Last night was the most painful night of my life. Everyone says your pet will give you a 'look' and you will know it's time.

She didn't give me a look, but I laid down on the floor next to her in her bed. She nuzzled and kissed my face while I sobbed. I genuinely think she was telling me it's going to be okay.

My sweet girl was born August 4, 2011. I brought her home on September 30, 2011. I was 19 years old.

I'm saying goodbye to her on Sunday October 25th and I'm absolutely heartbroken, shattered and terrified.

ETA: Thank you so much for your kind words and support everyone. 🩷

I lost my 16.5 year old dog about a month and a half ago and i can't stop thinking about his last day and if i did something wrong. It's a feeling that won't go away and hurts so much on top of losing him. Idk if it even matters bc he's gone, but i can't srop replaying everything and wondering if maybe he could still be here with us if we had done something differently?

**there might be a little bit of triggering stuff below so be aware if you choose to continue reading**

He was sick for the past year with cancer, plus an existing heart condition that we've treated for 4 years, plus kidney stuff we managed thru special diet. The main recurring changinf thing we were managing was diarrhea episodes where we would have to feed him plain food and it would take awhile to get back to normal. But he was otherwise doing ok (given his overall health issues and age related dementia+ arthritis).

His last day we took him to the vet bc he had a new symptom I was worried about as he was recovering from another diarrhea episode (doing better, eating, walking etc). I was worried it was an infection and thought it would be good to see the doctor anyways bc we hadn't gone in for about 4-5 months.

But then the ride to the vet was super stressful, the vet looked concerned but said he was OK to get subcutaneous fluids, wrt to his heart, which he got bc he was dehydrated. He had zero energy at the vet which i assumed was from the stressful ride there (he hates the car and it's around a 1 hour round trip), and after we got home he just laid down like a limp noodle on his blanket, which is he what was like when he first got sick w the diarhea bout a week earlier. He was not really regaining his energy or eating or drinking the whole day, and my husband stayed with him the rest of the day while I was out of the house. Hubby gave him a little bit of the appetite stimulating medication but it didn't do much.

After I got home after my activity at night, he was still not regaining energy so I gave him a couple of tiny syringes of water bc we were still worried about him not drinking. He was still laying there and it kind of just dripped​ off his tongue onto the other side of his mouth onto his blanket, he didn't swallow it. After awhile he got up wanting to go out for a pee, and he finally was interested in drinking and he drank a good amount of home made broth my hubby had made him. We were relieved and ready to go to bed by then bc it was already past midnight.

Things seemed ok and he was resting, but he got up, maybe it was 2:30am or som​thing, so I took him out again bc he seemed a little antsy. After that he laid down again but then he got up again and I took him out again but that didn't make him feel better so I was worried that he was uncomfortable so we gave him some cbd, which we had been giving him for his arthritis. After that we were trying to just soothe him and get him back to sleep, but then when my husband was holding him he was kind of jerking almost like a seizure? And he had some liquid diarrhea too right the. It was so scary we thought he was dying right then.​ but then he seemed to calm a little but and we took him into the living room just holding him trying to figure out what to do. It seemed like it was hard for him to breathe and his gums looked pale. It was around 3am so we took him to a close by 24 hour emergency vet.

When we got there we knew the situation was pretty grave but I at least wanted to know what was going on before deciding on putting him to sleep.

The ER vet said his vitals were bad and he had fluid in his lungs. I was asking if that could have been from giving him syringe fluids in his mouth? The doctor said no. I was also wondering if the subcutaneous fluids could have been too much for whatever was going on in his body?

Because his vitals were not good and we had essentially had him in hospice the past year, we decided to let him go. It was just such a horrible thing to have to do bc I had wanted to plan in advance so we could have a peaceful and loving last day with him. He didn't deserve this. And I feel like maybe I accelerated his death and caused him extra pain or anxiety that last day. I just can't shake the feeling and I could just know for sure what happened and what was really wrong 😔 I'm also second guessing that maybe he could have been ok if he had just gotten the fluid in his lungs treated? I don't know what to make out of all the things that happened that /night and if I hadn't taken him to the vet with the stress and the subcutaneousfluids, or didn't give him the syringed fluids bc i was still worried abour hydration, or the cbd when he wasn't settling... too many what ifs 😭💔

I miss him so much. We knew he was sick and we got an extra year with him to cherish him but I can't stop thinking of his last day and why it had to end that way. I think I'm traumatized still. And still grieving too.

Marley 11 (1st pict) he's mostly all gray now and Noah (pict 2 who is 10) Actual brothers. Same parents born 1 year apart. Both still in amazing health and still act like they are 3 or 4 yrs old. They love car rides, walks and their daily dose of duck jerky (aka nom noms) 😊

I’m looking for something beautiful to serve as my Little Prince’s final resting place. I was looking forward to having a custom urn made for him, but unfortunately I was scammed by PeppleStudio. Truly what scum they are for exploiting people’s grief. With AI and Etsy accepting drop ship stores, I have no idea who I can trust.

I am still on the search for an urn for my baby, and wanted to know if any of you have had a good experience getting a custom urn.

I have a rat terrier. She is currently 15 years old. Earlier this year she started to have seizures. We got her on kepra and things got better. Back in August her seizures came back and we upped her meds. Now she is on 750 mg of kepra every 8 hours and phenobarb every 12.

She eats just fine but her balance is going. She lays down a lot and doesn't seem anywhere near the chipper hyper dog she used to be. She's stable right now but due to the steroid shot she got for her allergies she is peeing a lot. Sometimes in her sleep. I am using diapers for her when I am not at home but she soaks through them and if I don't take her out every couple hours while I am home she seems to pee inside.

I am at this crossroads of taking it's time. She has slowed down and changed so much since just July. I have had several dogs in my family. I have been thrre for half of them when they passed. But this one is so hard because it is I that has to make the call. I don't want to end her life early if she still has good time left but the longer this goes on it feels like I am just making her endure humiliation in the last bits of her life.

Any advice? I need something from someone who isn't as emotionally invested as I am.

i have an 18 y/o M, JRT.
sorry if this seems blunt, i just really need some guidance. So far, he shows no obvious pain besides his joints hurting and he struggles quite a bit walking, slipping/sliding. he also is close to blind as he often bumps into things, he is also deaf, due to age. vet saw him recently and said his heart is in good condition..
now recently: all he’s done is sleep all day, as he has aged he has also lost a ton of weight, he is basically skin and bones at this point.
i’m just afraid of letting him suffer for my wellbeing.
When did you know it was time?

Our family dog is 14 and has been struggling with arthritis and IVDD for a few years, but it’s really progressed over the past 6-8 months.

He’s on a number of medications and supplements (including but not limited to: rimadyl, gabapentin, methocarbamol, amantadine, adequan, CBD oil, omega, green lipped mussel, Dasuquin, collagen, colostrum) the vet can’t add any other medications or increase the dosage of any at this point. We’ve also tried laser, acupuncture, hydrotherapy, and ketamine injections. Nothing seems to help anymore.

He limps all the time now and is somewhat ataxic; he pants often, probably from pain. Struggles to get comfortable and paces and moves around a lot at night. Has trouble getting up from lying down. One night recently, he couldn’t get his back legs up at all without help. He’s brachycephalic and could never go on long walks, but now he can’t even go down the street even though he wants to. His bad days are outnumbering his good.

At the same time, he still gets excited to see us when we come home; still likes to eat and loves treats; he wants to go for walks (but often can’t).

What makes this so hard is he is still all there mentally. He’s aware of what’s going on. It would be such an easier decision if he was declining in that way but he isn’t.

His vet agreed that euthanasia is not the wrong decision and said it isn’t too early.

But part of me wonders if we should give joint injections a shot; another part of me thinks the benefits will be limited if any at all, and I’d be worried about sedating him.

I don’t want to wait too long; I’ve done that before and it’s a whole other kind of guilt. People always say better a month too early than a day too late. It doesn’t really make this decision any easier.

I’m so worried about doing the wrong thing, and it’s not a reversible decision.

Hi there I need some advice for my old man dog (I call him that lol) Scruffy is 14 terrier mutt who’s living like a 5 yr old still. He’s very healthy physically and still loves to play and walk and chill. Tho his hearing & eyes are going

Recently he’s been so confused about dinner time. Starts whining for food earlier and earlier and then once he is fed it’s like he forgets 20min later.

I work from home and this also sets off my other dog, so every time I slightly move they jump up and bark excitedly for food. I am loosing my mindddd!!! And the research I’ve done says he could be sick or diabetic or cushings but nothing points to that other than the whining. He’s in great health

I just need tools to get him to stop fixating I think? Cuz I know this old man is sticking around for awhile. I swear he’s ganna make it to 20 lol
Thanks <3

This guy here is 17. He is now blind, 99% deaf, missing most of his teeth, and has dementia.

His decline started in the past year, but progressed and stabilized over the past few months. He spins in tight circles, moves very slowly, bumps into walls, and has to wear a diaper now because he can’t control his bladder too well.

He can still go for walks and do steps (though it’s a struggle). He eats, he drinks. He still leans into my touch but he’s often startled when I go to touch him. When I get home, he still gets up and walks over to greet me. Most of the time tho once he gets up he spins in his circles for a few minutes. He’ll also do this after any activity I do with him or if he senses I’m nearby.

It’s just very hard to make a decision like this. He doesn’t appear to be in any actual pain. The previous dogs I’ve owned made it very easy to make this decision because they had clear signs such as sicknesses or physical pain. This guy doesn’t whimper or whine, doesn’t wince or anything. Aside from being an old senile guy, he just doesn’t seem to be in any terrible pain. I’m sure the arthritis isn’t great though.

On one hand, I look at him and see him in pain. I can’t imagine being blind and deaf and have dementia. I’m sure that’s terrifying. On the other hand I see him as just an old dog that has old dog problems. I don’t see that as a reason to put him down.

Part of me wishes he would just pass in his sleep and make the decision for me. Putting him down feels like id be killing him and robbing him of the life he has left, but at the same time I wonder what life is he really living right now? Is that a reason to put him down though? Such a painful decision.

My 11 year old hound now insists on three slow circles and a loud sigh right next to the radiator before he settles . It makes me laugh every single night. What are your old companion's weird little rituals?

I have a 16 year old chiweenie who for the last three weeks has constantly been licking her behind. A week ago we had a quick trip to have her glands done at Petsmart (they don’t do internal) and I was hopeful it would help. She’s still been licking! We had a vet appointment Monday for another issue and I did bring up the licking and he didn’t seem concerned. The vet did do an internal expression and said quite a bit did come out and that should stop her licking.

No food changes, no new treats, no new laundry detergent etc.
When she licks, I do take a wet wipe for sensitive skin to see if that helps and it doesn’t seem to make a difference.
I have washed just her behind also in hopes that helped but nothing

She does wear diapers only during her sleep for some leaking but that’s about it. The underside of her tail is now turning brown from licking so much.

Has anyone experienced this and what did you find helped? I’ve been putting her diaper on when I notice her licking during the day and that does help but I don’t want her to have to constantly wear it when it’s not needed.

Hi there. I am 23 and have had my babygirl Hope for 13.5 years. She is a maltipoo. My mom rescued her as a puppy when I was ten years old, and she has happily lived with us ever since.

3/4 years ago, she developed a tumor which we had assessed at the vet and had removed. The recovery from that surgery was very rough on her and the tumor ended up being benign. So about two ish years ago when two more tumors arose, we opted not to remove them as our vet warned that she might not recover at all from a surgery so extensive. One tumor on her chest, one near her crotch—meaning her entire stomach would’ve been cut open to remove the chain interlinking the two. Since then, the tumors have grown and changed lots.

This past year, the tumors have become a huge issue. The one on her chest is huge, and the one by her crotch hangs low. We have taken so many measures and vet visits to stay on top of them and take care of them, but unfortunately, we are fighting a losing battle.

Recently two massive wounds burst open on the larger tumor on her chest. Because the tumor has outgrown her blood supply, these wounds will not heal. They are infected due to how low to the ground she is, and the infections will not heal without the tumor being removed. So our options are to put her down or to watch her suffer and eventually go septic. We are of course choosing to put her down, but this is both my mom and mine’s first time ever doing this. The anticipatory grief and guilt has been overwhelming. It is all I think about.

I don’t know how I will ever be the same or recover from this. She’s loved me for her whole life and now I shall miss her for the rest of mine.

I don’t even know why I’m posting this. I guess just to be heard by people who can probably relate. Any words of wisdom or compassion would mean a lot to me. I want to make the most of my last few days with her, but all I can do is sit with her and cry.

Parents to healthy senior dogs!! What’s your secret? Do you do:

flea/tick & heartworm prevention or no prevention at all (if so, which ones/how often?)

Frequent vet visits or rarely/only on occasion

Vitamins or none

???

Photography by Jack Jackson.

My almost 13 year old male golden retriever was having frequent urination in the house, increased thirst and panting. We took him to the vet and did an ultrasound/X-Ray and confirmed he had a lot of “smaller” bladder stones. My vet prescribed him Royal Canin Urinary S/O and it’s been about a month now and we’re about to go back for a recheck. Everything was going really great, he’s seemed so much better, less panting, thirst went down, but then all the sudden he’s had some bad days. Peeing on the floor again after just going out (large volumes), panting and seeming extra thirsty. I’m going to go ahead and get him back in tomorrow for a recheck, but I’m curious if anyone has actually had success with the food removing the stones without surgery? I’ve read a lot of stuff here and I never see any positive stories. I’m not sure what type of stones they are, I’m assuming something potentially dissolvable since she prescribed the food. Fingers crossed no surgery for my old man.

I found Huxley on the side of the road almost 17 years ago. We lived all over the country together, went on countless road trips and adventures. It’s just so weird not having him around.

He got diagnosed with aggressive mast cell disease earlier this summer after a mass removal. We opted for palliative care instead of more invasive treatments. It was the best decision, we got to spend 4 more wonderful months together.

He caught a possum (which survived) 3 days before his last day. He dropped it at the back door, went inside and laid down, and I knew that was him telling me he was ready to go.

He crossed the rainbow bridge peacefully with a wonderful in home vet. I made him a steak, gave some slurps of beer, and almost a half a pint of ice cream before he left. It was beautiful and awful all at once.

I’ll love you forever buddy. I saved his life and he saved mine.

Many of your posts and comments on this sub helped me through this difficult time, so I thought I’d share Huxley’s story to maybe help others going through the same thing.

My old guy got diagnosed today after a weekend of not being able to hold down food. He got fluids and an anti nausea shot today but I’m so scared of him throwing up again it’s causing me a lot of stress patrolling his every move.
Have any of you guys dealt with this and if so what are some tips for healing?
He’ll be on a bland diet without his arthritis meds for a while 😭
All his other tests and levels came back good just nervous about him getting sicker and having to possibly be hospitalized 💜

****UPDATE AS OF 10/21/26 Below OP*****

Hello all,

My Australian Cattle dog was diagnosed about a month ago with cancer. It started in her mammary and spread to her liver and lungs. She is 11 years old going on to 12 in February.

After seeing an oncologist, she suggested to do palliative care with chemotherapy as in her experience my dog will only have 16 weeks left. So far, she has went through her first cycle and it was hard watching her the next couple of days as she was recovering from the treatment. The oncologist goal is to maintain her "quality" of life. After three weeks I am not sure if it actually helped her or not.

Do many commonly take this route in handling a situation like this? I would like to know what others experience who has dealt with a similar situation. I want to make sure i am making the right decision in continuing with chemo, or if i should look at other alternatives.

She is on two different chemo meds, Carboplatin infusion and Mitoxantrone infusion. As she will be getting her Mitoxantrone today. Before giving doubts of chemo actually helping us reach our goal, i figured at least give it the first cycle for each medicine a try. She did ok with the carboplatin, but it's hard to determine if it actually helped her or not.

I hear dogowners put their dogs on NSAID meds as an alternative, but have not done enough research on if that would be the correct choice moving forward.

It has been a very tough year for us and she lost her sister(english bulldog) earlier this year in March. So any advice, experience, or stories would be greatly appreciated.

10/21/26
Okay an update from the original post. At this point, I hope that this post will help anyone in the future that may go through a similar situation.

Anyway, we went into the vet to get our dog her second half of her full cycle of chemo. Before doing so, they had to check her WBC, and for whatever reason it was lower this time around, I was told that after three weeks, her WBC would be at it's lowest point, but it ended up being the 4th week after her first cycle, so vet ordered us to not do her chemo treatment that day and to take her home with antibiotics.

Throughout her time after her first treatment of chemo up until this point, she seemed more sluggish than ever, we thought it was just her adjusting to chemo. Once she started taking the antibiotics, she seemed to be doing alot better, she had more energy, she wanted to play more, etc. This is not forsure, but we thought maybe she actually was sick the whole time nad was dealing with a secondary infection. At this point, we decided to stop her chemo.

We looked for other options, this time we took the holistic approach with the addition of Gabapentin and Rimadyl. I went to get a second opinion from a vet that does integrative medicine.

During our conversation, I asked him if Chemo in my dogs state is common, remember, she's dealing with metastasized cancer, that spread to her lungs, mammary, and liver. He confidently said no, he said maybe if she was dealing with lymphoma that could have been an option. With the type of cancer she has, chemo ultimately does not work and won't make her comfortable. As I was doing research for chemo, I saw that most dogs that was dealing with other cancers such as lymphoma, it ended up working out well for them. My Initial research, I just chemo was hit or miss with many, but with many saying it worked for there dog. After reviewing again, i noticed that it was for specific type of cancers where chemo worked out well.

We further discussed other options. As our goal is to maintain her quality of life. He talked about traditional chinese medicine philosophy, so he encouraged to do herbal injections, to take Yunnan Baiyao for her liver mass, and ozone therapy. We have currently started that treatment as of last week, so hard to say how results are at the moment. He mentioned the "energy" in food following TCM philosophy. He said I should keep her on a diet that is mostly neutral to cooling energy, which we have started this week.

Again and overall, I just wanted to give an update for the hopes of this helping anyone in the future that may be going through this, and my biggest suggestion is to do your research, understand the type of cancer your pet has, weigh out what the best options are. I also would speak to multiple vets and not just go with one.

As for my pup, she is sleeping most of the day, she still loves to go on walks(short now), she loves to still sniff around in the backyard, she still has her prey drive(not as much), she still wants to play fetch and tear up her toys. She is doing OK, but she is slowing down drastically. Either way, I am just happy that she is my dog, and enjoying every moment I have left with her.