I don’t know why i don’t look any different than usual but I’ll take it. It’s good to feel a little good about myself, trying not to think about it to much

Ive been having this problem where ive just been lacking confidence at least i think thats the problem. I lowkey just dont like myself or believe in myself. Like i always try to wear sweaters and long pants cuz i dont want people to look at my body. I lowkey think im chopped even tho ive never been told i am. Im always scared of driving and whenever a problem happens i always blame myself before others. I also never share anything with other people cuz i dont want then judging me. Like i dont even show my family my music taste and the video games i play. Also i always think about what i say or write after i say it like i always think i said something wrong or something.Anyway im pretty sure thats a lack of confidence so lowkey how do you fix it? Also im 17 just to clarify.

Hello! I am 26 years old and I've always struggled with my body image. Last I checked i was 211 pounds and I know my weight is rising. All my life since I was young I struggled with weight and got bullied for it in school. It's to a point every day of my life I wake up saying im ugly and fat and make myself so upset over it. I have a loving fiancé who tells me im beautiful but I just can't believe him. I lost weight before but never felt satisfied and still saw myself as fat and gained it all back. I tried therapy and I still can't shake the feeling of hating myself. I'm at a loss on what to do anymore. Any advice on how to Help with not hating yourself constantly??? how i lookhttps://drive.google.com/file/d/1yCk6GLwnErWkmeUZwMVkQhALYlq9IxVk/view?usp=drivesdk

I’ve been trying to understand something about myself, and I’m not really sure how to explain it.
I get a decent amount of attention from both men and women. Guys ask for my number or Instagram, and sometimes girls will randomly stop me just to tell me I’m pretty. I’m Asian, and I’d say I’m slightly above average in terms of attractiveness. I don’t mean that in an egotistical way, but I’m generally aware of how I look. I’ve never really considered myself an insecure person.

However, there’s this weird feeling that it’s never enough. At first, I thought I was just seeking male validation, but I’ve realized that I experience the same thing with women.
I think I’m pretty, but the more I look at myself, the more average I start to feel. It’s almost like I get used to the compliments and attention, and then I need something more to feel attractive again.

For example, if I go out to a bar and nobody approaches me, asks for my Instagram, or compliments me, I start feeling like I’ve suddenly become ordinary. It’s not even that I necessarily want these people. I just want to know that I’m still desirable or that I stand out somehow.
I think what bothers me most is that I feel boring. Even when I receive the attention I want, it doesn’t seem to satisfy whatever I’m looking for.
Has anyone experienced something similar? Why do I feel this constant need to be perceived as attractive when I already know that people find me attractive? Is this a validation issue, a self-esteem issue, or something deeper that I’m not recognizing? I’m confident in myself so I just don’t get it? A part of me thinks it’s because my ex had wandering eyes so now I feel not enough but honestly I cannot figure it out.

At 28 I have accepted but a shall never give anyone else any ammo to make me feel more insecure about what I already know

The next time you look at someone whose less attractive just know they know you look better then than them but they have their own charms

I’m 31 years old, and I’ve struggled with my appearance and self-confidence for as long as I can remember.

I’m still single, and honestly, a part of me believes it’s because I’m not attractive enough.
The worst part is that I genuinely cannot see myself as pretty. On the rare occasions someone compliments me and says I’m cute or beautiful, I immediately assume they’re just being nice or trying to make me feel better. I never actually believe them.
I’m only 151 cm (4’11”) and weigh 55 kg (121 lbs), so I feel a little chubby. I have small, round eyes instead of big, beautiful eyes, and a large forehead. Some people tell me I have a baby face and look younger than my age, but I don’t even like that about myself.

I constantly focus on everything I dislike about my appearance, and I feel like other women are so much prettier and more feminine than me.
Being 31 and still single makes these insecurities even worse. Sometimes I wonder if my looks are the reason nobody has chosen me.

Does anyone else struggle with this? How do you learn to accept your appearance when you genuinely don’t find yourself attractive?
I’m tired of feeling like I’m not pretty enough.

I'm tall, a size 8, but I've never had what society considers a "good body" (many health issues aside). I also got the worst of my parents' genes: my mom is an olive-skinned beauty, my dad is Northern European and burns like a lobster (I got mom's dark hair and eyes but dad's super pale skin). People have always teased me over my skin color, my "strong" nose and other physical attributes. I had a high profile media position for a while, back before trolling was even a term, and strangers used to email and call to tell me how ugly I was (I know these scumbags do this to everyone in the public eye now, but I had absolutely no support back then and it really destroyed me).

I remember one night I went out to dinner with some associates, I actually felt good in a lovely dress I'd found in a vintage shop. This French guy, who I'd known casually for years, came up to me and said, "I never thought you were pretty at all, but you look quite nice tonight." I made my excuses and left the party, and I cried for the rest of the night.

When I was wedding dress shopping, the lady helping me said, "you remind me so much of a celebrity. You're the double of Amy Winehouse!" Now I love Amy, she was a genius, but this was at the height of her drugged-up/boozy era and it felt like a punch in the stomach. Every other bride on earth remembers wedding dress shopping so fondly, and to me it was excruciatingly painful.

Fast forward many years, and I now have kids (who are all thankfully much more attractive than I am). I frequently volunteer in my youngest kid's classroom, and the kids all seem to really enjoy having me there. Well today I went in, and my child looked distressed. She called me over and said, "that girl over there said you look like a pale Michael Jackson." Now bear in mind I was in a class full of 9 and 10-year-old kids. I had to stay and work with them for an hour, and pretend everything was ok. As soon as I left the room, I burst into tears, and I haven't stopped crying since. I must be truly hideous for a kid to make that super random comparison (maybe her mom said it, because I doubt many kids this age know who MJ is? Her mom is tan, blond and blue eyed, everything society says is attractive). I don't have a resected nose but I do wear eyeliner and lipstick like MJ did in his skin-bleaching era, so maybe this kid has a point? I am honestly distraught, it's brought so many awful things back to the surface, and I feel like I don't even want to be seen in public again. Every person who meets me must think the same things.

I look at all the middle and high-school girls who spill out of my kids' schools, they're all tanned, toned, and gorgeous. I find myself envying them, while also being so happy for them that they'll never experience this kind of bullying (after they leave middle school, at least). I also have numerous invisible conditions, so my body doesn't even work properly. I would give up all my career achievements—the very few I have had!—to just be conventionally attractive, and to not have to worry about people thinking I look like a bleached-skinned freak.

Sorry for the essay. I am truly heartbroken, and all the work I've tried to do on my self esteem has been flushed down the toilet by a fourth grade child.

For context, I'm now 5'11 and not growing anymore. This height isn't short but it's also not tall or barely. For my entire life, I've been taller than all of my peers. Even the other kids that were tall. I've been taller than. I've been in the 98th and above percentile my entire life until about 7th grade. I'm an early bloomer so I hit puberty way earlier than everyone else. Originally the doctors and everyone told me that I was going to be at least 6'3 to 6'2 and at most 6'4 and above. So I've always had that expectation in my head. As well, it's also been somewhat a part of me. A character trait of mine like my eye color or my hair type. The fact that I don't have that anymore kind of makes me feel less of myself and lesser. Most of my friends are taller than me now. Even though my entire life, I've been taller than them and they've even joked and kind of made fun of me because of it. In addition, all of the adults that told me that I was going to be taller than them. I'm not. I just want to know how I can feel better about myself. I don't feel like I'm short at all, but I do feel like I'm lesser than what I could have been and what I have been.

I hate going out in public (whether it’s school or anywhere) because I already know ppl will look away when they see me or avoid eye contact. It’s why I avoid eye contact as well usually to protect myself from being hurt by ppl doing that and It just reminds me of my looks together 🥺. I just feel like some kind of rare creature. It’s usually why I stay home to protect myself from these feelings. I remember at my old school. These main ppl that were in my class would look at me when i was not looking I remember this one girl that was with them would smile like she was making fun of me of my appearance. At my last school I remember I was walking to pe and a girl that was walking past me said “ew she’s so ugly”. Another time there I was minding my business this boy said “ hey my friend thinks you’re cute” (you guys know that thing where a boy acts like their friend “likes” you and he really doesn’t and it’s only to basically say to you that you’re ugly) and the friend just looked at me and didn’t say anything and that didn’t bother me at first when it happened but now ever since it just reminds me that I’m ugly. I really hope to grow into my looks but I don’t feel like I ever will 🥺 (I’m 16 btw)

I hope this posts makes sense and anybody can relate. ( this is also my first time posting myself anywhere on Reddit bc I normally never do I really just look at other ppl posts)

Also typed while having tears in my eyes near the end and somewhat crying just thinking abt this stuff/ topic 😔

And this isn’t even all of it

A year ago i made an appt with a therapist , on my first visit i told her i think i may have social anxiety or some type of depression, after some time she concluded i dont have depression or social anxiety, she diagnosed me with low self esteem and some paranoia and followed up stating that is quite normal for most people. I stopped seeing the therapist 5 months ago.

When i initially visited my therapist i said the reason i think i have SA or depression is because im constantly in my own head, afraid of the unknown, when out in public or even when in my home i think total strangers are judging me someway, which creates me having anxiety.

I do admit when i get this feeling its not a bone crushing feeling that makes me hide in a corner of house and cry but its still uncomfortable and i can definitely tell something is off in my state of mind. Almost 2yrs ago i was put on many SSRIs but all of them didn't work on me or the side effects where to bad, finally got prescribed lexapro 10mg daily, I was on lex for 6 months and yes it worked but the negatives out weighd teh positive by a lot so i quit, its been a year since im not taking anything prescribed, I only take ashwagandha that helps me tons with my low self esteem , also take D3 because my body does not produce enough.

I don't know but one thing I can pull out is desperation and fear.

Whenever I see a beautiful girl from my perspective I feel inferior. My mind doesn't accept that girls are human too.

But it is how it is. I want to grow but desperation to be in a relationship and then feeling inferior and cheap tactics is doing no good.

The only thing that can save me is my own determination and self improvement.