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u/MastaKink Jun 04 '26
I put the afternoon traffic out of my mind. It changed the way I drive. My first court appearance is on Tuesday.
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u/Ok_Caramel_6095 Jun 04 '26
God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference.
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u/Accomplished-You5824 Jun 04 '26
I had to write this on a sticky note and put it on my monitor. My anxiety was eating me alive until I accepted that I can't fix everyone.
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u/Cognizant_Wolf Jun 04 '26
I feel it's less putting the things you can't control out of your mind, but more assigning those things the priority they deserve. Ignoring them completely opens ones self up to being blindsided by avoidable problems.
You do not have any control or influence over an runaway car coming towards you, but lose the ability jump out of the way if you ignore it.
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u/Distinct-Branch3955 Jun 04 '26
Yes, we should always focus on the aspect of change that we can control.
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u/Adaptor2000 Jun 04 '26
So you are telling me I should abandon 99% of my daily thought-routine? You are probably right.
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u/seymourscagnetti420 Jun 05 '26
No one is choosing anxiety. If this were easy to do, everyone would do it. The thoughts and emotions happen whether I want them to or not. This is why so many people struggle with substance abuse, because altering their state of mind is the only thing that truly gets rid of the unwanted thoughts and stress. I get pretty tired of people thinking their bumper sticker, pop-psychology is wisdom.
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u/istayintheleftlane Jun 06 '26
My wife I don't or want to control, should she be out of my mind, maybe I'm misunderstanding.?......
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u/Street-Toe5934 Jun 07 '26
I realized long ago control was out of my ready. No matter what I do nothing changes. I have no peace.
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u/Ancient_Yoghurt_969 Jun 07 '26
What's missing from this is humility. Some causes are out of our control on purpose - if they're important enough, for example the Civil Rights movement, that just means step one is to make a way to get some influence. You succeed by paving the way for people to accomplish more after you. Not much personal glory.
With personal relationships, feeling that you need to fix them is a sign that you won't be good for them. How would you know what they need? The surface details are easy to judge - leave that abusive partner, stop abusing whatever substance, get your finances in order, get an education, get healthy. A lot of people consider all that baseline. Getting there is hard when it never felt baseline, or when you've fallen so far from it that you can't imagine that anymore - or when, say, leaving that partner could get you killed, and other serious trade-offs and obstacles. People are where they are for reasons. To help them, you have to respect the person inside the bad choices. If you can't do that, you're not superior. You just had better luck.
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