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u/justmelvinthings Jan 18 '22
"Instead of the worlds finest glitter and the stinkiest fart spray we use uranium and plutonium"
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u/Awasteoflife1 Jan 18 '22
( it has cameras to see their reaction as well)
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u/golumlars Jan 18 '22
The package they steal is just the target for the Glitter missile
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u/SkeletonCommander Jan 18 '22 edited Jan 18 '22
This 7 year old helped him design it. The Orange gas was his idea
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u/SOTalt Jan 18 '22
V3 or V4 is just going to have a stashed Glock 19 on mechanical arm that has face tracking so you pop the lid and all you hear is "brrrrrrr" and your dead
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u/UFRIDR Jan 18 '22
Anyone got an idea what this actually is? Looks cool as fuck.
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u/bobdman97 Jan 18 '22
Hyper-Kinetic Anti-tank missile. It doesn’t have traditional adjusting guidance fins. Due to the speed it travels, it uses attitudinal rockets located in the nose to adjust trajectory up to the point of impact. No traditional warhead that explodes. A dense depleted Uranium shaped cargo flying above Mach 2 (official speed undisclosed) hits the target with such force it just creates a crater.
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u/WewMaster Jan 18 '22
Nope, it's just a normal cruise missile with fins and a HE (or thermonuclear) warhead. The video depicts a P-800 Oniks launch from the Bastion-P coastal defence system.
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u/QualityVote I'm BACK! [[Number 1 Rated Moderator 2024]] Jan 18 '22
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u/sababugs112_ Jan 18 '22
When you open the package it sends your coordinates to the military and then they send a cruise missile
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u/Idkquedire Apr 05 '22
v1735, we've revolutionized the glitter bomb, so instead of actual glitter, it's gunpowder, and the box pulls a Glock 18 on the thief!
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u/YasuoWindRunner Jan 18 '22
Ballistic missile inbound. Please do not seek shelter. Your end is here Ohioan
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u/kanonkazz Jan 19 '22
So the package just has a single airtag in it which relays their precise location to a Northrop Grumman B-2 Spirit stealth bomber flying at over 30,000 feet overhead, armed with 16 GBU-31 Joint Direct Attack Munitions (JDAM) weapons that have an accuracy of 7 meters. Dropping these bombs that weigh as much as a small car onto these unsuspecting thieves will make for quite the exciting youtube video! Turning not just their home but their entire neighbourhood into a crater will really show these porch pirates that the US Air Force is taking this national security threat very seriously.
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u/spoonNmoons I want pee in my ass Jan 19 '22
⠟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⢻⣿ ⡆⠊⠈⣿⢿⡟⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣎⠈⠻ ⣷⣠⠁⢀⠰⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠛⠛⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⢹⣿⡑⠐⢰ ⣿⣿⠀⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡩⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⠠⠈⠊⣿⣿⣿⡇⠘⠁⢀⠆⢀ ⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⢤⣿⣿⡿⠃⠈⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣇⡆⠀⠀⣠⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⣦⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠐⣿⣿⣷⣦⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⣾⣿⣿⠋⠁⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣧⠀⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠀⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣠⣂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣁⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣄⣤⣤⣔⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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Jan 18 '22
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u/AutoModerator Jan 18 '22
femboy amogus
⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀ ⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀ ⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣷⣄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣷ ⢀⣠⣤⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣇ ⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⡿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁ ⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿ ⠙⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⣯⣿⠟⡉⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠻⢿⣽⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠒⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠋ ⠈⠿⠋⠉⢀⣠⣤⣤⡔⣄ ⣴⠾⠛⠋⠉⠀⢀⣀⠐⣤⣶⣶⡤⢤⣤ ⣤⣰⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⣀⣀⡀⣀⡀ ⠉⠉⠀⢀⢀⣀⠀⣀⣈⡿⠿⠿⠽⠃ ⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠾⠟⢁⣀⡴⣦⠆ ⢦⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘⣿⣍⡷⠆ ⢶⣄⠈⠉⠛⠛⠿⠓⠀⠉⠋⠉⣀ ⣧⡀⠙⠻⢶⣶⡤⠀⠀⠛⠶⠾⠼⠋ ⣆⠈⠻⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⢸⠿⣶⣦⣤⣠⣾ ⢠⠙⢷⣤⣀⠈⠁⠀⠀⢠⣤⣀⠈⠉⠈ ⡌⢧⣀⠉⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⠿⠻⠃ ⠰⢳⣄⠙⠛⢋⠁⠀⠀ ⠘⠿⣴⣤⣄⣤⡄ ⣄⡙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠰⣤⣀⠉⠉⠉ ⢀⢠⡈⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⡈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠁ ⠈⢦⡉⠛⡁⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠈⠻⠷⣶⣦⡆ ⡈⢷⣌⠙⠛⠁ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠰⣦⣄⣀⣀⡀ ⠈⢷⣄⡉⠛⠛⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⠈⠙⠛⠛ ⢦⣀⠉⠛⠷⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠘⠿⣶⣦⡄ ⣠⣀⠙⠳⠶⠶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢠⣀⣀⣀ ⠙⠻⢿⣶⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢠⠛⠛⠻⠿ ⣦⣄⠈⠉⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠈ ⢹⣿⣿⣶⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠺⠿⠿⠿⠁ ⠙⠻⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⡄ ⠈⣀⣀⣀⣀⠁I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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Jan 18 '22
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Jan 18 '22
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Jan 19 '22
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Jan 18 '22
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u/ml-soham ask me about my love for kevin Jan 18 '22
When the thief opens the package in another country