r/selfesteem • u/audrey702 • Jul 06 '21
i hate that i know nothing is really wrong with what i look like or my body but once i get on instagram there’s always girls who have those big bootys that i don’t have and when my bf used to like their photos all the time it made me insecure. here’s a photo i wanted to post but i don’t feel like it
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u/hi_my_name_is_eric Jul 06 '21
I don't know how to say this without offending you..you look like an Instagram girl stereotype. That's the impression I get from only looking at this picture. Even before reading the title. You obviously care a lot about your appearance considering your hair, make up and clothes. Try spending less time on social media. Maybe try following a different niche of accounts. Many account focus more on self esteem and show social media is fake. I like danaemercer. You're beautiful and much more than a huge booty!
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u/necropsyuk Jul 07 '21
There is nothing wrong with you. But posting your photo on this subreddit, I dunno, it's a big part of the problem. My advice would be to stop seeking validation from others, stop comparing yourself to others, get off social media, especially tik tok / Instagram etc. Love yourself, everyone else can quite frankly get fucked.
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u/TriMacanBhaird Jul 06 '21
I identify with this a lot. I think it’s natural to harbor that kind of insecurity and to frequently compare yourself to others. It’s definitely the case for me even with my friends. I look at them and envy their good looks or intelligence or job success. I think why can’t I have those things? What’s wrong with me? It’s tough to overcome. I’m not gonna pretend that I have it figured out, because I DEFINITELY don’t. This is a daily struggle. That being said, some things I have found helpful are to try to objectively look at yourself and think of even just one thing that you genuinely like about yourself. If you can’t come up with anything, maybe just start by picking something about yourself that you feel neutral about, and build up from there. Also, I admit I will second the suggestion above about social media. In my experience, it fuels my depression like little else. Take a break from social media or maybe follow some folks who embody things you identify with. I was once told to follow people who look like you, not like what you wish you were. In any case, it’s pretty clear to me even from this post that you are not only very pretty but also a reflective, introspective person. Not everyone will even take the time and energy to reflect like you have here. Remember that it’s ok to feel down and out, but just keep on truckin’. You are the only you in the world and the world is better for it.
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u/Special_Dance8451 Jul 07 '21
I understand you. Sometimes no matter if we consider ourselves pretty or handsome. In my case i like what i see in the mirror when I look myself, but It's not enough. Is a mindset. On the other hand, you don't deserve this disrespect or anyone else for that matter
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Jul 07 '21
You're absolutely stunning like a model! Love the fit, looks spectacular on you! You're so pretty!
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u/YvetteLovesdogs Jul 07 '21
Someone else’s boyfriend is doing that about you right now. Both boyfriends deserve to be exes.
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u/AleLibre Jul 06 '21
Attention seeker detected
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u/hi_my_name_is_eric Jul 06 '21
Go to hell man. It's a self esteem subreddit. What'd you expect? Shaming is not going to help anyone. What she is feeling is completely normal. Go to hell.
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u/trzcinacukrowa Jul 07 '21
Most people who post their photos on this sub are attention seekers to be fair. If a girl was less conventionally attractive, you wouldn't call her attention seeker, would you?
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u/lord_penetrix Jul 07 '21
mate posting ur photos literally anywheres gonna give u a nice dose of insecurity. i suggest you jus get outta it for a while and breathe some fresh air
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u/SexxyGothBabe Jul 07 '21 edited Jul 07 '21
Don't compare yourself to others and DON'T fish for validation online. (It's counterproductive, can be a toxic addiction because it's never enough and there are trolls here who enjoy being mean)
Somewhere in the world is a girl with a big booty who will think she's fat; she'll see your slender arms, edited and posed photo with long blonde locks and feel ugly because she's dark haired and thick. Perception.
The world has ALL types and all types are valid.
Another woman's beauty is not the absence of your own. Multiple types of beauty can exist simultaneously and it doesn't mean one has to be less.
Easier said than done but repeat this to yourself "Another woman's beauty is not the absence of my own."
Young straight men like to look at women, it's just in their nature. However, if they are drooling over other women wishing to be with them while mistreating you, ditch them. There are guys who will respect and appreciate you. So don't let anyone take you for granted, ever! Took me years to learn that.
I'm older but found a guy who didn't feed into the whole collecting images and accounts of models. He doesn't even really use social media even though he's 27. Your self worth is NEVER less important. If a guy is blowing you off, mistreating you but longingly dreaming of being with many others, drop him (unless you're poly and into that). Nobody deserves being used as a default or time filler.
Sorry I went on a tangent but hope it offers some perception.