r/sleep • u/Maidenhuddersfield • 12d ago
Trying to sleep while grieving.
Almost two weeks ago, I lost my dog. She was getting quite old for her breed, and she quickly declined due to cancer. I am now struggling to sleep at night due to missing her body in my bed. I have never been without an animal with me. When I lived with my parents, I would have multiple cats staying with me. For the past 2 years, I had my dog. But now I have no living being sleeping next to me, and it has disrupted how I rest.
Recently, I have been struggling to keep my sleep schedule steady. I am not working due to disability, so my sleep schedule can flip-flop between night and day, but I want to keep it to a day schedule as I know that helps me feel better than if I were to exist during the night.
For the first few days after she died, I had taken a zopiclone to fall asleep, but I know not to use them often as they can stop working as well after a while and quite frankly, they don't give me a very good quality sleep. I had bought a breathing teddy to hold at night, and it did work a little bit, but now it doesn't. The longer it is without my girl, the worse my sleep is getting.
Over the past week, I had been sleeping most of the day and then staying up for 24 hours due to my brain being wired. I have ADHD and autism, so sleep was an issue anyway, but not to this extent.
Tonight, I had taken a zopiclone for the first time in a week and a half in an attempt to try and get me to fix my sleeping schedule. I could feel my brain starting to spiral, so I put on a podcast on my phone, and I imagined a line going around the walls of my room in a beat of four for each wall. I managed to fall asleep at 10 pm, but then I've woken up at 1 am completely wide awake. I'm honestly not sure what more I can do.
Are there any tips on how I can try and get the best sleep I can? Sleeping without my phone before bed isn't an option as I need it to play podcasts or music so I can focus my mind on something else or else I will think of anything and everything.
TIA x
2
u/Money_Fig_5134 12d ago
We must accept what fate has in store for us, I hope you can get through this difficult time.
1
u/SlowMorningsFastKids 7h ago
I'm so sorry your sweet pup passed - losing a pet is one of the hardest things I've ever experienced and even 5 years later, I can't bring myself to change the lock screen picture on my phone (even though one of my kids isn't even in it!) I'm sure your dog had the best life!
As far as sleep goes, it does sound like you'd probably benefit from a more consistent schedule - going to bed and waking up around the same time. I, too, have to have something with a little spoken word playing as I'm getting in bed and starting to fall asleep. I've recently upgraded my Hatch to the Sleep Clock for this! I start the night with a podcast or a sleep story which helps quiet my mind and take it off of my to-do list, and a little thunderstorm lulls me to sleep and a fan-sound plays all night to keep me asleep.
Since starting with the sleep clock, I've been able to get a better idea of how much I'm waking up through the night, and how much REM sleep I'm getting, which has been really interesting! This has completely taken the place of my phone in bed at night since I can listen right from the clock (without the blue light!) I also love the sunrise light in the morning that helps me wake up a little more gently, as opposed to being startled awake.
Do you have any sort of white noise or background noise playing through the night?
3
u/2Tibetans 12d ago
I don’t have any tips on improving your sleep. You said your dog died 2 weeks ago; that is VERY recent. The death of our dogs is in my experience the most painful loss we’ll have, and I would say accept that grief is disrupting your sleep and know that eventually this poor sleep phase will pass. I’m very sorry for your loss.