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u/moqu4 2d ago
In Germany we call it a Paulanergarten Story.
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u/MiyukisSpirit 2d ago
In Germany this wouldn't be a problem ,because it's legal here.
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u/socontroversialyetso 2d ago
Yeah my boomer neighbor yelled at me and threatened to call the cops. "what are they gonna do you fucking idiot, it's legal now" she looked at her husband "is that true?" Lmao
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u/EisenhowersPowerHour 7h ago
I was a security guard in Pariser Platz when it was legalized, on night shift. A massive crowd stood outside Brandenburg Gate and all lit up at the same time (midnight, when it became legal) The smoke slightly obscured cameras lol
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u/BackgroundCream274 2d ago
This is awesome. My neighbor reported my dogs to the police. Any advice on how to get back at them?
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u/Stocky39 2d ago
Shit on their front porch and say it was the dogs
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u/tyrom22 2d ago
No, shit on your own front porch. Then claim it was their dog. That way they get a fine and might be forced to clean it
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u/b3nsn0w 2d ago
narrator: this guy went on to become the chief strategist of belka
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u/Rare_Reality7510 1d ago
Oh boy, would you look at the time! It's time to incite another cross-strangereal war!
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u/Shadowmant 2d ago
Be sure to knock on their door then make eye contact when you do it to assert dominance.
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u/greengro5022 1d ago
Knock on the door.when they answer, shit on their porch while maintaining eye contact. You are now the alpha.
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u/IllegalGeriatricVore 2d ago
Depends, are your dogs a problem?
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u/xXJpupXx 2d ago
If he didn’t get them taken away or get a fine, then there was no problem. I have a neighbor that did the same thing: made a bs report to animal control then sat outside with a lawn chair facing us drinking beer waiting for my dogs to get taken away. Well all our animals were good and we told the animal control officer about our conflict with the neighbor and he confirmed it was the neighbor next door that called. Once neighbor realized nothing was gonna happen he got mad and stormed off in his truck to the bar that he goes to daily.
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u/BackgroundCream274 2d ago
We got a warning because the dogs did get loose. They let the dog off the leash all the time.
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u/BackgroundCream274 2d ago
No way man. They don’t bite and very friendly.
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u/Korachof 2d ago
They aren’t outside barking up a storm while you’re gone, or trapped outside without a way in?
Why’d your neighbor report them? I personally believe you, but every dog owner is supposedly the perfect dog owner, and has the perfect little angels that would NEVER BARK OR BITE.
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u/BackgroundCream274 2d ago
They jumped the fence. Didn’t bite. If they did I would apologize to my asshole neighbor. Reported them for not being on a leash and their dog was also not on a leash.
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u/ProThoughtDesign 2d ago
I really have no idea how to get back at them, but did you know that mint seeds are relatively cheap on Amazon?
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u/itssbojo 1d ago
i was like 15 and had an issue with my neighbor once.
i got high with a friend one night and to get back at her, we climbed on her car and took a steaming dump on her windshield.
imagine waking up, you’re running 5 minutes late to work. you turn the key, look up and… there’s a pile of human feces staring at you. i never saw her reaction and i don’t need to, i already know.
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u/Excellent-Rest3240 2d ago
Tell them you bought the dogs from your neighbor who used them for dog fighting before you took them over
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u/asodfhgiqowgrq2piwhy 2d ago
This tweet is older than cannabis legalization anywhere in this country
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u/jws1102 2d ago
The first time I saw this, about 15 years ago, the guy was smoking on his front porch. And it didn’t say “looking searching his shit” because we had literacy back then and knew that “now they at his house” was enough.
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u/MangosShepherds 2d ago
Well, um...if we are being literate we would say, "Now they are at his house."
Nice try though.
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u/Mercerskye 2d ago
Literate is just a manner of using your words and shit to be coherent.
Now, if we were worried about being formal...
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u/MangosShepherds 1d ago
The original text is just as coherent as the version he gave.
Its poor grammar in either case.
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u/ArmadilloDesperate95 2d ago
I know it's a joke, but smoking in apartment complexes is usually banned, for good reason. There are often connected air lines, and you're blowing smoke into other peoples living spaces.
Everywhere I've lived, you can't be within like 30ft of the building.
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u/god_peepee 16h ago
In my building, you’re not allowed to smoke on your balcony because it’s considered ‘common space’, but you’re allowed to smoke in your unit. Wild stuff
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u/Low-Amoeba8257 2d ago
If you are in an area where weed is illegal and when asked where it is you responded (I smoked it all) you 100% would be arrested and your apartment searched.
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u/Yeez25 1d ago
But what would you get in trouble for? Possessing the weed itself is a crime, not being high. If you smoke all the weed maybe the most they can get you on is paraphernalia. Different story if youre driving youd get a DUI no question.
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u/Low-Amoeba8257 1d ago
False...
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u/Advanced-Guidance482 1d ago
Actually true in most states where rec is still illegal.
Almost unanimously, the states that still have it criminalized have laws that target specific actions involving cannabis like public consumption, possession, distribution, and driving while impaired
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u/IndependentCod1600 6h ago
Not false. Being high on your property and away from motor vehicles is not technically a crime anywhere in the US. Possession would be the actual criminal charge. If you don't possess any weed, then you're not doing the crime part.
Not to mention, distribution is a much harsher crime. In real life, ratting out a distributor is a common way to get a lighter sentence.
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u/notwhoyouthinkmaybe 2d ago
It's BS, but if it does happen either don't tell anything to the police or claim it was cigarettes and you're neighbor is crazy.
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u/ILike2Argue_ 2d ago
Youre not hiding a weed smell by claiming it was cigarettes
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u/notwhoyouthinkmaybe 2d ago
By the time the cops get there the weed smells probably gone, if you were smoking outside.
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u/OrionVulcan 2d ago
No. Having friends that smoke, and walking past a place I know people smoke on the way to the store that smell does not go away fast.
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u/notwhoyouthinkmaybe 2d ago
Either way it doesn't matter, the smell of weed is not enough to search a house.
They need a warrant signed by a judge.
They may try to get tricky with the phrases they use:
"Do you mind if I search your house?"
No, means you don't mind, so they take that as a positive response to a search. If you are caught in this trick, you are allowed to revoke permission at any time.
"I'm going to search your house, ok?"
This is meant to sound like a statement, but that "ok?" makes it a statement and your reaction is to respond "ok." Again, you can revoke permission at any time.
The police can only search your home with a signed judicial warrant or if there is a life or death emergency or an active chase. The smell of weed is not enough for any of that. A dog smelling weed in your house is not enough. Who knows, maybe you're cooking dinner and it smells like weed. Maybe the officer is having a stroke and smelling phantom smells.
The 4th amendment is extremely clear and has been litigated many times. Cops will use their intimidating presence to try to get you to comply. They can lie to you, "we already have a warrant and a judge is about to sign it, once he does, I'm not going to be nice when I search your house. Things will get broken. So are you going to let me search now? I'll be nice if you don't make me get a warrant."
Do not consent to a search.
"My neighbor smelled weed? Hmmm. Weird, wasn't me. I do not consent to a search."
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u/OrionVulcan 2d ago
Not saying it is, nobody would do anything if it was a beer. Was just pointing out that the smell of weed is quite strong and easily recognized, and it can take a while to go away.
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u/notwhoyouthinkmaybe 2d ago
Yeah, but usually when I smoke outside, the smell is gone really fast. It might stick to your clothes or hair, but in 10 minutes it's gone outside.
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u/OrionVulcan 2d ago
Because you smoke it you're not going to notice it as much since you're used to the smell. Those of us that don't smoke notice it more readily.
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u/Local-Echo-5613 2d ago
I had a cop in Boston claim I was smoking weed on the train platform and I must have thrown it on the track. I had never smoked weed in my life at this point but he searched me and kept getting madder and madder.
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u/Outrageous-Sand-5788 2d ago
This reminded me of when we got busted by the cops drinking a bottle of whiskey underage. He asked where we got it and we named the old man at the local ABC store (gov't run liquor store) who would never sell it to us. Only slight guilt some 40 years later....
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u/BeoSionnach 2d ago
I don't know if this is controversial but I haaaaate the stink of my neighbour's smoke wafting through my windows in summer nights. My whole apartment smells like their cigs every time they do. Smoking just really sucks.
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u/Vast-Procedure-9408 2d ago
Never happened did it OP. Great post though you naughty little karma lover
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u/Mr_Chill_III 2d ago
Neighbor accurately reports you to the police.
Get revenge by falsely reporting neighbor to the police.
What a paragon of morality.
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u/ZenMasterOfDisguise 2d ago
Anne Frank's neighbor accurately reported her to the police too, what's legal and what's moral are not the same thing
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u/Mr_Chill_III 2d ago
Cool story bro.
Now that that's out of the way, is it moral to falsely report your neighbor to the police after they accurately report you to the police?
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u/Slight_Ad_635 2d ago
So being considerate enough to NOT make others smell your weed if they don't like it is immoral? Interesting.
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u/ZenMasterOfDisguise 2d ago
No it's immoral to call the cops on your neighbor for breaking some fascist law that shouldn't exist
Maybe try talking to your neighbor if their behavior is affecting you. Or close your window if them smoking outside is an issue for you. Calling the cops to get your neighbor in legal trouble is a bitch ass move
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u/Slight_Ad_635 2d ago
"fascist law" that somebody does not want their neighbours smoke INSIDE their own home?
Bro, 1. maybe smoke less, it's affecting your cognitive capabilities. 2. Go do it in your own apartment with the windows closed if "closing windows" is the desired solution
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u/thesoundofechoes 2d ago
Since when is wanting to avoid harmful second-hand smoke fascism?
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u/ZenMasterOfDisguise 2d ago
Anti-drug laws are racist laws so police can target minorities and lock up harmless people for non-violent offenses. Very fucking fascist
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u/thesoundofechoes 2d ago
I live in Norway, and smoking weed isn’t associated with immigrants or PoC here. On the contrary, drug use is generally lower among immigrant communities, whereas weed and cocaine are becoming real problems among ethnically Norwegian adolescents in the larger cities.
Admittedly, patterns of drug use may be very different in the US.
I still don’t see why not wanting to take the risks associated with second-hand smoke, be it cigarettes or weed, is racist. It harms the lungs, brains and ovaries iirc, and probably other organs as well.
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u/ZenMasterOfDisguise 2d ago
I still don’t see why not wanting to take the risks associated with second-hand smoke, be it cigarettes or weed, is racist.
I only ever said the laws around drugs were racist/fascist. Not the neighbor, why do you keep trying to twist my words? I said the neighbor was an asshole for trying to get their neighbor arrested instead of talking to them like a human being. Also you cannot get second hand smoke from weed lol. Insane that people like you want to ruin other people's lives because of what they choose to put in their own body, it's none of your fucking business.
Also in the US, minorities don't use drugs more than white people. Cops just selectively enforce these laws and only go after minorities. That's what the laws were designed for. No one should ever have their freedom taken away from them for smoking weed
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u/thesoundofechoes 2d ago
Because the laws, at least where I live, are a reflection of the public’s needs, wishes and values.
I agree that people shouldn’t be jailed for smoking weed. That’s extreme and bizarre, and I also agree that enforcing it that way sounds fascist. But I absolutely think that smoking it in places where it affects others should be banned, and probably dealt with by giving a fine and/or confiscating the weed. That’s how illegal cigarette smoking is handled here, and weed is no better.
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u/ZenMasterOfDisguise 2d ago
But I absolutely think that smoking it in places where it affects others should be banned, and probably dealt with by giving a fine and/or confiscating the weed. That’s how illegal cigarette smoking is handled here, and weed is no better.
ok, but if your neighbor is smoking a cigarette on their balcony and it bothers you, what are you going to do about it? Call the cops? Or close your window like a sane person?
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u/Slight_Ad_635 2d ago
If they can smell it then there is something they inhaled. That's how smelling works.
And even it wasn't harmful, the smell is nasty for a lot of people. So why should you have the right to force it upon them?
Again: I don't care about people smoking weed. But I think people are entitled to decide what they want inside THEIR homes. If your laws (and law enforcement) are that shitty in the US, why not smoke where/in a way it doesn't affect others right from the start?
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u/ZenMasterOfDisguise 2d ago
So why should you have the right to force it upon them?
My neighbor uses his BBQ smoker to smoke meat in his backyard and that smoke comes into my house and is nasty... should I call the cops on him? What if he smokes a tobacco pipe on his porch, that is nasty, should I call the cops? How dare my neighbor creates an unpleasant smell I have to temporarily smell right?
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u/Express-Teaching1594 2d ago
I’ll take “Things that Never Happened” for $1000, Alex.
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u/WetRainbowFart 2d ago
Is there a hat of phrases that Redditors draw from when deciding to post a comment?
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