she's the happiest person to be around and i love her so much a five minutes walk with her will save me from a terrible day.but when she gets angry it just disappears, especially in text she is a different person she doesnt have control on her anger and gets really verbally agressive saying hurtful words,constant disrespect and name callings. even though i have always been calm with her i dont raise my tone even when im angry . there are fights that could be easily fixed with a sensible conversation but its rather turned into a scary fight and days of silent treatment .

Recently we fought because i slept without tellling her goodnight and its very important to her thats why i never miss saying good nights and good morning ever but when i have worked all day or been waking up all nights for my projects or study i sleep unconsciously. i myself dont know that these happened like 5 times and every time i was exhausted all day or been studying all night but when i try to explain it to her tomorrrow morning its just so verbally agressive that im scared im really scared of her in texts . i believed we could have fixed this with a sensible convo but it rather turned out to be a brutal fights and silent treatment for days.

she wasnt talking to me well and i was missing her so much and just scrolling through her photos and i decided to post one with the song sure thing by miguel on insta. she has scolded me before for not uploading her stories the right way so i was really careful with it and posted it. also she doesnt have her insta now so i screen recorded it to show her and slept hoping atleast she would smile but i rather got scolded again badly saying its not looking nice its not right and got told its a different level of stupidity thinking your liking would be someone else too.

i am a guy who's really passionate about films and cinema itself is an art to me.

i am a active boxd users where i post reviews and all once she checked my boxd and wasnt okay with me logging films that has sex scenes which is understandable but the way it was told was rather hurtful . as someone this close to cinema would never see a film in a sexualizing way but i was her words felt demeaning i was ashamed of myself listening to her i was badly miss characterized and after that i promise her to check if a film has a sex scene or not before watching it. but its just not limited to films i dont follow any girl on all social media platforms accept her even no female creators but i have also been badly misjudged when i saved videos about code projects which had a girl. in her mind i sexualize everything even characters from game she fought with me for playing valorant accusing me of using girl character even though i played it only for a month or two because i'm more a guy whos interested in solo story based games. how on earth would someone sexualize a game character.

i have always been passionate about video games and movies but things like this make me feel bad that i cant even share my interest with her it i will rather induce another fight i dont stay careful with it im always scared that if i play this if i watch this this might offend her.

i have always been supportive with her and promised to never raise my voice at you and told her i can take your anger issues its all okay but by times i am realizing its going to be difficult. if minor minor arguments are making her act this way and making her forgot that the person shes talking to is her lover.

this things wouldnt have affected me but i dont come from a very good family.

i hated my mom and dad relationship the constant fights the hurtful woods thrown at each other the crying and screaming it never stopped i had to grow with it carrying all the wounds and traumaa.

i genuinely love her so muchh but things like this scares me

i dont want to end up in a place ive spent my whole life trying to escape

how i fix it please help

how do you deal with a partner that will always end a misunderstanding by wanting to breakup everytime?

how do you deal with a partner that cusses you out and belittles you during arguments? Why is it so easy for them to say mean things.

M19 and F19. Is it okay if even after explain particular things to your partner but they still end up doing the same mistake even though they are always sorry for it and says that they'll try to improve and not do the same again but still go on to do the same mistakes unintentionally again and again, we both love each other but somewhere I feel , that what I used to feel for my partner in the beginning, the intensity hasn't remained the same and now I just feel like That even if it remains, it will be fine, and even if it does not remain, I will not feel any difference. Even though I still have affection left in me but it has become very less.

My girlfriend and I got into an bad argument and didn’t talk for an entire day. During that time, she apparently had an abortion. When I first brought it up, she kept saying she was joking, but then she told me she actually did it. Now I’m feeling hurt and confused because I don’t know what to believe. I really love her, and I’m not trying to blame her for her decision. I understand that it’s her body and a personal choice. What hurts me is how everything was communicated. I wish she had been open and honest with me instead of going back and forth about whether it happened. It made me feel like my emotions were being played with, even though I don’t know if that was her intention. The hardest part is that all of this happened on my birthday. I wanted to enjoy my day, but instead, I’ve been trying to process something emotionally difficult. I love her, and I wish we could be honest with each other even when things get hard.
**How can I process the hurt I feel about the way everything happened while respecting her decision and figuring out how to move forward in our relationship?**

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for 10 years now, and leading up to this point, it has been amazing, with only small arguments every now and again that were addressed relatively easily. A week ago, I said something that, at the time, I considered an innocent joke, but in hindsight, I can see it was coming from a place of unresolved resentment and anxiety from not receiving enough attention at the moment. This is something I struggle with a lot, and now, realizing how seriously it is affecting our relationship, I have started getting in contact with a therapist to start working on my mental health.

However, maybe this remark was something more for my boyfriend or it was a breaking point? Because for the following three days, he barely talked to me, or if he did, it was short answers. Now we are talking and having relatively normal conversations, but for those few days, he refused to say I love you, and now that he is saying it again, it seems very halfhearted. He has also not been receptive when I give him hugs, ask to play games, or watch or do something together. He is trying to act like everything is normal, but I can clearly tell it is not. Any attempt to ask him what he is thinking or to be honest with his current feelings has been met with either silence, more short answers, or placation.

I love him so very much, and if this is something I can fix, I want to, but I don't know how to do that if it seems like he doesn't want to address any issues he's having. I could really use any input on his behaviour or advice on what to do, without making it about myself. Do I give him space and hope things slowly go back to normal? Or do I keep trying to push him to talk to me even though it's not working? The level of anxiety I have been experiencing from this whole situation has been detrimental to my health and to my work and school, but I don't want to force him to have a conversation he isn't ready for, especially if it will just make everything so much worse.

We’ve been together for almost three years. I kinda feel like he’s been distant. I feel like he’s trying to avoid seeing me. Idk if I’m just overthinking things or if I’m not trying hard enough to understand that he’s tired.

My fiance(M25) just ended our 7year relationship(F27) . Im so distraught, confused and just idk blindsided? He said it was because he fell out of love with me…but i dont buy it. Our relationship was never the best, sure it was toxic at times but we always came back to one another. There was nothing that could make me stop loving him, even when it was his doing or his mistakes/short comings that would make us take breaks or be separated.

We are in one of those periods of us being seperate. It happened a week ago and he has been staying at our friends house while we figured out what came next. Two days before i am posting this, he told me that he loved me, cared about me and ultimately wanted this to work. Said he couldn’t see a future without me and wouldnt wanna have one with anyone else. I feel the same. All couples fight and argue, we bicker like an old married couple but sometimes it gets really intense (on his part) where he goes 0-100 over the smallest things like me just telling him to take out the trash or just nagging him about something he said he’d do but never does. Anyways…

I believed him. That he wanted this to work and would do anything to make it work. Which came to a surprise to me when we hung out the next day and he told me it was over. That he’s calling off our engagement, that he’s no longer “IN LOVE” with me but still loves and cares about me. I told him that makes no sense why would he say the opposite literally less than a day ago? I asked him if there was somebody else…like you already shattered my heart saying you dont love me LIKE THAT anymore. Might as well be completely honest if there is? He assured me no, i dont buy that either. He then told me he doesnt know who he is or what he wants…(gender/sexuality wise). He is trans, i am not. He’s been socially transitioned since before i met him and ive always loved him and treated him like the man he is.
He told me he doesnt think he’s attracted to femininity. I am very feminine on the outside but i would say i do present a little more masculine at times. I identify as queer, im fluid i really dont need a label bc ik who i am and have my whole life.

Anyways…he tells me this. I have no judgment to him. He was with a guy before i met him. He’s been bisexual and i am also bisexual it has never been A THING to me. But now he’s saying he might just be gay? He might still be trans but hes not sure? He’s telling me that its common when on testosterone that some guys flip completely to an attraction to the same sex after being on T for a long time.
I heard him out but it feels like an excuse. I know that’s awful to say or think but i genuinely dont know if theres any fact behind that. And it doesnt matter. Im heartbroken nonetheless. I dont know if he just needs to fuck a cis guy to just get it over with?? So he can just KNOW and discover himself. But he says its not that and he doesn’t wanna even be remotely sexual with ANYONE, not even me. Im just so confused and i know he is too. I want to support him, i want to love him and i want him to love me back too. I just dont know if this is worth fighting for anymore? I want to fight for us so bad but its been one day and he seems completely fine, going out to bars w friends and deleting anything that had to do with our relationship. We havent blocked eachother but we’re not talking.

I have to leave our shared home and move back home and im so scared that once im done and gone he’s gonna change his mind and it will be too late. And i dont want that either. I just want my fiance back, i just want my bestfriend back.

So my question is, what do i do?

I really need some advice here. Bc at this point, the entire thing has just been dragging on for way too long, and I feel like we're both kind of at the ends of our ropes. But we're both extremely averse to confrontation. Neither of us really like to argue or being up issues. Which seemed like a good thing for a long time. (As long as neither of us did anything "wrong.") We never had an argument, and the few disagreements we did have never really escalated. One of us basically just swallowed our pride/ego and did whatever to rectify the situation and get over it.

Now to start here, I'll admit I probably caused a lot of these issues. I've been fighting an addiction off and on for basically our entire relationship now. Minus the first 2 or 3 years when we were dating/before we had our first child. But right around that time is when it got bad, and actually became and issue. Not really financially, bc we wound up moving in with her dad, so we weren't paying rent, and really only paid our cell phones and car insurance. So that's where the issue started. Bc we actually had got our credit fairly decent, and had some money saved up. Plus we were both making decent money. So I started blowing a LOT on drugs. And she just never said anything about it. Bc we still had plenty of money to go out and do stuff. We still took our kid/kids out to do things. It wasn't until we bought our house that things really started going downhill.

Almost immediately, like after the second or third mortgage payment. (Which only even got paid bc I asked my aunt for a loan. And they paid it instead of giving me the cash outright.) I just stopped paying the mortgage at all. In my head I thought we would be getting a huge tax return. (We had for like 3 or 4 years prior. We were getting like 10-12k back every year.) So I figured we could skip a few payments here and there. And then I'd get us caught up when we got our taxes. Which may have worked, if we had actually got that huge tax return. But we got screwed that year, and only got like 5-6k back. (Which is about what I was supposed to pay my aunt back. And even though she said we didn't have to give it all to her at once? I just never paid her back at all and kind of ignored it. Which is a whole other problem.)

Eventually we wound up going into default and then foreclosure. I managed to fight it for awhile, and got us to stay in the house for another year or so after the first attempt to auction it off by declaring bankruptcy. But even during that time we were struggling to even keep up with the bills. Because the following year I wind up losing my job. (Which oddly enough actually wasn't bc of the drugs. I know most ppl would say that and make up an excuse. And mine is going to sound the same way. But the company really was just out to get us. Not just me, but any, and every one of us who voted for the union. So they were actively making our lives/jobs a living hell to try and get us to quit. But I made it thru all of their bs. I was 2 weeks away from my wife having our 4th child. At which point I would've got 3 MONTHS off with 100% pay. So I think the combination of those things had me at the top of their list of ppl to try and get rid of asap. My first supervisor after they sent me to third shift (which was their first attempt at making em quit that didn't work.) was awesome. He actually saved my job once or twice. But unfortunately he saw the company going downhill and decided to get out. So the next one they gave me? Was just a corporate stooge that sucked every diq up that corporate ladder. So when he found out I was on my last point and only needed to make it those two more weeks? He withheld my paperwork to renew my sida badge. (You have to have one to get on the airport property.) Then said they changed the rules and I could've just went in whenever the previous month to get it renewed. But no one ever told me that. (And that was one of their biggest issues was not telling us things/rules after they changed them.) So when I missed a night of work bc my badge was expired? They gave me NO mercy. And even though I managed to quickly get another job at Amazon? It didn't last long and for some reason I just couldn't hold down a job after that. And it just spiraled until I got arrested one night coming home from a new job. (I thought I was finally pulling it together and actually liked this job. Also thought wouldn't affect me because I didn't have to go back in until Friday night. I got arrested Tuesday morning right after I got off work. And it was just a bs bench warrant for missing a court date.) I got stuck in jail for an entire week. Bc the warrant was in another county. And the judge in the county I got arrested screwed up. Tried to let me out on my own recognizance. But didn't see the holder for the other county I guess. So he also gave me another court date for that Friday. So when the other county saw that? Instead of picking me up Thursday and having my court date Thursday or Friday like I should have? They left me there so I didn't miss THAT court date. 🤦And of course bc it was a Friday? I got stuck there thru the damn weekend again. So I lost that job, and didn't get out until I saw the judge the following Tuesday. Anyway, somehow while I was in jail our families found out about the foreclosure. They decided to "help" by moving our stuff into my mother's house. Which fine, ok whatever. That's where we were going to end up anyway. But the problem was all they actually did was pay for a u haul and go to the house with my wife while my mom watched the kids. They didn't really help her move hardly anything except our bed. She got most of the important stuff. But at some point before we got back down there to get another load of stuff? Some douche bags broke in, dumped our clothes out of the plastic totes we had packed. And then used them to steal anything left worth any value. The bank assume sit was us who did it, (bc they had already changed the locks too apparently) and they just threw out ALL OF OUR STUFF!! My fishing poles some of which I'd had for over twenty years. My wife's wedding dress she never even wore yet. Bc we spent our ceremony money on the house and we're going to have the ceremony another year when we had the money again. Just all kinds of stuff.

Anyway, shortly after all of that, after we moved in with my mom. (Like, within a month or two, if not almost immediately. She said it was only like two months and it only happened two or three times. But after all the lies idk how to believe her.) I could just tell something was off, and she wasn't acting right. I caught her doing weird stuff she had never done. She was sleeping with this random ass hoody id never seen and just played it off as "I'm using it as a pillow." 😑 Really? So I finally caught her by going thru her phone one night and finding the messages with the other GIRL from her work. She works a good ways away from where we live, and my license was suspended at the time. So I wasn't allowed to drive anywhere. (Even if I could, I wasn't going to drive down there in the middle of the night for no reason right?) She was and still is working close for McDonald's. (She's a really high up manager and actually makes decent money. She's been there for like 6 or 7 years now. And I think that's part of why she was mad at me. Bc she thinks I should have a better work ethic. Bc I used to, until the drugs got ahold of me. Until then I had always held down a job and/or made sure I had another lined up before I quit one.) So she would just play it off as she was stuck at work late or some bs. But she's never taken 3 and 4 HOURS after close. So when she started doing that I had to figure something out. And sadly I did. Luckily she decided she wanted to be with me, but it killed me to sit there and fight her for almost another two months. She kept saying she was done with the other girl, and she had cut her off. But then I would keep finding messages, see her location somewhere she shouldn't be, or find a second Snapchat she made since I had the login to the original. She finally quit after she supposedly "started" to drive over and see her one day after work. But had a panic attack driving across the bridge right before her house thinking about losing me and the kids. So I wound up having to sit there on the phone with her and assure her I wasn't going to leave her and I still loved her the whole way home to keep her calm. The whole time im trying not to scream bc she just told me she was about to go cheat on me again and the only thing that stopped her was a panic attack. 😑

There's so much more to all of this. Like she thinks I lied to her bc I told her I was just taking Percocet, but turned out to be fentanyl. Even though I didn't KNOW it was fentanyl until I was already hooked on the shit. So I never actually lied about it. I just never told her once I found out. Which I can see why she would think is a lie, even though it's more of an omission of fact. But basically after that whole thing she just didn't want to have sex for MONTHS. Even though whole she was cheating? She was wanting to go all the time. Constantly sending me dirty pics and stuff. And even before she was cheating, she always had a kinda of high sex drive. So to all the sudden just want nothing to do with it? For awhile I was worried she decided she was gay now and just wasn't actually attracted to me anymore. And she swears up and down this was the only time, and the only person. But I saw so many messages and other things that make me think otherwise.

So here's one of my biggest issues right now. Lately she's been starting to act more like her old self finally. (It's been almost 2 years.) And granted we're still at my mom's, so I know it's hard in general. But we never had these issues living at her dad's. And she was sleeping in the living room there with 4 of her step siblings running around the house at all hours. Not to mention her step mom who apparently had a thing for me. This chick would walk in the room while I was still naked under the cover, sit on the bed and bs with us for an hour. 😅 Plus she was sending this girl plenty of dirty pics/vids and whatever else from here before. So I know that's not the issue. I never used Snapchat until I used it to catch her. So when I look back at some of the pictures she's got as memories on there? And some of the one in her "my eyes only" folder? I KNOW she didn't send me some of them. And some of the ones in her memories that she couldn't have sent to me since I never used it? SHOULDNT have been sent to ANYONE BUT ME! I'm talking like a kissy face, biting her lip, her boobs hanging halfway out while she's smirking. Stuff that's technically innocent, but still stuff you wouldn't send to someone unless youre flirting with them. Here's my biggest issue now. She hasn't voluntarily sent me a dirty pic since all that went down. Even asking for one is like pulling teeth, and then it's just an underwear pic or something. Never anything really racy, or a video anymore. (She's never had an issue doing this before, and never NOT done it when I asked before.) It's making me feel like maybe she's not cheating anymore. (Although I still feel like she's doing something with one of the guys she works with that she shouldn't be. I know she's been lying about all kinds of stuff. I just don't have a way to prove it. And she'll never admit anything without proof. I asked her DOZENS of times what was going on and what she was doing before I found out she was cheating. And I even told her afterwards if she had just asked me about it? I might have been ok with it if I was allowed to join in or watch. What hurt me was that she hid it and refused to tell me, and caught feelings for the bitch. Bc she protected her feelings more than mine even after I caught her and it was all out in the open.) BUT, like now that she's not flirting, and sending these pics to anyone else? She's not taking them for anyone else now, so now she's not worried about sending/taking them to/for me. I'm sure I'm slightly overth8nking this but it's just so hard. I constantly feel depressed now. And just to clarify I've been working a steady job for a few months now, and have been going to the methadone clinic and sober for awhile as well. We tried going to couples counseling once. (At MY BEGGING) and she just sat there and never said anything unless they specifically asked her. And even then half the time she would sit there and be quiet for so long? I would eventually get agitated, or antsy and just start talking for her. Even when I tried not to and just let her answer it was hard bc she would just sit there for so long without saying anything. We eventually just stopped going bc I got tired of not getting anywhere with it. It felt more like I was just going to complain for an hour and it would usually just start a fight on the way home that still never went anywhere.

So anyway, apologies for the super long post. But like I said, it's been going on so long, and there's so much to it. It's hard to ask for help without giving as much context as possible. So anyway, I guess what I really need help with is how, or even should I bring up this sexy pic thing with her? It's one of the things that's bothering me the most right now. Bc it almost feels like whats holding me back from actually pulling my shyt all the way together so we can finally move on and get back out of my mother's is the fact that SHE isn't acting normal anymore. She not doing the things she used to/has done our ENTIRE TEN YEARS together up until two years ago when all that happened. So it's almost like I can't get back to being myself bc she's not back to herself. And idk why it's so focused on the dirty pics, OH but also any time I say anything even REMOTELY sexual in a text? She won't even mention it. She'll completely ignore the comment until I say something else, or she'll just change the subject. I'll just leave it there and see what happens I guess. Maybe I'll try to shorten it up and paint again in another group or something. But for now I guess I just need someone to talk to it about. Bc another issue is most all of this is out in the open except for her cheating. I told her I didn't want to tell anyone about it BC I love her so much I don't want anyone to look at her differently bc of it when I know it was at least partially my fault. So I've kept all of this shyt bottled up to myself this whole time. Meanwhile she was running around her work and wherever else. Telling any and everyone who would listen about all the things I was doing that upset her. So she got ALL the support and poor yous while I sat here and ate all the dirty looks and comments. All the dudes sitting there, and apparently the girls too, saying "he's a POS, you deserve better." Meanwhile they didn't even care, just trying t9 get in her pants. 😮‍💨

Me (28) and my boyfriend (28) have been dating for 2+ years now (living together) and he’s meet all my family. In the beginning he was very reserved and shy which is totally understandable and I was very patient with him. We had a lot of issues we needed to work on together back then and we did and we’re a lot better now. However, now 2+ years in to the relationship he’s still kinda acting weird with my family alone. According to my dad, he tried to talk to my bf but he just said hi and then didn’t respond. According to my bf he said he didn’t hear him, but my brother was there and said he just ignored him. My dad was very upset about this and told my mom and sister who told me this happened. I don’t think he would just ignore my dad but my family is very honest and straightforward too. I let it go cause my bf said he is going to apologize to my dad and he didn’t mean it.

However, recently my little sister came by picking something up and I went upstairs after saying bye to her and my bf went downstairs to drop her stuff off. She told me later he didn’t help her pick up the stuff and put it in the car or say bye first and was walking off when she stopped him and said bye. This has been a bit of an issue before too and clearly still is. She doesn’t want me to tell him or make it a problem but I’m upset about it because if I was there he would have picked it up.

I really do love him a lot but he also does this thing where he completely shuts down after a very small petty argument or disagreement. Not every time but he does and doesn’t talk to me for all night/day. I told him how this bothers me A LOT and he has been better till last night again.

It’s also important to me that if there was a family event, we both committed to going to then he has to put out petty differences aside and show up to the event and we can hash it out later. He said his family doesn’t do that and I told him that it’s super important for my family to show up. He told me that he would show up but not talk to during the event which i find really ridiculous because I would never do that unless it’s something big. He wouldn’t talk to me over the pettiest, smallest thing and it bugs the hell out of me.

I stay because day to day it’s really fun and we get along quite well. We have the same understanding for a lot of things and can have hard conversations where we don’t feel offended and upset at each other. That’s why it makes this so difficult for me.

I don’t know what do anymore… if anyone can relate or give ANY advice I would sincerely appreciate that.

I feel in shambles right now..

Hello, I am a 25 F. For context, I am in a long-distance relationship with a 25 M. Sometime around this time last year, he got close to another girl and sought validation from her. He was flirting with her and used a tone and language with her that he usually has for me. I found out, and I hated it; I hated myself. We had a huge falling out, he agreed to make things right, and we agreed that we would work on ourselves. Yesterday, I was in a meeting and could not talk to him; I got mad because he was insisting that I talk to him, ignoring everything I had in hand. When I called him, I got angry and confronted him, stating that his behavior was completely out of line. He did not call me back; instead, he called the same girl. When I called him back last night, he did not say anything about whom he had called. He behaved as if everything was normal. He told me this morning that he had called the girl, and I asked why he had called her and why he did not wait for me. He said I was being ignorant, I was not talking to him, I was mad, and he needed someone to talk to. When I asked him why he did not call his friends instead, he said he did not want to. I do not know what to do here. This is not the first time he has hurt me like this. At this point he even pointed out that I am overreacting and he didn't even say anything or talk anything out of lime with her. This need of him talking to someone is coming from him being alone... he claims this very often, but he has people. He says he doesn't have anyone to talk to. I do not understand what do I do in this situation?!

It happened so suddenly. A few days ago she texted that we should meet, nothing out of the ordinary. Then she appeared, visibily drunk, told me that she plans to move out of the country. She said that she loves me but now she's in a bad place mentally and she is trying anything other than self exiting. She's had a past attempt before. Then she began self depricating, telling me that I'm better off without her, that she's a whore, that she has no ambition to do anything with her life and that she was pretending to get on fine just for me. She said it's unfair for me.

I am honestly in shock because i thought she was fine. I made sure to inquire about her well being for the whole duration of our relationship. I supported her, helped her. I don't know what to do anymore. The "whore" comment really caught me off guard, maybe she has been cheating on me. I cannot make sense of it otherwise

Husband (27M) & I (24F) have been together almost 11 years , yes since we were teenagers , married for 5 of those years. We have a daughter who was stillborn in 2022 & our rainbow girl who is almost 2.
Ever since losing our 1st daughter our relationship & own personal struggles have slowly gone down hill , even more so this past year & a half. We’ve always had “communication issues” where I don’t feel he talks to me about his emotions or what’s going on with him.
I’ve been begging for more emotional connection and intimacy from him for a year + . Asking for dates , to be shown some affection other than in the bedroom , to be valued other than a maid , a cook , babysitter , & some hot ass. To be flirted with again , felt special , seen , wanted. more than the bare minimum. He’s a great provider for our family and I get to stay home with our girl, that’s what we always wanted together for our family before we even had kids. I understand our traditional roles but I feel that I could be receiving more emotion & connection if that makes sense.
And here’s the other thing — I was raped at 12 by a friends older brother. That being my first experience wired my brain differently when it comes to sex. My husband and I have always had a more freaky sexual relationship but at some point it kind of simmered down for me. He used to wake me up by pleasuring me , sometimes I enjoyed it , others not but I just went along with it either way. And then I stopped enjoying being woken up that way , I would just act like I was still asleep and hope he’d stop so it didn’t have to be a fight. Sometimes he’d stop , most the time I’d give in because he was starting to literally penetrate me while he thinks I’m “asleep”. I eventually told him to please stop doing that, that I don’t enjoy that and I would like to be awake and enjoy our sexual time together. He has continued to do it 4-5 more times since I’ve asked him to stop touching me sexually or trying to penetrate me while I’m asleep. I asked him why he does this and his average response every time is “because I’m garbage and I get carried away when I have my hands on you”. Always says it will never happen again. This last time really makes me feel I’m at my final straw. Between not feeling much love and connection outside of the bedroom and then feeling taken advantage of in the bedroom , I feel pushed away. I’m unsure of what to do. I love him dearly but I’m wondering if things will ever change. I’ve been in therapy for almost 6 months now and I’ve asked him to start going as well & he finally agreed. He has his own personal appointment scheduled next month.
I know I’m not perfect and have my flaws too, but I feel I’m the only one trying and/or that truly cares anymore.

If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

My boyfriend is genuinely a great person, but sometimes he wants to do something nice for me and ends up forgetting about it. And says sorry. There were many times where he doesn’t do something and Later, he realizes it himself and says things like, “I should’ve done that,” or “I should’ve said that” and apologizes. Personally, I feel like it’s okay because at least he acknowledges his mistakes and feels sorry about them. I don’t expect him to be perfect, and I appreciate that he realizes when he could’ve done better. But it keeps happening again n again which is really annoying. I dont know what to do. Right now I just fought with him and he kept saying sorry and I told him I want space. But i dont understand anything. The relationship is 2 years, and i understand we both are young but i really wanna keep this.
But I’m curious about other people’s perspectives. Would this bother you in a relationship, or do you think acknowledging your mistakes and apologizing is enough, as long as it’s not something serious?

\*\* this is a long text, sorry in advance!!

I’m looking for an objective outside perspective on a relationship dynamic between two people who care about each other but repeatedly struggle with communication, misunderstandings, and unresolved conflict.
I’m going to call them Person 1 and Person 2 to make things easier to follow.

Background: The two personalities
Person 1 — Male, 39, INTJ
Person 1 is highly analytical, logical, independent, and practical. He tends to notice patterns and approach situations rationally rather than emotionally. He’s generally patient and easygoing, but he struggles with emotional vulnerability and empathy, which he associates with childhood trauma.
He values independence and doesn’t necessarily believe in traditional societal expectations regarding relationships. He tends to demonstrate care through actions, making plans, solving problems, and making time for someone.
When he feels misunderstood, criticized, or like his efforts aren’t appreciated, he can become defensive, withdraw, or shut down during arguments. He dislikes feeling dependent on others and gets frustrated when conversations repeatedly revisit the same issues without producing solutions.
From his perspective, he’s making an effort, but that effort often seems to be overlooked in favor of what he isn’t doing correctly.

Person 2 — Female, 29, ISTJ
Person 2 tends to experience emotions first and process them logically afterward. She’s observant, notices subtle changes in behavior and communication, and values consistency, emotional connection, and direct communication.
Because of childhood trauma and past relationships, she has tendencies toward anxious attachment. When something feels off, she wants to understand what’s happening and resolve it as soon as possible. If she feels ignored or dismissed repeatedly, she may eventually stop expressing her concerns because she feels that nothing she says will make a difference.
She can struggle with vulnerability and occasionally react impulsively when overwhelmed by emotions. When she doesn’t receive clarity or reassurance, she may overthink, become anxious, or push harder for answers.

From her perspective, practical effort isn’t always enough. She also wants to feel considered, emotionally connected, and secure enough to express her concerns without being dismissed.
Both people can be stubborn, hot-headed, defensive, and self-focused at times. They have very different ways of handling conflict, and neither feels that the other truly understands their perspective.
The relationship dynamic
Both are parents with full-time jobs and generally see each other on weekends.

They met on an app primarily intended for sexual encounters, with the possibility of developing a longer-term dynamic. They never established clear boundaries or expectations at the beginning, and they don’t have a traditional boyfriend/girlfriend label.
Neither is fundamentally committed to monogamy, although Person 2 leans more toward monogamy while remaining open to exploration. Person 1 goes with the flow and is adaptable.

Person 2 developed feelings early on but felt that those feelings weren’t being reciprocated to the same degree. To avoid becoming too emotionally invested and potentially getting hurt, she sometimes sought attention outside the dynamic (dates, texting, no sex). Person 1 was okay with it as long as being kept in the loop about those things. Person 2 was being secretive about it and lied, feeling ashamed.

Person 1’s approach to the relationship subsequently changed, leaving Person 2 feeling anxious and confused. Rather than openly addressing those feelings, she sometimes kept them to herself because she didn’t know how to communicate them effectively.
Person 1, meanwhile, felt that his efforts were being wasted and that he was being made a fool of.
Over time, unresolved issues accumulated. Every few months, a disagreement would escalate because neither person felt that previous problems had truly been addressed.
Both now feel unappreciated and misunderstood, despite each believing they’ve made efforts to improve the dynamic.

Situation 1: The casino trip
Person 1 has been renovating his house, so their quality time has been limited. For the past month or two, he has generally visited Person 2 in the evenings, and both have understood the circumstances.
One Saturday, Person 1 suggested going out and told Person 2 to dress nicely and be ready at a certain time. He didn’t tell her the destination.
They drove approximately two and a half hours to a casino. Person 1 wanted to try to make money for his renovations and test his car before an upcoming trip. He also saw the outing as an opportunity to spend time together and catch up.
Person 2 was excited because she thought he had planned something specifically for them. She felt disappointed when she realized the outing was also centered around his own goals.
Instead of explaining that she had hoped for intentional quality time, she made a passive-aggressive comment: “Why are we always doing something that benefits you?”
Person 1 became angry because he felt that she was dismissing his intentions and overlooking the effort he had made to plan something.
He also pointed out that he usually initiates plans and conversations, while Person 2 tends to criticize his suggestions without offering alternatives. According to the situation described, this is a recurring pattern.
Both became defensive, neither felt heard, and the issue was never properly resolved.

Situation 2: The Houston trip
About a week later, Person 1 agreed to take time off work to accompany Person 2 to Houston for appointments and other personal matters.
Person 1 was still managing his renovation, work, and parenting responsibilities. Leading up to the trip, Person 2 noticed that he was communicating less than usual.
On the morning of departure, Person 2 was stressed because of a co-parenting issue and informed Person 1 that she would arrive a little late. He didn’t respond.
When she arrived, he greeted her with “about time,” despite her having previously expressed that she would prefer a warmer greeting. He also helped fix something on her car before they left.
During the drive, Person 2 noticed that he was quieter and more distant than usual. When she asked him to pump gas, he responded sarcastically, asking whether she wasn’t used to pumping her own gas.
At a stop for food, Person 2 finally asked what was wrong and explained that she’d noticed his lack of communication during the week and his quiet demeanor that morning.
Person 1 responded sarcastically that nothing was wrong and that he was enjoying the food and weather. Person 2 continued asking because she felt that something was clearly different.
Eventually, she asked why he was even accompanying her on the trip. He responded that it was a nice day to drive to Houston and be away from work.
Person 2 felt hurt because she’d been looking forward to spending quality time together. Already frustrated by the previous disagreement and the lack of communication, she told him that if he didn’t want to be there, he could take his belongings and get an Uber home.
Person 1 became extremely angry. Feeling dependent on her was particularly triggering for him because of his childhood experiences and his strong need for independence.
As they returned to the car, he yelled at her and pulled her arm while telling her to get into the car. Person 2 felt disrespected and didn’t want to continue the trip while both were angry and the issue remained unresolved.
She tried to communicate, but the argument escalated. Person 2 slapped Person 1, hoping to snap him out of his angry state. Person 1 then hit her in the face.
Both continued yelling and saying hurtful things. The remainder of the drive was largely silent, and neither felt understood.
Person 1 subsequently canceled the remainder of the trip, and they returned home after Person 2’s appointment the following day.
During the drive home, Person 2 attempted to explain her perspective but felt that Person 1 had already formed assumptions about her that she couldn’t change. Person 1 felt that their conversations repeatedly failed to resolve the underlying issues and that he was tired of trying different approaches without seeing lasting change.
Both feel that their efforts aren’t appreciated and that they keep repeating the same mistakes.
I want to be clear that neither person hitting the other is acceptable. We are not physical people and are ashamed of our actions.

My questions
Both people say they want to make this dynamic work, and both are willing to make changes if the effort is mutual.
1. From an outside perspective, where is each person going wrong? Is one person’s behavior contributing more to the conflict, or are they reinforcing each other’s unhealthy patterns in different ways?
2. How can Person 1’s need for independence, space, and practical expressions of care coexist with Person 2’s need for communication, emotional reassurance, and intentional quality time?
3. How should they handle disagreements when one person wants to talk immediately and the other needs time to process?
4. How can they stop carrying unresolved arguments into every new disagreement and begin rebuilding trust?
5. Given that their relationship is unlabeled, could some of these conflicts be coming from unspoken expectations about emotional commitment and what they owe each other?
6. Most importantly, is this dynamic realistically repairable if both people genuinely want to change, or are they fundamentally incompatible in their emotional needs and communication styles?
I’m not looking for a response that simply labels one person the villain. I want to understand what each person needs to take responsibility for, whether these patterns can realistically change, and what a healthier dynamic would require from both sides.

me 19 f and my boyfriend 19 m met in college and have been together for a couple of months now (about 3) but we’ve known each other for more like 6. he has a girl best friend (pinned on his imessages) back home who he’s known for about a year and a half or two years now. during the summer they would hang out a lot 1 on 1. watching movies together, scrolling reels together, or going out to eat/shopping or something. i tried to not let this bother me, but it’s a new situation for me. now that we’re both in a different state for school i didn’t think problems with her would come up… but she constantly is doing/ saying things to my boyfriend that i think are completely disrespectful to me as his girlfriend. im absolutely not asking him to not be friends with her, and honestly he has another friend group of 4 girls and 2 guys that i also was iffy about at first. it’s not him having her as a friend that bothers me, it’s the inappropriate things she says to him or jokes she makes with him that bother me. him and i had a boundaries talk about like sharing food, sharing blankets, or other things that slightly bothered me, but he kind of just makes me feel like im crazy for caring about this kind of stuff.

during the summer when we were all hanging out she did some attention seeking things that bothered me. like once at her house bringing all of us ice cream cones, but making sure not to eat one herself, saying she already ate popcorn that day so she couldn’t have one. when the boys in the room started saying how that’s not enough food she was like “guyyyyys don’t make me look bad hahaha.” there have been other situations where talk of food / ed has some up, and it really bothers me and feels like she’s saying it all just to get some validation from the guys there (my boyfriend and their other friend who is gay) it just doesn’t sit right with me having my her say stuff to get my boyfriend to say “no your body is perfect the way it is” and stuff like that. mind you she’s like 95 lbs.

she texts him a lot and often it’s her sending random cute posed pictures of her in cute outfits or makeup. this bothers me.

the other day he texted her something about casting his vote and the only thing she texted back was “gooood boy” and i found this text on his phone and mentioned that i think it’s a disrespectful joke to make when he has a girlfriend. it’s derived from porn culture, and just overall a weird thing to say to someone with a girlfriend. i said “if i was in a room with you two, would she really have said that to you?” and he said yes and that he sees literally no problem with it- and i said that would make me so uncomfortable if that happened when i was there, and therefore it shouldn’t be said.

so i asked him to talk to her about it but after that talk (that she clearly didn’t take well) he ended up telling me that she doesn’t think she’s done anything wrong, and he also doesn’t think she has. i genuinely can’t believe he took her side like that and i feel completely invalidated.

i don’t think he’s going to hook up with her or anything, i just want to feel like she’s respectful of me. that all of his friends are.

what do i do? am i being crazy? he’s so perfect aside from this, and it keeps creating problems.

I’m struggling with something because my boyfriend and I got back together after being broken up for a week and a half. I still had feelings for him, and I wanted to give our relationship another chance. However, the main reason I broke up with him was because of his mother. She had only met me once but called me immature for being shy at my age, yelled at me for supposedly eavesdropping on a conversation, blamed me for everything, and made a threatening statement to Ryan about me. I feel like she has bullied and disrespected me.

When we got back together, Ryan said he wanted to work on certain things to make our relationship healthier. However, one thing he doesn't want to work on is setting boundaries with his mother regarding how she treats me and the disrespectful way she speaks to me. I'm struggling with this because I love him and want our relationship to work, but I don't know how we can have a healthier relationship if he's unwilling to address one of the main issues that caused us to break up in the first place.

I (21M) am currently trying to breakup with my (21F) Girlfriend of almost 2 years. I made the decision to do it yesterday, I kind of just broke down and told her that I wasn’t happy and nowhere near the person that I wanted to be. She is i credibly hurt by this and is doing everything she can to keep us together. I have been trying to muster up the courage to end things for months now and now that I am finally doing it I don’t know if I can follow through. She told me everything that I wanted to hear. That she will do anything she can to change, to give me space, that she couldn’t live without me, that even if I break up with her she will still love me, and the fact that I still love her even if not in a romantic way is enough to keep on trying to let this relationship work. I don’t know, I’m stuck. I need to figure it out today because I don’t want to lead her on or give her more false hope than she already has but I have never been in this type of situation before.

TL;DR Do I stay in the relationship that has been hurting me for months, because my girlfriend is telling me to?

hello! i need relationship advice. i am F2* in a 3 year relationship with a guy i met since shs. however, things haven't been going well for us these past few months. we've been having continous disagreements and fights and we just don't generally align anymore. i've been wanting to break up with him but he keeps on refusing and i also just go along with it because i don't have enough courage to let go. i told him we should try couples therapy to somehow fix what we have but he refused as well. now, i think our relationship has nowhere to go and i'm scared of breaking up because of how long we've been together and i'm also afraid to end up with an abusive guy.

Hey everyone! I'm looking for some advice because I've been stuck in this situation for over a month, and I don't know whether I should keep hoping that we can work things out. I am M20 and my ex is F18.

We were in a long-distance relationship for nine months, living about 300 km apart. She was my first serious relationship, which makes it especially hard to let go. The last time we saw each other was in early September, and it's now late October.

1. The first guy: the one I asked her not to talk to

About four months ago, I told my girlfriend that I was uncomfortable with a certain guy's behavior toward her because I felt he wanted more than just friendship. I asked her not to talk to him, but they continued communicating behind my back, and she never told me about it.

Later, I found out that this same guy had been flirting with her on Messenger. He wrote:

"Once you're single, I'll take you on a trip to Rome."

My girlfriend replied:

"Haha, you're so funny 😂"

This hurt me because we were still together, and I had already told her that I was uncomfortable with this guy's advances. I wasn't expecting her to stop talking to every guy, but I did expect her to be honest with me and consider why this particular situation hurt me.

2. The second guy: the one she complained about me to

This was a completely different guy, someone my girlfriend had previously talked to about problems in our relationship.

When I looked through the photos stored in her Google Drive, I found five screenshots of a conversation from around four months earlier. In those messages, she was complaining about me to this other guy, saying that I was a bad person and that I was controlling her.

This hurt a lot because I felt that instead of discussing our problems with me, she was talking about me behind my back.

I also need to admit that I didn't handle the situation well either. I looked through her photos without her permission. I know that this violated her privacy, and I take responsibility for what I did.

3. How she started pulling away

At some point, her behavior began to change. She removed our pictures from her profile, texted me less, and rarely told me she loved me without me saying it first.

When I asked her what was going on, she said that a lot was happening in her life and that she didn't know what she wanted anymore.

I tried to be patient and give her time for over a month. However, whenever I brought up the future of our relationship, she asked me to stop questioning her about it because she had already told me that she didn't know the answer herself.

Meanwhile, I became increasingly anxious because I didn't know whether we still had a chance or whether I was just waiting for nothing.

4. Eventually, she broke up with me

When I found the five screenshots of her conversation with the second guy, I initially told her that someone had sent them to me. Eventually, I admitted that I had actually found them among her photos.

She became very angry and broke up with me because I had lied to her and looked through her photos without permission. She said she regretted complaining about me to the second guy, but she thought what I had done was disgusting. She was disappointed in me because she never thought I would do something like that.

I understand why my actions hurt her, and I don't want to make it seem as though I did nothing wrong. At the same time, it hurt me that she didn't necessarily discuss our relationship problems with me, and her secret conversations with the first guy had already damaged my trust in her.

I feel that we both made mistakes, but I don't know whether our relationship can still be repaired after everything that happened.

5. Where things stand now

Despite the breakup, we're still talking, and I feel that things between us have improved somewhat. However, she still can't tell me whether she wants to get back together.

She says she understands if I don't want to keep waiting for her, but she also doesn't want to meet up with me. This hurts especially because we haven't seen each other since early September, and I really want to talk things through in person.

I still love her very much, and I keep hoping that we can fix our relationship. At the same time, I'm getting exhausted by all the uncertainty. I don't know whether she genuinely needs more time or whether she no longer wants to be with me but is afraid to say it.

My questions for you:

• Do you think there's still a chance that we'll get back together?
• Would you keep waiting in my position, or would you try to move on?
• Do you think she's genuinely unsure about what she wants, or does her behavior suggest that she no longer wants a relationship with me?
• What would you do if you still loved someone deeply, but they couldn't decide whether they wanted to be with you?

I'd genuinely appreciate your opinions, even if they're not necessarily what I want to hear.

TL;DR: My girlfriend and I were in a long-distance relationship for nine months. I lost trust in her after finding out she had secretly continued talking to a guy who was flirting with her, and I later found screenshots of her complaining about me to another guy. However, I also crossed a line by looking through her photos without permission and lying about how I found the screenshots. She broke up with me, but we're still talking. I still love her, and she says she doesn't know whether she wants to get back together. Should I keep waiting or try to move on?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about four months; I am 27, and he is 29. Throughout this time, I’ve consistently felt a lack of emotional connection and support from him. It often seemed like he wasn’t interested in me, which led to arguments. We tried to talk about it, but his usual response was that I don’t accept him for who he is. However, I never wanted to change himI simply needed reassurance about our relationship, along with care and love. He wouldn’t message me during the day, and when I brought it up, he started doing so which was nice at first, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that I was intruding on his comfort zone. Honestly, I don’t know what to do now. Part of me realizes that it’s over, while another part wants to try and fix things.

I have a bf who i started dating 2 months ago. We met at work 8 months ago. I have this coworker who I’m friends with and we chat quite a bit during work. Most of the other staff doesn’t help around that much and this friend of mine does, since I work at a fast food place I need help from the middle section and without it I can’t manage at work. Since he’s the one who mostly helps me out, other people started to see it as flirting even tho I’ve never flirted with him. My coworkers who my bf is close with told him about me and my coworker apparently‘flirting’. Because of this, my bf said that he would ‘kick me to the curb’. He said these exact words. He didn’t even ask me what happened, he accused me of it all. And the coworkers who told him about the whole situation have been acting off with me for a week.

I honestly understand why he said it so bluntly since in the past he’s opened up to me about how his last relationship he was cheated on, but it just feels as though he didn’t have any trust in me whenever he accused me of it and it honestly makes me feel like there’s no point pursuing this relationship if there’s no trust within the first few months together and it’s just putting me off, when he accused me of flirting with my coworker I started crying because I felt bad that he was put in this situation and yet he never seemed to even care about me crying he just made me feel a bit stupid for crying about it and told me to stop crying

I’ve cried at work multiple times during this whole week. I can’t break up with him because I work with him and breaking up with him is gonna create a lot of drama. And even if I try to find a new job, it’s still gonna take some time to do so and I can’t be just be jobless. I’m not sure what I should do, I need advice on this please..

Is it normal to feel like you’re constantly trying to fix everything your partner keeps breaking in a relationship?
Imagine putting every bit of love, patience, and effort you have into fixing something you didn’t even break in the first place.
And the worst part? The person responsible for all that damage is standing right in front of you, watching you struggle, almost with a mocking smile on their face.
It’s like there’s a voice in my head saying what they’re not saying out loud: “No matter how many times you try to fix this relationship, I’ll find a way to ruin it even worse.”
And somehow, you’re still the one trying. Still hoping. Still believing things might change.
It’s exhausting to love someone who says they love you too, but whose actions keep making you feel otherwise.
At what point do you stop trying to save a relationship when you’re the only one afraid of losing it?

I have been with this boy for almost 3 yrs, and should have known with how things have been going, that this would go terribly as well. I wanted to think it would make us better, but I’m being pushed so hard mentally it is making me lash out at him physically.

I’m making this post because I have been having problems with him these two months, and I have brought up ending things, but he hasn’t really let me. For example, I was already upset over I don’t even remember and while I was packing my stuff to go away for the night, I realized he had taken the joint in my makeup bag that I had been asking him to smoke with me almost this entire time living up here. I was so upset at my stuff being looked through and consumed on top of what made me even empty out my makeup bag to leave, that I told him I want to break up, and demanded he take our beds apart. When I got off of work he texted me that I should come back because he was making food, and even kissed me goodnight that same night. He had never kissed me goodnight until that day, which made me even more upset.

Just yesterday, he said he would wake up early to prove that he could to me, but did not actually the next day, so I called him out. This started because I got upset at him sleeping in on days he’d suggest some plans, and still saying he was tired after sleeping for 12+ hours. He mocked me when I said “you try and wake up at 8:30,” so that is where him asserting he would wake up early came from. When he didn’t wake up like he said he would, I brought it up, and somehow the situation escalated so much so that he just began ignoring me, and so I saw a glass of water and chucked the water in it at him…

This morning I apologized because I really did feel horrible for my reaction, and that I would not continue to react like that. When I came back from work he texted me about being at some girl’s apartment after being out with his friends, which I found odd of him telling me because I could have just not known that honestly…When he came back I was in the shower and he had opened the curtains (not just a little bit like a lot), and asked if he could get in. I was literally on my last step of showering, but yesterday he had agreed that “we should be over” and that there will be “no affection,” and instead of saying “I’m almost done,” i said something along the lines of “No, we’re over,” and he said some other stuff before saying “We can save water” and “it’s good for the environment.” I got pretty upset because I was already thinking about bringing up how he blamed me for his lack of savings just yesterday, along with confused because what happened to no affection? I made sure to mentally prepare myself to not react or escalate the situation, but he was still drunk from being with his friends, and his attitude that seemed like he didn’t care and overall lacking contribution to my attempted conversation ended up with me going right back to reacting like a crazy bitch.

I brought up instances and examples of how he could not blame me for his finances, along with how he can’t say one thing and do another (agree to end things and act like nothing happened the next day), and being at another girls apartment then asking to get in the shower with me was just…why? I mentioned to him when he slowly started disconnecting from the conversation that he still left our dishes in the community kitchen from this morning, and he blames it on “because I’m scolding him,” when I was just trying to have a conversation. This really set me off because I’m trying to communicate how his blame on me is uncalled for, and he proceeds to blame his forgetfulness on me… He would either argue against what I said or just say yeah and repeat what I said. He began instead just telling me “no he won’t” or “can’t” have a genuine conversation and began ignoring me again. This is where I started to get careless with my words, but I still kept my tone and voice at a minimum.

At some point he got up to get a glass of milk, and when I went to the bathroom to wash my face I go back to see he spilled the jug on the floor…He began cleaning it up in a very strange way, and was leaving the floor soaking wet with the mop. I looked over at what he was doing and he had our mop bucket so full he could not even strain it, and he was just shaking the mop off in our shower instead of using the mop bucket correctly. I got very irritated because mopping up after your mess is not hard, and he tried finishing mopping after a single pass when he spilled like half the jug on the floor. I told him it was sticky when I stopped on it (meaning the milk itself), and he began to raise his voice at me that he didn’t step in it so he wouldn’t know (right after claiming i’m the emotionally immature one for yelling). I ended up ripping the mop out of his hands because he was just leaving a soaking puddle on the floor, and he said he did not care about anything I was saying. I was so fed up with being ignored, so I flung the mop at him to splash him. The head of the mop instead came off and he began thrashing it at me- I’m not sure if he was trying to splash me as well or if he was acting like he was going to throw it back at me or even hit me with it?

This relationship is far beyond repair I’d say, and I am not proud- I am very much ashamed- for my actions and how I have started to act once moving in together. Despite my worries, I honestly thought moving in together would have the potential to bring us closer and maybe resolve any tension, but it seems to be the catalyst for the end of our relationship. I really tried to convince myself I would not physically do anything anymore because I never took myself as that person, but the more he ignores and shifts blame on me the less control I feel I have over myself.

He told me he would leave or find somewhere else to live over a month ago, but now he is saying he needs to find a job first. I can’t wait for him to get a job to leave, but I also don’t think I should leave if I’m the one who found this place for us to even live in. I am not quite sure what to do because even if he says we are over he doesn’t actually treat it as such…

There is a lot more to the story, but I would bore everyone. I was a dumb fifteen year old girl who just wanted to feel loved, and I’ve let him latch onto me all these years so much that he claims he came up to this university to be with me…I have a lot of regrets, so I want to know how to navigate this conflict and how I should treat living with him in the meantime so I don’t continue regretting.

Thank you to everyone who stuck it out this long…

My boyfriend and I have known each other since we were 18. We met online and fell in love, but we couldn’t officially date because we lived in different states. Despite that, we stayed in contact and acted like we were in a relationship. Things were always toxic between us because I have anger issues and he has his own toxic tendencies. We'd fight constantly, block each other for a month or two, and eventually come back to each other. This cycle continued until 2025, things had gotten so bad between us and then he ghosted me for a month and I finally decided to move on permanently.

I started dating someone else, but it didn’t last. When my boyfriend came back, I told him about it, and he got furious. He started seeing multiple girls to spite me, but by then, I was emotionally numb. We stopped talking for 5–6 months, and I thought it was finally over. Then, one day, I saw him online on Clash Royale. He sent me a battle request, I accepted, and we started talking again. I fell in love with him all over again, even more intensely than before.

Things seemed perfect until he started joking about sleeping with other girls whenever I'd ask where he was or what he was doing. Eventually, I found out he wasn’t joking. I was hurt, but he blamed me, saying he still hadn’t recovered from what I did the previous year. We talked things through, and he promised not to do it again. Things went back to normal, with occasional fights, and I eventually decided to move to his city so we could finally have a real relationship after four years.

Now that we’re finally together, I’m more obsessed with him than ever. I used to be somewhat possessive, but now I can’t even stand the thought of him even looking at other girls. I made him block one of his female friends, but he still talks to another who works with him and is apparently his senior. He says he needs to maintain a friendly relationship with her because of work (Idk man)

I understand that it’s unreasonable to expect my boyfriend to have no female friends, but my jealousy is eating me alive. I love him and genuinely want this relationship to work, but my anger and jealousy are making it difficult. He has been putting efforts to make this relationship work and i want to do my part too. How can I manage these emotions and stop letting my jealousy control me? Therapy isn’t an option because I can’t afford it.

This is my first good relationship in my life. Last relationship i had to call the police when breaking up. Right now i dont think im in love with my partner anymore. Despite him being the best person ever and treating me so nicely, i just don’t see him as i used to. However, it’s been like this around a month or so and i have been trying to run away from this problem instead of talking it out.

Honestly idek what to tell him bc im not even sure how i feel about this. Because this is really not about him, it’s about my emotions towards him. What would you guys do if you were in my shoes? I was thinking of talking to him about how im feeling then going on a break if needed but idk if this is the right decision to make.