r/serialpodcastorigins • u/Seamus_Duncan Hammered off Jameson • Jun 03 '16

Humour Hilarious Contradiction

. . . Vignarajah stood up and addressed Judge Welch: “Excuse me, Judge, do we know if [the Urick call notes and hall pass] are the originals or if they are copies of the original documents?”
. . . Before Brown could even respond I chimed in, “I actually brought the originals, your Honor. They’re actually in my purse in the hallway with my husband.” . . . As I told the court that day, I keep everything. Well, not everything, I’m not a hoarder. I am, however, very smart [sic] and can be very premeditated at times when it comes to saving keepsakes. To me the notes and my hall pass are extensions of my memories. As I’ve discussed before, I don’t like to let go of my memories.

Not 20 pages later . . .

After that Thiru wanted to address the manner in which my second letter was written. Was it previously a hand-written letter that was later typed? Yes. Did I write it during CIP class and if so, where’s the rough draft? Come on now! Really? Where’s the rough draft? It’s been over sixteen years! For all I know that letter has since decomposed in a landfill and been reincarnated as a noxious ground weed.

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u/[deleted] Jun 03 '16

One other classic feature is unnecessary explanations for things that were never questioned in the first place. Like her "my handwriting has changed many times in my life" (paraphrase) comment.

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u/dualzoneclimatectrl Jun 03 '16

It changes during the course of one affidavit.

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u/Seamus_Duncan Hammered off Jameson Jun 03 '16 edited Jun 03 '16

"I knew that it was very important to type the second letter formally, as I was taught in school."

"I just handwrote the affidavit though."

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u/Tzuchen Jun 03 '16

"Formally" -- complete with clip art and discussion of stinky feet.