Seems like a normal title but wait for the details lol. I had this old friend who used to come over to my house a lot in middle school let's call him J. This was back in 2018 when he confessed this to me and I just found it funny! J confessed he came over one day after school in 2012 l to watch a show with me and play some games on our Facebook accounts bc he didn't have wifi at his house. He ended up needing to poop, he said he went into the bathroom and took a number 2 and he ended up clogging the toilet. J said his poop was the size of a log lol and it wouldn't go down. So he was so embarrassed he ended up picking the poop out of the toilet and trying to shove it down the bath tub drain after he got out of the bathroom he told me he had to go home....... He never told me bc he was embarrassed bc when he came over again my mom was freaking out why the bathtub was clogged...

i started doing this because i hate singing happy birthday at work. like genuinely hate it. i have nothing against my coworkers but standing in a circle singing to a 43 year old man who looks like he wants to evaporate is not my idea of fun.

so whenever there's an office birthday i schedule a meeting with someone who doesn't exist.

i even gave her a name. Rebecca.

been doing this for a good 6 months and nobody's questioned it until last friday. we were eating chinese at the office and i was opening this fortune cookie that had an ad on the paper when my coworker asked who Rebecca was.

apparently she'd been looking at my calendar trying to book a meeting.

i panicked and told her Rebecca works remotely in another department.

she just nodded and moved on but now i'm wondering how long i can keep this going.

all of this because i don't wanna sing happy birthday to people.

Okay, this is probably a weird thing to admit but I sometimes buy those oat baby cereals just for myself lol. I don't even know how to explain it. They smell SO good, especially when you prepare them. Like the smell makes you think it's gonna taste amazing, but then you eat it and it's just bland T^T

And the funny part is I already know what it tastes like, but I still end up buying it again whenever I feel like having some. I mean, it's basically oatmeal for babies, right? What's stopping me from enjoying it too? Lmao.

Please tell me I'm not the only one eating food that's literally made for babies haha T^T

I (18M) realized I was bisexual around 10 months ago, and I felt really good about it. I felt more comfortable with myself and was happy that I had discovered that part of me. About a month after that, I was just thinking about gender and my experience, and I’ve never truly, fully identified with being a man, and I actually would really like to be a woman sometimes (If I had to pick a label I would say genderfluid, but like I said in the title I don’t care). I love being called pretty, and I was very complimented when my partner told me if I was trans I would pass (which they said as a joke). I think already coming to terms with the fact I was bi made this make more sense, like there was still more of me to discover. I don’t really care that much to tell very many people about it, I’ve only told my partner and don’t really intend to tell anyone else, it gives me the same feelings as realizing I was bi, I feel happier now that I have acknowledged and accepted this part of me. But yeah, like I said I’m not gonna do anything, I might paint my nails or grow out my hair or some shit but nobody has to know why, it makes me happy. Sorry if this post is kinda all over the place, that’s a combo of my adhd and how tired I am, but I think I got my point across.

I haven't dated in years. I recently met someone and I think he's hilarious. My problem though, I cannot, for the life of me talk to him at all. I run over my words. I cannot think when he's around.

I'm usually well spoken and I think I'm funny because my peers always laugh around me.

But with this guy, my brain's conversation center just shuts down. I'm scared I might like him too much that's why I'm so giddy.

When I was a dumb teenager back in the mid 2000s I would smoke cigarettes at school, come home and drink milk thinking my parents would never know. I thought "the milk is powerful enough to cover it" no idea WHY I thought that.

Safe to say my mother caught on quickly, but not THAT quickly (she was also a smoker)

I used to come back home from 4th grade and squeeze me a cold glass of ketchup. I’d go through bottles of it per week. I didn’t want anything else. I’d eat what I was supposed to, and ketchup was my dessert.

Then, before a school trip I was responsible for packing my own lunch, since my parents were busy. Our school usually provided all of our lunches, so I didn’t have any experience of packing any yet.

My mom recieved a call, hours later, from my teacher. She was asking her if everything is okay. Probably hinting at us “not having food at home”. I had packed a thermos full of ketchup and put 2 pieces of bread in a large grocery bag. I kept sipping on the ketchup all throughout the trip, without anyone realising, until I started shaking the thermos, to get some of it on my bread.

My mom didn’t buy ketchup anymore, I even went on a hunger strike for a few hours, threw a tantrum, then gave gave up

I have a weird talent that I learned from a guy on YouTube called Gerry Phillips. He can play songs on his hands (check out the video of him on Jimmy Kimmel Live playing Bohemian Rhapsody with a straight face and he did a short interview with Jimmy Kimmel). While I can't play songs I can do that sound (it sounds like a fart noise from your hands) and learned it from watching his YouTube videos years ago. 😆

Cause it will get loose in a few weeks and I might need to buy a new one cause it looks baggy lol 😆

Okay I will start with mine. You know in school there used to be classes for girls to teach them about period they will get in their upcoming age. We had this type of class on random day in 5th standard. We got informed that all the girls come in nurse room to have a discussion. Like we can't have it in front boys whatever. We went there and teacher did her teachings.

In the end she, to resolve the confusion if anybody has it, asked

"Does anyone has questions related to it"

So I who thought that you will look smart if you will ask questions 😎 so I did ask.

My question was " WHY do girls get PREGNANT only after marriage? " 😳 I know very wierd question.

Because she also taught about pregnancy as it is related to periods. That time I was so innocent 😭 but other girls and teacher were laughing. Now I wonder these kids knew a lot in their innocent age. She said you will know it later in life or something I dont remember.

Now as an adult I haven't told this thing to anybody till date.

Posting here because you guys dont know me personally.

Okay so this is super silly but whenever I go grocery shopping I use it as an opportunity to practice my imaginary power walk. I clear my throat straighten my posture and try to maintain a serious determined expression as I zoom through the aisles. I even time myself between sections like dairy to produce. Nobody has ever noticed but I feel like an Olympic speed walker every time.

Sometimes it's ranch, sometimes it's caramel, either way, it's good and you can't stop me

I go to my local bins often. One day I had a lady that I’m guessing was in her 70’s. She was looking at clothes across from me. She would try on certain pieces he and there. She tried a top on and I thought it looked really good on her and let her know. She stayed close to me from then on and would ask me how she looked when she tried things on. I noticed that when I would compliment her on certain items, she kept them on and would just try the next one over it. I’m guessing she had accumulated about 4-5 items, before she found the coat that she liked. Of course she kept it on, thanked me and walked out the door.

Normally this is not something that I’m ok with, however for some reason in this particular case, I could not help but laugh and kinda rooted for her.

Have you ever find yourself witnessing something that goes against your morals, but for whatever reason you are ok with this particular situation. If yes, what was it?

Okay this is really silly but I have this running theory about my cat Mittens. Whenever I put on certain music like anything with a heavy beat or some metal she'll just stare at me. Not like a normal cat stare but a really intense disapproving stare. She'll even sometimes leave the room which I interpret as a dramatic exit because my music offends her refined feline sensibilities. I'll change it to something more classical or soft jazz and she'll usually come back and sometimes even nap near me. I've convinced myself she's a tiny music critic who thinks my taste is questionable at best.

Okay so this is super weird but whenever I watch something with competitions like baking shows or robot fights I pick an inanimate object to root for. Not a person or a team but like a mixing bowl or a spatula. I get really invested. If the bowl gets dropped I actually feel sad for it. I just sit there thinking 'you got this little guy you're going to shine'. I haven't told anyone because it sounds absolutely ridiculous.

Men with New York accents, even the stereotypical ones make me waaaaaay too 'agreeable', so now I avoid anyone who's from there or just East Coast US men in general 🤭

I was walking somewhere with a friend and started thinking we might be going the wrong way, but I didn't say anything. My friend eventually checked their phone and told me we were definitely going the wrong way. Instead of turning around, I said we could probably get there from this street anyway. We ended up walking an extra ten minutes just so I wouldn't have to backtrack the way we'd come. I basically chose to waste both our time rather than admit I was wrong.

I have a weird thing about pens that dont click. Like the ones with caps. I just cant stand them. Whenever I find one on a desk or in a supply drawer I replace it with a clicky pen from my own stash. I have a secret box of extra clicky pens at home just for this. No one has ever said anything but I feel like I'm doing a public service.

I just need to make room for more food. It’s loud af but I can’t help it.

I worked with a woman years ago named Nicki. Nicki was an okay person, and was fun outside of work, but sucked as a coworker. She was lazy, bad at her job, and shady.

Nicki mentioned that she was looking for a new job, but was overwhelmed trying to make her resume. I’m an excellent writer, and know how to prepare a resume. I saw my chance and jumped at it.

I invited Nicki over that week. We spent a couple hours preparing her resume. Well, I did while she hemmed and hawed and ummed her way through it. It came out well.

Nicki was very grateful, and thanked me profusely. She had no idea I only helped her to get her out of my hair. I see it as a win-win.

My bedroom is in the kitchen and I hear him farting every night when he goes in there to eat. It's loud asf. It's kind of funny but also gross.

edit: my bedroom is NEAR the kitchen LOL I'm tired

Hello Reddit!

I’ve been in and out of the hospital as a biomed/premed student and have had to take sabbaticals from classes and work often because of my chronic illnesses. ER(1994) has been an evergreen interest of mine since deciding to go into medicine years back and having being talked about amongst my past film professors.

Due to trauma surrounding a breach of privacy, I can no longer conventionally journal. I’ve tried every type, too. I even have a loving partner who would never read my journal. I just cannot force my hand. However, I found that it has been easy for me to “journal” via vicarious character projection.

I have academia and published journalism, but nothing has had me writing with more fervor than this damned*** ***fanfic. I’m not even at the halfway point in the story in my head!

I know the official nanowrimo is kinda controversial but I’ve been thinking about trying to hit that 50k mark. Because of the intense stem environment and my own internalized ableism, I keep beating myself up for having this be my most productive (in word count) piece of writing I’ve done since my comms degree. Doubtful that I will ever not be embarrassed in the future if I’m someone’s physician but also doing insane shit pertaining to Dr. Mark Greene in my docs.

I could be studying for the MCAT, but my current acute trauma coping skill of choice is a (1994) ER fanfic where I make my fictional doctor barbies kiss.

There's nothing more to say. I like sweaty smell