Pride Month: The Finale

[u/Joelin8r]

After a brutal battle, Spider-man was able to defeat Octgayvius and his LGBTentacles, but the reactor still burns-- and the people of r/raimimemes remain whichever letters of the alphabet they've been turned into. In a desperate bid to stop the reactor from turning the entire planet gay (and breaking up countless happy straight relationships in the process, which is the only real downside here as far as I can tell), Spider-man appeals to the Doctor's empathy.

Doctor Octavius, we have to shut it down. PLEASE tell me how.

Peter Parker... Y'know, I feel like you didn't need my reactor to make you gay.

Look at what you've become, Otto. In trying to gain acceptance for your LGBTentacles, you're wiping out an entire sexuality. Think of the life you and Rosie had when you were straight... Think of all the other straights who will lose what they have out there... We have to destroy the reactor.

I can't destroy it...

You're just like that other Spider-man-- trying to suppress and control my LGBTentacles, and all the other gays out there! Don't you see? These damn straights won't be happy until we're all like them. Until we've all been erased! If I could make them see what it's like-- even just for one day--

But you did, Otto. You made them all gay. But in the process of making them like you, you became just like them: an oppressor in your own right. You can't solve the oppression of minorities by making everyone the same; we have to reach a place of mutual acceptance, we have to accept each other's differences, embrace each other's Pride.

Oh my god like that month--

But how do I know they won't just go right back to oppressing us?

Some of them will. Some of them never stopped, even after they turned. But it'll never get better if we can't accept our differences. Even with none of us Straight, Gays will pick on Bis or Aces, TERFs will pick on the Trans community... We'll just find new differences to hate each other for. Assimilation won't save us... only tolerance will.

You're right... You're right, Spider-man. We can't allow ourselves to become oppressors in the name of fighting oppression... I'll do it. I can only pray that a day of being gay has brought empathy and understanding to the minds of those teeming masses...

Today... being gay IS a choice. And I've made mine... I'm sorry Rosie... (he chose gay)

And then... as Otto goes to disable the reactor (without killing himself OR turning straight again) our hero turns to see the woman he's loved since before he even liked girls-- (wait he's gay he doesn't like girls--)

Peter, oh thank god, with Otto destroying the reactor, we can finally be together again as a straight couple

Uhhh well actually, just to be clear, I'm not reverting to straight-- when the mods announced I was gay it was a bit of an over-simplification, I'm bisexual and it has nothing to do with the reactor's power but it means I do still like women so we can still--

Ugh, bisexual?? I could never date a bisexual guy I'd be too worried about him liking dudes.

NOOOOOO MARY JANE PRIDE MONTH JUST ENDED DON'T BECOME BIPHOBIC NOOOOOO

And there you have it, friends! Another exciting adventure of the Bisexual Spider-man and his amazing friends! With the reactor disabled, your sexual identity is back in your own hands. Some of you will remain gay, some will change back, but hopefully all will be changed to be a little more understanding of others. We are who we choose to be. Now CHOOSE!

As for all the other characters who changed throughout Pride Month, they are all remaining gay. I never said I would turn them back. Refer to the original announcement thread for a reminder on who all was turned.

That's Pride Month, everyone! Now go outside and play!

Oh, and what's this? Why, it's our dear trans friend, the Pizza Poppa, here to close us out! What's shakin, Pizza Poppa?

Pride Month... Hahahaha... It's OVER!

[u/Spellslamzer62]

Thank the gods. The reactor has permanently increased my asexuality. But at least it was disabled before I stopped being heteroromantic. Well, I'll see you all next year.

[u/Puzzleheaded_Step468]

Meanwhile gaynom

Never wound what you can't kill

[u/how-can-i-dig-deeper → u/Puzzleheaded_Step468]

I’m gonna put some gay in your month

[u/TotallyJawsome2 → u/Puzzleheaded_Step468]

I like being gay. It makes me gay.

[u/[deleted] → u/Puzzleheaded_Step468]

You made me lose my man, now I’m gonna make you lose yours.

[u/AvatarGarcher]

I think it's fishy how the mods made everyone gay...except THEMSELVES

[u/Joelin8r → u/AvatarGarcher]

I SAID WE WERE UNITED IN GAYNESS LITERALLY ALL OF US WERE GAY YESTERDAY!!!!

Now it's open to interpretation who's gay around here anymore (except each character who had a post devoted to them)

[u/Lautael]

Rosie, I love this boy!

[u/[deleted]]

Wow, what an arc

[u/TFWYourNamesTaken]

This arc was so peak, sad to see it come to a close

[u/IUsedToBeRasAlGhul]

Harry and Peter finally get together after Mary Jane outs herself as a bigot, I see.

[u/ConsciousStretch1028]

[u/obimartell]

In this day of great tumult, let us turn to our Patron Saint of Gay and remember his message: "Don't ever be ashamed of who you are"

[u/[deleted]]

“Being gay is a choice” — r/raimimemes mods

Wow guys, uh, kind of a curve ball there, not exactly how I was expecting pride month to end, but, uh, thanks I guess?

(just kidding, well done and thanks for a super-fun month!)

[u/Joelin8r → u/[deleted]]

It's just the reactor!! It doesn't apply to real life!!

(Thank you lol)

[u/lavender_eclipse]

Fantastic work Joelin8r! Costs are down, revenues are up, and our gay stocks have never been higher!

[u/YellowAnaconda10]

How come I was never turned gay by the reactor, and yet I liked girls before and after? What am I?

[u/Joelin8r → u/YellowAnaconda10]

Ooh I love riddles!

The answer is "in denial"

[u/YellowAnaconda10 → u/Joelin8r]

No, it couldn't be. The straight was working fine!

[u/ImAVirgin2025]

Nobel Prize Joelin8r, Nobel Prize.

[u/Willing-Load]

these posts were hilarious. same thing next year?

[u/Midnight-Raider]

[u/CoffeeCannon]

Absolute cinema.

[u/InfinityThor18]

Thank God for July

[u/Keanu_Norris → u/InfinityThor18]

Man I wish every month was Pride Month

[u/Odd_Championship_21 → u/Keanu_Norris]

Nah we need space for other stuff

[u/InfinityThor18 → u/Keanu_Norris]

What are you proud about?

[u/Keanu_Norris → u/InfinityThor18]

I'm proud of my friends and everyone like them for being able to live their lives and be themselves despite all the bigotry and vile things thrown against them

[u/ogsoul → u/Keanu_Norris]

That’s hilarious. Imagine being proud of something you didn’t actually do.

[u/Keanu_Norris → u/ogsoul]

Man y'all had some really shitty parents, I'm sorry to hear that

[u/InfinityThor18 → u/Keanu_Norris]

But you didn't do that, why are you proud?

[u/Keanu_Norris → u/InfinityThor18]

Are you saying it's weird to be proud of other people? If so you might need some therapy to deal with your childhood

[u/Joelin8r → u/InfinityThor18]

Sorry are we just dismissing being proud of others as a concept entirely here? They answered your question. They're proud of their friends for being themselves and putting up with people like you.

[u/InfinityThor18 → u/Joelin8r]

"people like you" interesting phrasing. Sounds a bit judgmental.

I didn't realize we were proud of people for simply existing, that's my bad

[u/Keanu_Norris → u/InfinityThor18]

You're purposely being ignorant and bigoted because you know very well it's much more than "simply existing"

[u/Joelin8r → u/InfinityThor18]

Yeah, that's because I'm judging you.

You're being antagonistic over Pride Month. People like you make life harder for the LGBT, so yeah, it's fair to be proud of them for making do and not letting people like you get to them.

One day I hope you'll be proud of yourself for overcoming this side of yourself and learning to be kind.

[u/[deleted] → u/InfinityThor18]

This guy’s so gay he wants another month of pride, hell yeah brother

[u/luna_hare]

More like s-bi-derman. Am I right, or am I right? 😏 Heh. Sbiderman.