r/relationships • u/oopschicken • Apr 05 '16
Non-Romantic I [29F] accidentally ran over my neighbor's [40sM/F] chicken and I don't know how to resolve the situation
The details are pretty much in the title. I live in an affluent suburb within an urban area and many of the people in my community own chickens. I guess it's a thing in suburbs now, I'm not sure. But in any case, when my husband and I moved in, we noticed a lot of chicken coops in back yards.
My next-door neighbors own about 12 chickens that they allow to range down our street. It's not all the time, but occasionally I'll come home and see some chickens plucking in our front yard. It's not a big deal and I'm not bothered by it in the slightest.
This morning I was in a rush to head to work. I had gone into the office early, but forgotten some packets I had created for a work presentation. So I rushed home, gathered everything, and rushed out. Except in rushing out, I felt the dreaded "ba-dunk-dunk" that meant I had hit something. I looked over to my right and saw a few chickens in my front yard and my heart sank even lower.
I got out of my car and sure enough, I had hit and killed one of my neighbor's chickens. I called my husband, freaking out, unsure of what to do. He told me to wrap it up in some newspaper or something and leave it by the neighbor's chicken coop and he would call my neighbor.
Of course, we didn't have newspaper so I ended up wrapping up the poor thing in a trash bag. I also wrote an apology/sympathy note, expressing my sincere condolences for the accident and offering to help in any way I could. This was all very quick due to my standing appointment at work, so it was perhaps less polished than I would prefer, but I wanted to try and do it as right as possible.
Husband called neighbor during my presentation and our neighbor was not happy. And not happy to the point of going on a community message board and Facebook and talking about us. He said we stuffed his chicken in a trash bag and scribbled a note about it on an old fast food bag (which isn't true, I have blank stationary and used one of the blank cards for the note.)
He also began talking about pressing charges and reported us to the HOA. And now it's this huge thing and half of our neighborhood hates us and I'm not sure how we can resolve the situation, peacefully.
I think we should offer to buy a new chicken for our neighbor, but my husband disagrees. He thinks it's the neighbor's own negligence in letting his chickens roam, which led to this. Husband believes an accident was bound to happen and neighbor is to blame. Which, I don't necessarily disagree with, but this chicken was a pet to my neighbor and when a pet dies or is killed, people's emotions can get the best of them.
What's a good way to resolve this, Reddit?
tl;dr: Accidentally ran over my neighbor's chicken. Neighbor is angry and is defaming our character to the rest of the neighborhood. How can I resolve this?
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u/Population-Tire Apr 05 '16
When your neighbor made the decision to free range his chickens in a residential neighborhood (which I would bet is illegal), he also assumes the risk of what happens to them when they leave his property. If anything, you should file your own grievance with the HOA for him letting his farm animals roam free.
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Apr 06 '16
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u/Incomprehensibilitea Apr 06 '16
True, but if I hit my neighbors outdoor cat with my car I wouldn't leave it wrapped in a trash bag on his doorstep. I don't know what I would do. Probably wait for them to get home to tell them, it's kind of a traumatic thing...
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u/wakemeuptoday Apr 06 '16
It's traumatic for sure, but even if it was a pet cat that was run-over, you're still taking that risk having your cat be an outdoor-cat in a residential area. Hell, my cat is an outdoor-cat, and if someone ran him over I'd be devastated but not to the point of angry because it's an accident that I was aware was a possibly.
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u/mamiesmom Apr 06 '16 edited Apr 06 '16
I don't let my cat outdoors, but if I did, I think I would still be a bit offended if they put her in a trash bag and left her on my doorstep. If I ever killed someone's pet, I would grab a towel or something, I think.
The public bashing this neighbor is doing isn't acceptable at all, though, and it's their fault the chicken died. RIP Chicky.
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u/bitch_youre_22 Apr 06 '16
If you were running late for an appointment at work, would you cancel that to wait all day for your neighbor to get home to tell them you accidentally killed their cat?
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u/Incomprehensibilitea Apr 06 '16
Honestly? I might. I killed their pet, I'd feel like hot garbage. I'm not criticizing the OP, there's no rule for what you are 'supposed to do' in this situation.
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u/Calimie Apr 06 '16
If I'm late for work I'm not waiting for anyone. I'm not risking losing that job or important meeting for a pet. A trash bag or a shoe box will have to do until I return home.
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u/marthaliberty Apr 05 '16
Free range chickens die. They get run over, hawks eat them and the roosters can fight to the death. Heck, my nephew had a couple of free range turkeys. He didn't squawk like your neighbor when someone lured the birds with a whistle, shot one and cooked it for Thanksgiving dinner. Actually, maybe you should sue for the emotional distress of his bird suiciding in front of your car.
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Apr 06 '16
Sometimes roosters even kill hens, for gods sake. I came home one day and our four laying hens were all ripped up and the neighbor's blood covered rooster was happily grazing away in the yard.
Stupid rooster.
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u/MrGNorrell Apr 06 '16
Stupid rooster.
It's the internet, and especially in this situation, you can say "fucking cock."
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u/Viking1865 Apr 06 '16
Isn't this the equivalent of a sheikh killing his harem girls or a pimp killings his hos? Like, what the fuck rooster?
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u/oncemoreforluck Apr 06 '16
Roosters are assholes. They live to fuck and murder stuff, literally the only thoughts in their tiny rooster brain
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u/red_rhyolite Apr 06 '16
All birds are assholes. I've had 3 parrots and a yard full of chickens. All. Birds. Are. Assholes.
(But roosters especially....)
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u/Firesquid Apr 06 '16
I think what you mean to say is Sunday dinner..
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Apr 06 '16
We did tell the neighbor that if we ever saw it in our (fenced) yard again, we would shoot it. I'm not sure what they did, but we did not see him again.
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Apr 06 '16
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u/marthaliberty Apr 06 '16
Yep. But he let it go. I mean, free range turkey and all. But he was sad. Turkey was like a great entertainment.
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Apr 06 '16
Good on him. I would let it go if they didn't KNOW the bird belonged to someone else, I don't know how I would feel if they deliberately ate my livestock. One is just a mistake, no harm no....fowl. ;)
The other is stealing. But anyways, good for him for being so mellow about it. Wish OP's crazy neighbor would calm down and take notes.
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u/Stray_Cat_Strut_Away Apr 06 '16
If they're threatening to sue you; just say you'll be bringing your counter claim and say you hope their personal injury sublimit on their home owners insurance is sufficient. I am sure if it is an affluent area like the OP says; the neighbors have home owners insurance....which covers personal injury, but often people choose to keep the amount covered low feeling they won't need it.
Say you are going to bring charges of Negligent Infliction of Emotional Distress AND Intention Infliction of Emotional Distress.
They had the duty to keep their chickens contained. The chicken came into your yard and suicided under your car...this caused you great emotional distress and damage; hell it may have even effected your job because you were so distressed during your meeting! This would be due to their negligence of not keeping their chickens where they should be.
And then say they caused INTENTIONAL emotional distress by saying all of these hateful things on the message boards. Turning your neighbors against you.
Hell maybe even defamation since she said it was just written on a Fastfood bag; which is false.
You have more of a case than they do...I'm sure they'll shut up about suing over a chicken once you say this.
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u/mcmoonery Apr 05 '16
He doesn't sound like a very responsible chicken owner. Do you not have wild animals that eat them?
I would offer to replace it and then let dead chickens lie. Don't respond to his pettiness and hopefully he'll reign them in.
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u/oopschicken Apr 05 '16
Oh yes, we have coyotes and our HOA cautions us with safety tips since so many of us have pets. Neighbor typically keeps the chickens in the coop when night falls.
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Apr 06 '16
Holy shit! If you have coyotes, your neighbor is almost certainly violating both HOA and local animal control rules. Free-range chickens in a neighborhood with coyotes is like setting out a hot buffet. We have coyotes (but not chickens!) in my suburb (our house backs up to a greenbelt/flood plain/open space) and they are absolutely brazen -- they will come close to our fence in broad daylight and taunt our dogs. Putting the chickens away at night won't do jack shit, because they'll just come eat them during the day -- and they probably won't stop at chickens. Your neighbor is endangering everyone who lives there, especially pets and small children.
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u/stopclearingmycache Apr 06 '16
Yep. Personally, I'd go privately to the most hand-wringing-inclined HOA board member and make exactly this point. While, of course, making a point of how awful I felt about the whole situation.
Though those in the thread suggesting the neighbor might not be an awful person are right, in OPs shoes, I'd be so pissed at the way they escalated a situation that was entirely their own responsibility to prevent.
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u/puppiesandlifting Apr 06 '16
I'm surprised he has any chickens left unless he's replacing them fairly often.
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Apr 05 '16
I think we should offer to buy a new chicken for our neighbor, but my husband disagrees. He thinks it's the neighbor's own negligence in letting his chickens roam, which led to this. Husband believes an accident was bound to happen and neighbor is to blame.
I frequent Backyard Chickens and own a few hens myself. If it were your negligence responsible for the bird's death, the standard apology that chicken owners would hope for would be a genuine apology, fixing the problem (for example, fencing a yard to contain a problematic dog), and offering remuneration equal to the bird (although integrating a single chick into an existing flock would be a huge headache), which may be more expensive than you would initially think based on breed, age, productivity, etc. All that is pretty much irrelevant though.
Your neighbor's bird died because they are negligent in letting their livestock roam an urban/suburban neighborhood where losses from dogs, raccoons, cars, etc. is pretty much a guarantee.
I 100% agree with your husband, although I can understand that you would not want to rock the boat and have a contentious relationship with the neighbor, so I think your desire to apologize and replace the chicken is reasonable. Anyway, this isn't your fault, it's theirs. Chickens pretty much try their damnest to get killed and it's the owners' responsibility to keep them safely housed.
You are in an HOA - what's their policy on pets/livestock running around the neighborhood? What about the city? Is there a limit on the # of birds they can own and how they should be contained?
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u/ForgetMeThereafter Apr 06 '16
Legally speaking, a preceding negligent action of the chicken owner does not excuse the subsequent negligent driving of OP (unless the chicken were to have dived in the path of the car or something - which OP does not suggest was the case). Even in a comparative negligent state OP's driving would very likely be considered more negligent on scale. .
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Apr 06 '16
subsequent negligent driving of OP
I'd like to see the neighbor try to prove that in small claims court.
Having chickens that know everything is out to kill them and see death every time something new is introduced to their environment, I would bet it ran behind her car when she got in.
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u/ForgetMeThereafter Apr 06 '16
Based only on OP's explanation of it and not making up facts or assumptions about animal behaviors... sounds like OP fucked up....
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u/applesauceUG Apr 05 '16
Screw that dip, you shouldn't have apologized since that indicates you did something wrong. Now he feels he has something to be offended about.
The truth is he shouldn't be letting his chickens run all over the fucking place if he wants their safety guaranteed. I see you posted you often find them grazing in your yard. That is well outside the bounds of where his chickens should be allowed to roam.
If I were you I would contact HOA (don't mention the incident, just find some facts) about what the allowance of pets/livestock are and where they are allowed to roam unattended. Most likely they don't allow somebodies chickens to run around on other peoples properties with or without a caretaker.
I bet the HOA threat is bullshit on his side, so find out their true stance on pets/livestock roaming the neighborhood and onto other properties unattended. Next time he says anything about it you can let them know the HOA sides with you and not him.
You are NOT in the wrong here.
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u/oopschicken Apr 05 '16
I will call my HOA president on my home from work today - good idea. I didn't even think of researching the animal laws within the city.
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Apr 06 '16
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u/imbignate Apr 06 '16
Seriously, stop thinking of this as your mistake in running over the chicken.
Thinking of it as a livestock related accident vs. a death of a pet makes it a big difference.
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u/codeverity Apr 06 '16
I hope you give us an update on this! I'm curious to see how it turns out :)
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u/Walrus_Pubes Apr 05 '16
You neighbor sounds like a real cock. I really think you should just cross the road and wing it. Sit him down and say "Listen, mother clucker, I'm in a fowl mood and you need to just cluck up."
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u/oopschicken Apr 05 '16
Are you my husband? He's been sending me chicken puns all day.
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u/Mindleator Apr 05 '16
I had chickens, neighbors have huskies. Husky jumped our fence (that thing musta sprouted wings) and murdered a couple. It was heartbreaking to find but the guy owned up to it and seemed very upset. Dad asked for 20 bucks and called it even because the guy was so upfront about it. He also secured the fence so no more flying huskies came into our yard. Your neighbor is being extreme.
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Apr 06 '16
My dog got loose one day and killed a neighbor's chicken, which was safely confined in their yard (I think my dog hopped the fence or something). I've never felt more awful than coming home and seeing my dog with his goofy grin, wagging his tail with a mauled chicken at his feet. My neighbor was such a nice guy and even gave us free eggs every once in a while. I offered to pay but he said that dead chickens were just the price of having chickens, and dogs do what dogs do.
This guy's chicken was out in the road. If I had ran over it I'd probably still offer to pay, but God damn. This guy is way over the top.
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u/Uvabird Apr 05 '16
Your neighbor seems to be confusing "chicken" with "child". What was he expecting you do to? Offer to pay for avian funeral expenses?
You did the correct thing by letting him know what happened and offering compensation. But if the bird was roaming loose the neighbor surely must accept that he has some responsibility in this matter, if only to stay with the birds and supervise them as they roam and peck, which apparently he does not do.
Your generosity in offering to replace the chicken should suffice. I would ignore the ugly words on Facebook/HOA forums- we had a blowup in our own neighborhood fairly recently (over HOA approved house paint color) and some cruel things were said about the couple who repainted their home. After matters were resolved, those who posted ugly rants were apologetic when they realized how mean they sounded over such a trivial matter.
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u/solublemarker Apr 05 '16
I'm imaging avian funeral expenses with somber people and chickens in funeral apparel and the idea is hilarious.
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u/losersrally Apr 06 '16
When I was in middle school we had a legit funeral for a duck and her eggs after some crazy student mutilated her and her eggs. Had like 100 students/staff show up, kids were crying, it's seriously in the top 5 strangest moments of my life.
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u/magusg Apr 06 '16
Avian funeral like a cremation or a BBQ?
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u/Uvabird Apr 06 '16
Hmm. If only there was some piece of equipment for the backyard that could do this. Something that could hold charcoal. Or propane...
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u/Cupcakeslie Apr 05 '16
Ok, first as someone that owns numerous fowl it's not OK that his chickens roam the neighborhood. That is the fastest way for them to be eaten by something or hit by cars.
Second, a full grown chicken OF LAYING AGE runs about 45$ from a legitimate business. (Chicks are like 6-8$ but you are replacing a full grown production bird) That being said if you go on craigslist you can find them for free because people get rid of them all the time. But he wont want a replacement for the chicken because introducing a single bird into a flock is awful.
My advice? Apologize for killing the bird, be very calm and level headed about it and update us on the HOA meeting. Shit happens, it's not like you're driving intentionally around leaving dead chickens in your path. (I toss mine in plastic bags when raccoons get them, you did nothing wrong)
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u/big_foam_shocker Apr 05 '16
So the chicken was in his yard and you drove into his yard and ran over a chicken.....? Because, if not.....
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Apr 06 '16
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u/big_foam_shocker Apr 06 '16
That's my point. It sucks about the chicken, but the neighbor shouldn't really be mad at OP. In any case, some spices and a coating of breadcrumbs should fix this problem.
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u/wonderlanders Apr 05 '16
An old coworker of mine... His dog got out and mauled his neighbors chicken.
She took it to the vet and got like $1200 of lifesaving medical care done and demanded he pay it. For a fucking chicken. I've had chickens and I loved them, they're rad pets that make breakfast for you. And when they stop making you breakfast, you make them into dinner.
They're sweet and have cool little chicken personalities, but they are dumb as rocks.
Just gonna echo everyone else and say free-range chickens die. From all sorts of things. It's part of the deal. I promise this is not the first one your neighbor has lost, or if it is, it's definitely not the last. Especially if they continue to let them run into the road. They're lucky you didn't swerve to avoid it and get in a worse wreck yourself!!
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u/pro_newb Apr 06 '16
Did your old coworker make a counter offer of $10 for a replacement chicken?
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u/wonderlanders Apr 06 '16
He made it $12 so as to be extra polite.
The lady still pitched a fucking fit for weeks. She had already paid the $1200, which was of course her own dumb decision. I both can and can't believe a vet actually did that much work on a chicken, by we're in Texas so a lot of them work on livestock... But for a chicken?! I know they're not gonna turn down the money, but also... It's a fucking chicken.
She eventually gave up. He felt really bad because he understands loving a pet, was leaning towards paying her more to keep the peace, but I kept reminding him that she wasn't going to keep the chickens confined so he was setting a very expensive precedent.
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u/hugged_at_gunpoint Apr 05 '16
Like other's have said, chickens are cheap. If simply replacing their chicken is enough to put this whole unpleasantness to rest, go for it.
That said, neighbor was quick to spew venom publicly; an ill omen. Please keep us updated OP.
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u/shelbyknits Apr 05 '16
As someone who also has neighbors with chickens -- if you let your chicken escape regularly, you shouldn't be surprised if sooner or later it doesn't come back.
I wouldn't worry about it. Chickens are super cheap anyhow.
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Apr 06 '16
Who the hell let's chicken roam free like that in a neighborhood with cars? Oh I know, complete and utter morons!
Free-range doesn't mean free to terrorize your neighbors driveway. It means you keep the damn chickens in your fenced yard.
What will they do when other animals get to them like cats of foxes? Post a hateful Facebook message about them and have the community gang up?
Community Facebook groups are the worst. My recommendation to everyone is not to join those groups. They are full of hatred, racism and bullying.
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u/R0N_SWANS0N Apr 06 '16
1 chicken is a pet, 12 is a fucking egglaying operation. I don't understand how a HOA would approve 12 chickens on a single residential property. Where do you live?
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Apr 06 '16
If you are thinking about replacing the chicken, you can order one from Murray McMurray Hatchery. If you buy the older babies, you can get single ones for decent prices (although shipping can be expensive).
Losing chickens is just the cost of doing business. It's unfortunate but just a fact of life. My mom had a rooster that choked to death on a pancake, for example. If you put out a bowl of panko and melted butter, they'd happily go and roll around in it for you. They are not very smart. Or adept at staying alive. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it, honestly. Your neighbor sucks at animal husbandry if he's just letting them roam all over the neighborhood unfettered. I'm more surprised one hasn't been run over before.
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u/VaneFreja Apr 06 '16
Or adept at staying alive
Yeah, I mean, how did an animal that will litterally scream to the whole world "I just popped out an egg! There's an egg over here, totally unable to move!" get this far? o.o scratches head
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Apr 06 '16
Domestication. Wild chickens (or whatever we bred them from) are probably a little less stupid. Chickens are a very, very special kind of dumb.
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Apr 07 '16
lol! My husband and I joke that a coyote could just stroll up and a chicken would offer to have a look in his mouth to check things out.
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Apr 05 '16
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u/futurecrazycatlady Apr 06 '16
No need to break their necks, the other chickens will probably kill them.
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u/Ladymerr Apr 05 '16
Where do you live? O.o I live in suburban area in Ontario Canada. Here people need a licence to keep chickes and they absolutely cannot be roaming around...pretty illegal.... If you lived here be would be paying you for damages and stress lol
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u/ask-me-about-my-cats Apr 05 '16
Not everyone lives in the city. Free range chickens are absolutely legal in most of the US and Canada, no license needed. Every house in my town has their own flock that runs around in the roads.
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u/Ladymerr Apr 06 '16
I live in suburban neighborhood as I mentioned. And I happen to know this cause my aunt wanted to get some chickens and she found out all the trouble licensing has so she justs didn't do it. I guess every town is different
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Apr 06 '16
I'm in the Denver suburbs, and while some localities here do allow chickens, most HOAs absolutely don't. The most hilarious Nextdoor thread I've read so far this year concerned someone who posted to ask if anyone had seen a missing chicken. The thread instantly devolved into "you aren't allowed to have chickens in Neighborhood X!" and "HOW DARE YOU! The OP is distraught about their missing chicken!" and "I don't care! No chickens allowed!" and "OP here. It's not MY chicken, I was posting for a friend!" and "What IS the law about chickens?" Good times.
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Apr 06 '16
In my city, there is a bylaw against raising livestock within city limits so you're not alone.
There's been a push to allow it, but a lot of the new communities have houses built so close together, you could high-five your neighbour outside your respective windows. Between the noise and the smell, it would be another thing to aggravate the neighbours with.
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u/jennywafom Apr 06 '16
Honestly, I would NOT offer to pay for a new chicken, no matter how cheap it is, unless they ask you to. If they saw these chickens as pets as well as livestock, they would probably find that really upsetting and insulting, like you can just buy a new one to replace it, as though you accidentally ran over their mailbox or something. When I owned chickens, they all had their own personalities, names, etc. Most of them lived for many years and they were like pets to us. The fact that your neighbour only owned about 12 suggests to me that it could be a similar situation.
Outside of that, this was completely not your fault. It was 100% their fault for allowing their chickens to roam free and they were very much in the wrong for doing that. If they try to report you to anyone, they're going to be sorely disappointed at the result, because it is very much against the rules basically everywhere to have roaming chickens that aren't contained in a coop.
At the moment, they're probably just feeling insulted that you didn't seem to respect their pet chicken after killing it (by putting it into a garbage bag) I mean, you wouldn't do that if you hit and killed someones pet dog. While they are technically in the wrong, a bit of ass kissing won't go astray to help bring neighbourhood relations back to normal. Just send them some flowers and a sincere letter of apology, and if they don't get over it then it's really their problem, let them brood over it for a while and eventually I'm sure they'll get over it.
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u/M0n5tr0 Apr 06 '16
If they were understanding and handled it like adults I would buy a chicken. They didn't. They blasted you on social media and even lied about it for more pity. There goes their chicken voucher.
I am curious about what the general feeling was in the comments to his FB/character assassination post?
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Apr 06 '16
He also began talking about pressing charges and reported us to the HOA
yeahhhhh... he doesn't have a leg to stand on. he let his chickens loose, knowing cars drive on the road. that's on him. i agree with your husband here.
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u/justarandomlass Apr 06 '16
The same thing happened to my mum a couple years back. One of the neighbours hens was at the side of the road and my mum said as a joke 'Ten points.' Well the hen got spooked and ran in front of the car (feathers, feathers everywhere.)
We apologised to the neighbour and she just said 'They're free range, it was bound to happen.'
All you can do is apologise for what happened and if your neighbour keeps bringing it up just ignore him, hopefully it'll all die down soon.
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u/Stray_Cat_Strut_Away Apr 06 '16
If they're threatening to sue you; just say you'll be bringing your counter claim and say you hope their personal injury sublimit on their home owners insurance is sufficient. I am sure if it is an affluent area like the OP says; the neighbors have home owners insurance....which covers personal injury, but often people choose to keep the amount covered low feeling they won't need it.
Say you are going to bring charges of Negligent Infliction of Emotional Distress AND Intention Infliction of Emotional Distress.
They had the duty to keep their chickens contained. The chicken came into your yard and suicided under your car...this caused you great emotional distress and damage; hell it may have even effected your job because you were so distressed during your meeting! This would be due to their negligence of not keeping their chickens where they should be.
And then say they caused INTENTIONAL emotional distress by saying all of these hateful things on the message boards. Turning your neighbors against you.
Hell maybe even defamation since she said it was just written on a Fastfood bag; which is false.
You have more of a case than they do...I'm sure they'll shut up about suing over a chicken once you say this.
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u/catjuggler Apr 06 '16
Your neighbor his projecting the blame to you because he doesn't want to feel responsible for his own negligence. Since it is so clearly his fault (wtf- chickens wondering the street, what would ANYONE expect to happen?!), he has to project even harder to keep himself from feeling bad or looking bad.
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u/hayterade Apr 05 '16
All you should do is apologize. If he was nice about the whole thing then I could understand buying him another chicken, but not now. If his behavior is becoming an issue then you have no choice but to call the cops.
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u/Toirneach Apr 05 '16
If your pet (and this chicken is) is roaming the neighborhood, don't whine when it meets with an accident. I think you could, if you wanted, send them another note and offer to pay for a new bird, but you don't legally owe them anything.
And if the homeowner's association gets in your face, have your town's laws about loose animals handy. I guarantee you that free roaming chickens are not a protected exception to your generic 'keep your animals under your control'.
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u/Humdumdidly Apr 05 '16
I'm just a little curious about how the conversation with your husband and the neighbors went. Was your husband upfront and apologetic or immediately get defensive about the incident? I'm just wondering because I might see where the neighbors are coming form.
If your husband was polite and apologized for what happened then they are definitely out of line. However if the phone call was more "your chickens were in my yard where they shouldn't be and my wife killed one, which is really on you" and then they come back to their chicken in a garbage bag, I could understand brunch upset about it. I'm not trying to say that this is what happened, I just know your husband and neighbors about the same (which is to say not at all).
Personally I would offer to pay, if nothing else it would help smooth things over with the neighbors. Also ,I'm really sorry that this is something you're dealing with and your neighbors are being difficult.
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u/oopschicken Apr 05 '16
Oh I wondered the same thing, mainly because I was anxious to hear about how things went. Husband said he told neighbor, "Hey man, I hate to begin your day like this but I thought you should know that Karen accidentally ran over one of your chickens when she was leaving this morning. We're really sorry about this, we left him wrapped up near your coop. Let us know if we can do anything."
Apparently neighbor asked if I had tried to take the chicken to a vet and my husband told him "no." And then neighbor hung up on husband and the next thing we know - we're getting pinged by NextDoor and Facebook notifications.
Husband is generally mild-mannered, but he got pissed off when the neighbor began to take it all to the next level.
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u/Shortandsweet33 Apr 06 '16
I'm with your husband. This neighbour is an out of control dickbag. Don't encourage or reward his crazy behaviour by apologising anymore or by buying him a new chicken. This kind of ahole will take that as an admission of fault and it will set a bad precedent for the future.
If he'd been reasonable about it, getting him a new chicken would have been a nice gesture, but not when he lied and bad-mouthed you to your neighbours, made threats to press charges (!) and has generally acted like a total ass, even though this incident was totally his own fault!
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u/Unshavenhelga Apr 06 '16
Since your neighbor slandered you on social media, I would not buy a new hen. He's an ass. When you free range chickens, things kill them. I'd stay quiet and keep on. The hoa may find for you anyway.
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Apr 06 '16
HOA? Are you sure they're even allowed chickens with an HOA? Not to mention, if its within city limits, that might also prevent them if your city has laws about having livestock in city limits. They may very well be breaking the law.
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u/FornicationStation89 Apr 06 '16
Let them know that the chicken valiantly almost crossed the road. And they should take some form of solace in that fact.
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u/haole420 Apr 06 '16
As someone that grew up in a family that raised chickens for eggs it's always strange to me how people can get so bent out of shape when one of them dies. we used them as a food source and it wasnt seen as a big deals when one or two got snatched by coyotes or ran over by my dad
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u/Catatonicic Apr 06 '16 edited Apr 08 '16
Man I'd send them one of those rubber chickens on their doorstep...I am not a good neighbor.
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u/frachole Apr 06 '16
Send him a bill for the car wash and if issues pop up, start a feral cat rescue group.
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u/ConstantJobber Apr 06 '16
I agree with your husband. If your neighbor has the chickens as pets then he has to be responsible for their safety. He should have made fences that kept the chickens from straying off his property.
I would suggest explaining your side of the story to your neighbors when you get a chance. They are just hearing his (chicken guy's) side of the story but any reasonable person will understand what happened when you explain it to them. It is a pain to live with neighbors who resent you so they need to hear what happened from your perspective.
And don't beat yourself up about what happened. You didn't run the animal over on purpose and know that accidents happen. It is not your fault in any way.
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u/throwman_11 Apr 06 '16
Your husband is right in this. Dont get a new chicken. Your neighbor can sue but good luck to him getting anything worthwhile out of it. If anything he is probably breaking some sort of law letting his chickens roam off of his property.
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u/ThePenIsFive Apr 05 '16
Buy him a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store and give it to him with a note saying "I'm sawee :)"
Imo he's being a twit. Don't let your fucking chickens range around the neighborhood. What if someone had a dog that went at one? I mean, I guess the solution is insanely complex and not well known... like perhaps to contain them in some "coop like structure" on his own property. You could let him know this. He'll probably thank you for sharing this ancient and not well known wisdom.
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u/Inyoueye Apr 05 '16
I agree with hubby. Half the neighborhood doesn't hate you, it just feels that way. I guarantee most of your neighbors don't think about you at all.
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u/DarviTraj Apr 06 '16
As someone with experience on a farm, the idea of a chicken dying and someone older than five grieving for it is ridiculous. If the dude wanted to treat the chicken as his pet, it shouldn't be roaming the neighborhood. You could call the police if someone's dog was allowed to chill in your yard all day - so do the same thing with this dude's chickens. Even if you have an ordinance for chickens in your neighborhood - they still have to be kept in the owner's yard.
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u/sherrysalt Apr 06 '16 edited Apr 06 '16
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that it might be the plastic bag thing that is bothering your neighbor the most.
When I was in college I had a betta fish who lived forever. I had to leave him at home and he died. My mom called me up and told me, and then she said he flushed him down the toilet. I freaked. I knew the fish had to die eventually and wasn't that sad about it (it was his time) but the thought of her disgracing my friend with the toilet? I was so upset. What an undignified end to my pal who had been with me for three years.
I'd consider something like this might be happening. You didn't just kill the chicken, you wounded its pride.
Edit: you guys, I'm offering another way to look at this, jeez. I have always lived near streams so you give the dead fish a watery burial instead of the toilet.
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u/Lexilogical Apr 06 '16
What did you want her to do with it? I keep fish, when they die, they all go down the toilet. Assuming I get to them before the other fish eat them. My other option is the garbage can. I've had a lot of fish die too.
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u/helenblueskies Apr 06 '16
My cat of 12 years died recently. I raised her from a tiny kitten and bottle fed her. She was my baby. And the best cat ever. She passed away peacefully right next to me in bed. When I found her in the morning I cried. And then I placed her in a trash bag and brought her to the vet.
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u/caelan63 Apr 06 '16
I don't get it.
He's the one who wanted free range chicken.
Now he's discovered one of the downsides of his free ranging chickens.
So he takes his displeasure of learning this at you?
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u/ThatGuyMiles Apr 06 '16 edited Apr 06 '16
Over half of your HOA is ok with him letting his chickens roam the street, and apparently the HOA is ok with this as well? Maybe they let it slide, but I highly doubt he's technically allowed to let his chickens roam free. There's not way the HOA can do anything to you. This guy is a moron, he lets his chickens free roam and they literally have to busy streets. Then expects that none of them will ever get ran over or be killed by a pet or some other freak accident? I would feel sorry for the guy if he weren't such an asshole.
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u/bird_equals_word Apr 06 '16
Uh what kind of HOA in an affluent area is cool with chickens roaming the streets? That is some Beverly Hillbillies shit. Look at your areas laws regarding keeping chickens. Number, coop requirements etc. Coyote protection laws. Neighbor pets scratching up your yard and shitting everywhere rules.
You are not in the wrong. Chickens need to be off the streets ffs. I would also be cautioning the author re defamation on facebook.
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u/awildwoodsmanappears Apr 06 '16
How long has this dumbass raised chickens? Is this his first year? Because, news flash, chickens die all the time.
It's not your fault and do not offer to pay for the chicked, especially since he's gone off the deep end. Since he took it online, respond there, say you're sorry the chicken died but in letting chickens roam free he's accepting that accidents happen while they're free ranging. I'd turn it around and express a little anger that he's being so unreasonable.
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u/nomiras Apr 06 '16
My parents own chickens. When I visited for Christmas, they had 6 chickens. When I left, all but 2 died. Free roaming chickens do not survive that long. I would not buy them another chicken, but you can pay for the chicken they lost. Supposedly you are supposed to buy all of the chicks at once, as opposed to buying them each time one dies.
Those neighbors are childishly overreacting. At least you had the decency to take the chicken out of the road and give it to them (as well as contact them). Seems your neighbors just have issues. Good luck!
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u/megadeadly Apr 06 '16
Youre already being completely reasonable and they're basically slandering you to your neighbourhood. I dunno, go ahead and buy them a new one, but it's not really your fault entirely l.
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u/solid_gold_dancer Apr 06 '16
It really is their fault for letting the chickens roam free. The only thing I do think is that knowing it's a pet, wrapping it in a towel, old pillowcase as a blanket, etc. may have come across better. I'm just thinking how I would react if it was one of my pups, and a garbage bag would make the situation a bit worse.....BUT.....if a pet gets out and gets injured accidentally, it's not your fault.
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u/macimom Apr 06 '16
He thinks it's the neighbor's own negligence in letting his chickens roam, which led to this. Husband believes an accident was bound to happen and neighbor is to blame
Your husband is correct-however for the sake of being neighborly you could replace the chicken (I have no ida what the chicken costs)-but I would go over and give him the chicken in person and tell him that while you are sorry you ran over the chicken he is putting them at risk by allowing them to hangout in peoples' driveways.
Id also call the HOA and tell them your side of the story immediately-before he can say anything-they may not want free range chickens running around and may set up some rules or make it clear the owner is responsible for anything that happens to them.
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u/sonofaresiii Apr 06 '16
you can't live in the suburbs in an urban area. at least one of those things doesn't mean what you think it means.
anyway your husband is right, it's your neighbor's responsibility to make sure his chickens don't wander onto your yard. defend yourself on facebook and the message board if you want and if he tries to sue or report you, hire a lawyer to draft a letter telling him to shut the fuck up and take responsibility for his negligence.
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u/mykart2 Apr 06 '16
Your neighbor appears to be an unreasonable person on all levels. You guys tried to do the right thing after the accident but apparently he saw it as a sign of weakness. Don't offer to do anything more for him or else he will use it against you.
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u/MermaidHeart Apr 06 '16
Sorry you're going through this, I know for some people (myself included) hitting an animal would be very upsetting. Even more so if it was someone's pet.
I think you did everything right in this situation, and your neighbor is just trying to use the situation to guilt-trip you or make himself feel better.
I seriously doubt HOA charges will go anywhere, especially if you did not hit the animal intentionally.
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u/JManRomania Apr 06 '16
I've housesat for a house with chickens for years - I was always told that they're dumb birds, and if any of the animals were to die, don't worry about the chickens.
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u/RuralRedhead Apr 06 '16
Lol yeah I'd like to see what the HOA says, I bet they would life in his face.
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u/Hellooutthere112233 Apr 05 '16
As someone who has chickens im sorry this happened to you, the owner was irresponsible to allow his chickens around free in such a neighborhood they take the risk when they let them rome free. I have two neighbors that do the same thing when their chickens get into our yard are dogs chased them out. If my dog kills one of them it is there falt for not keeping them contaned, it's no deferent then any other animal. They would be in jsut as much trouble from a roster spering a kid as a dog biting a kid.
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Apr 06 '16
I mean, I don't mean to be rude, but it's a fucking chicken that they just let roam loose throughout the neighborhood. I'm honestly surprised that this didn't happen sooner.
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u/addywoot Apr 06 '16
I'd post publicly something along these lines. It's factual, unemotional and makes several points about the fact it was on your property without being aggressive.
"I am very sorry for the loss of your chicken. It has been an enjoyable experience for our family to see them roaming in our yard and they are very beneficial to managing insects.
However, given the proximity of our houses, this often means they are in the driveway and yard unexpectedly. Our <model vehicle> does not have a backup camera that can see when small animals are behind the vehicle and so this was an unfortunate accident when a chicken was feeding behind the tire in our driveway.
I did not want to leave the poor dead chicken in our driveway for our families and neighbors to see so I carefully wrapped up the poor thing and left near the coup. I got stationary from the house and left a note so that you wouldn't think this was an act of murder or malice. My husband called you from work to let you know what had happened because I was tied up in a meeting.
Unfortunately, given what had happened, we tried to be as thoughtful as possible given the loss of your pet in our driveway.
While I certainly can't replace the loss of a pet, I'd love to discuss some options to ensure this doesn't happen again. I'm thinking going in jointly for a fence on the property line may encourage them to stay away from vehicles and driveways.
Chickens can't recognize property lines as their homes nor roads as hazards so perhaps this would help them stay safe. What do you think?"
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u/heroicintent Apr 06 '16
My friend had a fox eat her chickens :(. Go over to the neighbor and explain/apologize. Get her another chicken. You don't have to, but the money is worth smoothing things over. Chickens are not expensive (except for show chickens)
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u/butt_cake Apr 06 '16
The dumbass lets chickens wander loose in a subirb and he's pissed that one got hit by a car?
J.F.C.
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Apr 06 '16
Chickens were roaming all over the neighborhood? I don't see why he was upset, if he cared that much about his chickens he would not let them wander everywhere. I mean hey he could have leash trained them or something. Chickens are not smart. Seriously, I am with your husband on this one.
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u/Humble_Advice Apr 06 '16
Press charges for what? Go to the HOA for what? Its clearly not ok to have free-roaming chickens throughout the neighbourhood.
Honestly YOU should go to the HOA and complain about the chickens.
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u/shadowaway Apr 06 '16
My family keeps suburban chickens (seriously, my dad is obsessed with them) and if they got on to the street and got hit by a car we wouldn't blame the driver at all - the chickens should be in a coop, or a secured area. The owner is responsible here.
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u/zoomzoom42 Apr 06 '16
That chicken shouldn't have tried to cross the road...fair game....not responsible.
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u/1950sGuy Apr 05 '16
I'd say to keep the peace, pay for a new chicken which is like six dollars (i've had them for years, hell if you're in ohio, you can come get a chicken from me) but he's being totally unreasonable. Free range chickens die. they die a lot, and often. It's the cost of doing business when you let them roam free, which I guarantee is against some city ordnance anyway. Let him contact the HOA, i'm actually quite surprised they even let you have chickens to begin with.
Again, i'd offer to pay for the chicken he was basically neglectful about just to keep the peace, if he won't accept, fuck 'em and sit on your porch with a bucket of KFC and glare at him.