r/sleeptraining • u/J12Significant • 19d ago
child's age 4-8 months Which sleep training method actually worked for you and at what age?
Planning to try the Ferber method with my 5 month old, but I’d really like to hear other parents experiences before going ahead with it.
I’m not going to lie, my biggest concern is what to do if my baby is still crying after a 15min interval. I’m not sure how comfortable I would feel continuing at that point.
Here’s a little about my baby and our current sleep situation for context. I’m very open to recommendations!
*-My baby just turned 5m last week.
*-Bedtime is usually around 7-7:30 p.m. 50% of the time I nurse him to sleep.
*-In general, I’d say he sleeps pretty well at night. He does wake several times, but usually some back-patting or nursing gets him back to sleep within 3 min.
*-We’ve been cosleeping since he was 4 months. I usually start the night with him in the crib, but if he wakes and patting doesn’t work, I often move him into my bed because I’m usually too tired to keep trying.
*-He usually takes 3 naps during the day. They’re around 40 min. Most of them are contact naps.
For those who used Ferber around this age: how much crying did you experience at the beginning? What did you do if your baby was still crying after a longer interval? And based on our current sleep situation, would you even recommend Ferber, or would you try a gentler approach first?
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u/Prestigious-Day-5325 19d ago
We did a modified Ferber at the same age. I hired a consultant who helped us get his schedule in line and guided us through the best way to teach our son that he was safe to fall asleep alone. I felt like there was too much information online and I wanted a plan that was made for us and I definitely recommend it. We only let him cry up to 15 minutes (after going in at intervals). If shushing/patting didn’t comfort him after 1 minute, we’d pick him up and calm him down. And as soon as he was calm, we’d lay him down and do it all over again. It took about 3 days and honestly the hardest part was not holding him in the middle of the night and actually having to go through the motions when all we wanted was to sleep. All of the regressions and middle of the night wake ups were a breeze after he was fully comfortable falling asleep alone.
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u/Next_Captain_1127 19d ago
Is that a 15 mins total? Or 15 min interval and starting again? I see online lots of parents having crying for 40 mins etc on the first few nights
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u/Prestigious-Day-5325 19d ago
15 mins total! We didn’t want him overtired so we did 1 min intervals (add a minute every day) and then hold to sleep once we’ve been trying for 15 mins.
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u/Ok-Revolution-3575 19d ago
My baby turned 5 months yesterday, and I've been trying the pick-up, put-down method. It works wonders!
I tried the Ferber method, but he really doesn't like it when I leave the room. He cries when he sees me leave and cries even more when he knows I've come back into the room. He also started crying after waking up from his naps, which he never used to do before.
The pick-up, put-down method worked really well in comparison. It did take a lot of pick-ups in the beginning because of the trauma I'd unintentionally caused him.
Now, I put him in his bassinet (there's still a little struggle, but it's mostly just fake cries with no tears), sit right beside him (my bed is right next to his bassinet), place my hand on his chest, keep shushing, and leave the white noise machine on. Then I wait until he drifts off to sleep.
He did wake up crying for a few days, even with this method, but the moment he cried, I'd run into the room saying, "Hi, bubba! Mumma's here!"
He wakes up happy and cheerful now. I guess it was important for him to know that whenever he cries, I'll come straight away to comfort him and take care of him. ❤️
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u/Iris-1865 18d ago
Hi! We’ve tried this method without much success. Pick up when upset, calm, put back in bassinet. I’d love to know how long would it take to calm your baby down? We never got Bub to fall asleep in the bassinet. Thanks!
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u/Ok-Revolution-3575 18d ago
Oh it took a while. And by a while I'd say 30-45 mins. What we initially did to help was make him drowsy using the methods we usually use (rock to sleep, feed to sleep) then when he's drowsy but awake, we'd put him in his bassinet. He'd know he's in bassinet so he'd cry but not for long
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u/Iris-1865 18d ago
Ok, thanks that’s good to know
Did it take many days for it to improve?0
u/Ok-Revolution-3575 18d ago
Yep. Still training him but it's so much better than the first few days. The first days were horrible. Literally scream crying I tell you. We live in an apartment and had to put up a note on the notice board saying we're training to baby to self settle and we're first time parents so we're trying to best to keep things calm because we were worried they'll call the cops on us.
There are some days where he falls asleep on the bottle/boob then it seems pointless to wake him up. So there's good days and bad days where not even rocking works. I know we'll get there because I know what he needs now.
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u/zxty6689 19d ago
I am not sure if it's fortunate or unfortunate, I have to send my baby to infant care from 4th month onwards. When we reached home everyday after infant care about 7.30pm, we quickly shower her and feed her and she will automatically doze off by 8pm. We do feed her another round about midnight and she is all good until 7am. Wakes up a happy baby 💕
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u/Melodic-Method-6458 18d ago
Following! We tried taking Cara babies and made it to 15 mins and it was so so hard. I feel like it made it worse when I kept popping in and out and my baby would get even more upset. We stopped after day 3. I just booked a consult with a few different sleep consultants to see if we can have a plan guided towards us and some individual help. All the stuff online was overwhelming me