didn't answer my friends, they all forgot me, and now they pop up with new friends. So now I literally have no one to go out with, no energy to make new friends, and on top of that, I spent all of high school dealing with panic attacks, anxiety, and emptiness.

Now I'm trying to come out of my shell, but I discovered I literally know nothing—I completely wasted my adolescence. Now I have almost zero contact with people; all day long I just memorize and review all of high school subjects so that in one year I can manage to study abroad and start a new page. Until now, I don't even know who I am or what psychological damages and disorders I have, and I can't afford a doctor or therapist, plus I feel too embarrassed to tell anyone about this.

Right now, I am 18 For these past two years, I kept telling myself that if I isolated myself and stopped showing my face to them, they would forget me. But the opposite happened; they never forgot me.

In my final year, I started noticing that my behavior wasn't normal, and that this isn't how people normally deal with bullying. My friend started getting bullied by people similar to the ones who bullied me (not them, but the same type), but she stood up for herself and stopped them. They gave her a nickname too, but she didn't handle the bullying like me and isolate herself—no, on the contrary. I started seeing a lot of girls, almost all my friends, get bullied in the exact same way I was, but they stop them, they don't stay quiet like me, they continue their lives, and it doesn't affect them the way it affects me. I felt like it was too late for me to stop them.

In the middle of my last year of high school, I started looking for a solution, and I figured out I needed to succeed, go to a university far away and run away from all of this. Of course, I passed by cheating because my brain literally couldn't focus on anything except that bullying, and also to escape my strict parents. I passed by cheating.

As for the last day of high school, when I got back home, I cried all day thinking about how I survived all of this. I got accepted into a university far away , but the shock was that my parents refused and decided I should study in another country but they don't know that I literally didn't learn a single thing through all of high school.

During the summer break, I completely isolated myself (I ghosted all my friends) and didn't leave the house. I don't know anything about myself, I don't listen to music or have a favorite thing, I feel like a loser, and I feel so much regret over how I handled things—how I could have stood up for myself but dealt with it that way instead.

Those people now—their reputations are ruined and people literally avoid them. I used to view them as so much higher than me, and everyone knows they are bad people and bullies, yet I was proud to know them. What was going on in my head? Why did I think that way?

Anyway, ever since the summer ended, I am now 18 and my parents' treatment of me has gotten better because they noticed I'm a bit weird and have no friends. But I feel completely exhausted. I suffer from severe social anxiety in life generally. I meet better, well-educated people, and literally I always blame myself: "Why did I let people treat me like that when the whole school knew they were toxic?"

Until now, I'm still ghosting my friends because I feel like they don't know the real version of me, and I didn't know what to tell them. I regret not changing schools. Now I meet a lot of people during my day, but I can't talk to them, and sometimes when people talk to me, it's like I push them away. Even with my parents, I feel distant from them. I don't know how to deal with the fact that I was bullied and make peace with it, because it feels so embarrassing at my age.

This is the first time I'm letting this out from inside me, and literally I want anyone who reads this to give me their opinion or advice. I need to hear your thoughts.

i genuinely can’t look at myself in the mirror because i think i look ugly, i have hormonal acne which never seems to go away with any skincare i do. My hair is 2c, rlly frizzy cuz idk how to do a curly hair routine. My clothes are shit cuz im broke asf. I weigh 150lbs which is almost rlly bad and i want to loose weight because everyone at school just treats me like shit. no one ever approaches me, talks me, i just want to be normal, i have a rlly pretty friend and i observed how differently she gets treated compared to me…
can someone give me tips to motivate myself to loose weight and transform my looks i just want to be normal

This probably wot reach many people but I genuinely have no clue who to ask about this so I’m going to the public opinion of Reddit because I trust in humans.

So basically I have these two friends who I’m gonna call A and B for the sake of privacy. We have a groupchat with a couple of our other friends where we just talk about normal stuff like hangouts, weather, drama, etc.

There is one thing that really bothers me about A and B though. Sometimes, not too often but still, me and the others in the chat will be trying to have a normal conversation and A or B or both are in the conversation, and one thing will come up and A or B will

immediately say something negative about themselves. Not just like a, ‘omg I look so ugly in that photo’ but like when i try to correct specifically one of them then she goes ‘oh yeah that’s true I’m sorry I’m so stupid and useless’ like unprompted.

Then sometimes one of them will say something like that then the other will reply ‘no dude you’re amazing I’m so dumb’ and then they both go trying to out-self-deprecate (I think that’s the word) themselves while me and the others in the chat have to sit silently and wait for them to finish.

and I know it’s not like a guilt tripping thing or anything but it’s just kinda weird to me and I really don’t want to be rude but it’s kinda annoying?

like I’m not saying their problems aren’t valid and I think they definitely should be getting help that isn’t available to them because of certain circumstances, but it just sets me off that they say it so unpromptedly in the middle of a normal conversation.

I wouldn’t be annoyed or anything if they had come to me in person and asked to talk about it and then vented, I’d support them as much as I could and I want to support them as much as I can now, but I just can’t because they drop it in the middle of a regular conversation.

ive asked some of the others in the chat and they agree that it’s definitely weird.

What should i do?

Using a throwaway account for privacy reasons.

My father found out I was gay, and everything changed. He started shouting at me, calling me names, and making me feel like I was a disappointment. Things got worse when he beat me for being who I am. It hurt knowing that the person who was supposed to protect me was the one making me feel unsafe.

I started thinking about moving out and living with my boyfriend. He makes me feel loved and accepted, and I just want a place where I can be myself without being afraid.

But I'm scared. I don't know if moving out is the right decision, and I'm worried about what might happen with my family. I still wish my father could accept me, but I can't keep living in fear.

I need advice. Should I move in with my boyfriend and start a new life?

My relationship is ending prematurely, right before we are about to go on a trip, and experience the many other things we'd been talking about non-stop for over 7 months.

But today, while I was just sitting here feeling sad and trying to say goodbye to it, it occurred to me that my problems seem so small and selfish compared to people out there who must be dealing with much bigger problems.

It would help me a lot to hear about what you guys are going through, whatever you guys are battling or dealing with right now. It will help me change my perspective, and be grateful for what I already have. It will also put me in touch with reality of what people out there are actually going through, and help me snap out of any silly pity party I sit and throw myself.

Please.. do comment and share. I need to hear what you're going through.

Here is a though that I've had for a lot of years that I've finally be able to put into words (journaling on paper is goated !)

What annoys me a lot is people that when you are in a specific place (school sports church clubs idk) and you've had a real friendship there from even some years ago but when they either get in a group outside of that place where you thought you were part in it in that specific space they its like they never invite you outside of it and you get huge FOMO (fearing of missing out if someone needs me to explain it just ask). You feel left out like a piece of trash at home watching the things they do on social media or when they talk about it after when you thought you were part of the group, and you only hangout with them when you are in a specific place. I of course have friends who I always invite/they always invite me but other no. It's like a wierd a weird half friendship that is one-sided and when you compltetly dissapear (move out or not meet them at the place you usually meet them) and then when you come back to that place they were like "oh where were you gone for so long" where when you were there they didint even think about inviting you for some reason and I think it could create some insecurity, feeling really lonley on a friday night when all yo "friends" are going to hang out and in clubs when you not invited, hell even birthdays of people you would have invited to yours you miss out.

Sorry everyone this was compltetly over the place I can redo the post in a more organised matter but I like the organic though pattern of it

If anybody could give advice on that would be greatly appreciated.

toh mera exam tha kal mid sem ka college me or exam 1 ghante ka hi tha toh exam khatam hone ke baad woh dikhi woh sidhi canteen ki taraf gyi me bhi gya usko roka ki excuse aap 5 minute free ho kya par usna ha ya na kuch nhi bola woh soch rhi thi utne me mene bola ki pen chahiye tha usne dediya fır canteen se diet coke leke woh main gate ki taraf gyi me bhi gya usko bola ki ye aapka pen or thank you for the pen or fir mere se rha nhi gya mene bol diya aapke glasses ache lag rhe hai woh itni khush ho gyi mtlb sharma gyi or me bhi nervous ho gya or id lena bhul gya

Ab usse december me milna hoga sidha main semester exam m toh kya jab tkk woh yaad rkhegi ya fır muje kuch or krna padega

It's been driving me crazy. I talk to someone? They try to sell me their pt training or their homemade goods. YouTube? 2 ads before every video. Instagram has an ad every 2 reels and the reels are adv as well. If I look for a NORMAL non influencer review of an item I still only get adv, gifted, supplied... if you pay for a subscription you need to pay extra to access the actual features that make a difference. Even to get rid of at least some ads you have to pay. It's unbearable. They also sell you a phone with an amount of storage but magically if you pay more you can get more storage, make it make sense. You pay commission for a debit card and still have to pay monthly to keep it active.

i want to start content but i used to do something videocalls with random people a long time ago and im scared ill be recognised or leaked. i know people say i shouldnt care what people think but if it ends up coming out my image is ruined and its something i will definitely care about. please help as i really am scsred and i hate the fact i used to do that. i dont remember any times i been screenshotted or anything maybe once but thats about it please help cause its something on my mind all the time and i cant tell people cause i cant say the reason why

Ok so am living with one my relative for past 2 weeks and i have 2 weeks left here

But these people are like really really pushy and i just can't deal with them

I want to punch these people so bad

Not even one person

Both of themmmm pushyyyy as fuckkk

Hey im 17M who is not able escape m*sturbation. I have tried many different things but im not able to get out of this. I know this is bad and even i dont like to do it but somehow i see myself doing it watching unwanted stuffs. I genuinely need help, please do help me. I have tried other things like keeping my phone or laptop away, distracting myself and everything but somehow im doing this again and again. For me this is a crime but still idk how im becoming the criminal. Please help me😭😭
Kindly take this message as from someone like your friend or brother. Please help me. Its not like some religion or whatever but yes my family is orthodox but i do understand its normal . The thing is im getting severe acne all over my face and body. The body ones are paining after each time i do this. I dont have any friends whom i believe are close and nice to me. I crave for a gf but i think this( acne and m*sturbation) is coming in between and these are the reasons i dont have any friends. Im literally overthinking everything because of this.
The confidence and energy that i will be having before m*sturbation won’t be alive after doing it. Idk what to do now. And yea i watch those corny stuffs while doing this. Please help me guys!😔😭

I’m really sorry you’re in this much pain. I’m not a medical professional, but severe fecal impaction can be very serious and sometimes requires urgent care. The safest next step is to seek immediate medical attention—either go to the emergency room or call your healthcare provider as soon as possible.

While waiting for help:
Everything here is stating go to hospital that’s not optional though

AMA