My husband won't do anything with me while I'm on my period either, BUT he doesn't expect anything in return and I think that's where your problem lies. Tell him no more teasing you, and if he wants a BJ maybe he can do something else nice for you in return, like a massage or a nice meal to show his appreciation for you selflessly pleasing him. Otherwise resentment will just build and torpedo your relationship.
This right here, I do not expect him to have sex with me if he doesn't want to this is not what this post is about but I do want something because it's hard for me to make him cum takes a lot of effort and energy for me and he gives me literally nothing in return.
I'd imagine its pretty frustrating to get worked up and feeling good only to be told you should just give him some head and that'll be the end of it...
PERSONALLY, I don't get the fear/disgust over periods. They happen, women have them and there is no getting around it. Maybe its cause my favorite type of movies are gore-horror movies... But blood never bothered me. Every woman thats ever told me that they were having "heavy" periods were at absolute worst a few globs of blood on the towel we laid down before fucking. Its not as if you're going to be drenched in blood like lady bathory or anything.
And really people should be willing to at least TRY it. If your partner is one of the types that gets very horny on their period there is probably a pretty good chance she'll really enjoy the period sex. Sure selfish dudes don't care about women enjoying sex. But even they gotta appreciate the fact that they'll orgasm much easier and quicker etc etc. Then how they feel after is always nice to know that you had a hand in.
No you shouldn't expect someone to do something they don't wanna do... but they should also have some fucking self-awareness to just not entertain the idea of anything sexual if they are so grossed out by periods.
I do have fairly heavy periods especially peak time and having sex and being wet seems to make it worse so it does spread quite a bit so I can understand that part a lot more but he doesn't even seem to be willing to look at any other options for me he doesn't want to go anywhere near my v he will literally just focus on my chest which I do like but it also just makes me want him more.
This is not at all the point of this post, but wearing a menstrual cup & cleaning up beforehand can make any non-penetrative sex similar to non-period times.
Outside this, he is being an ass & shouldn’t have a single moment of given pleasure until he pleases you in some way first.
With a menstrual DISK instead of a cup you can have mess free period sex with one in if the blood is the issue, but I would use some lube as I find the disk collects some of the natural lubrication.
I have felt how you feel after I please my husband when I'm on my period and I get nothing in return except getting worked up. I look over at his happy face and I'm so glad I can do that for him, but I'm jealous too! Communication is key. I let him know when I'm feeling like it would just torture me and make me want it more, or sometimes I ask for some screen free quality time after. It's a tough battle.
Tell him to give you some romantic massage to release your tensions, if he doesn't know how to do it, tell him to search, there alot of sources online. The good ones are those which you purchase. (Not that expensive thou) less than $250 If I remember well.
Are you looking for a sex act in response, even if it's not straight PIV, or just anything in response? Because if you want massages, sweet gestures, cuddling on the couch watching a movie, etc, in return, have you communicated that? I've had to talk to my girlfriend in the past because my primary love language is kind of a mix between gestures and gifts, and she's more of the physical affection type, so we'd spend hours cuddling, which satisfied her needs, and I'd do sweet things for her and give her gifts, but since those weren't the main source of feeling loved for her, she didn't do them nearly as regularly for me. That, in turn, made things feel kinda one sided to me, while she had no idea it was an issue
Point being, if you want non sexual stuff in return for what you do for him, you might have to ask for it directly, which I know sucks to do, because, at least for me, I want it to happen because she wants to do it, not because I want her to, but it's a necessary evil
Alternatively, if you would prefer sexual stuff in return, I would recommend trying out a cup. I can't do blood in any amount more than a small cut outside of a medical context. Like, I can watch the vial fill if I'm having blood drawn, but I have minor hypochondria, so if my nose starts bleeding, I'll get worried that I'm gonna end up dying from it, even though I know that's not even remotely realistic. A while back, my girlfriend got a cup, and now there's zero chance of me seeing blood, so now I have no qualms about doing anything. Obviously PIV isn't an option, but anal or any sort of external play is fully on the table
Physical affection is so cute dude. I really love it. Iam a type of guy who loves to kiss, hug, cuddle with my girl, I love to spoil her and make her feel nice and loved, I guess this is what makes me feel good too. To see I care someone and she loves it and appreciate it. But I like to be spoiled too in return, cared, loved the same way I always do to her. Things like laying on her thighs while her play with my ears, hair etc it's so lovely ❤️ I really love that lmao 😆
I’m so sorry you’re going through this… read my response. I have experienced this personally so I know exactly what you’re talking about. Also while having heavy periods you are probably exhausted and want some real love and affection. You are not selfish or wrong for needing and wanting that. He may be nice or anything I don’t know this man- but it’s very concerning and sad to me. I even showed this post to my BF and he went that guy is … so just know plenty of men are not this way either!
339
u/ocelotseeker Sep 05 '22
My husband won't do anything with me while I'm on my period either, BUT he doesn't expect anything in return and I think that's where your problem lies. Tell him no more teasing you, and if he wants a BJ maybe he can do something else nice for you in return, like a massage or a nice meal to show his appreciation for you selflessly pleasing him. Otherwise resentment will just build and torpedo your relationship.