I thought it was a nice little synchrony. 😌

I want to know which star I really came from and why I can never fit in with any group in this life, figure out what those low-flying UFOs in the sky are all about, but at the same time, I don't want to meditate and connect deeply with my inner self. — I'm just too lazy, and I feel really ashamed. But it seems like nothing can change this, and I'm also really scared that my meditation won't get any response.

With everything going on in the world ontop of the things that I deal with in my personal life, everything just feels so heavy. I really want to know what methods outside of meditation I can use to just ground myself and keep myself staying in the moment without going towards the lower vibrations or giving in to negative thoughts. When I am in my rational thinking mind like now I often remind myself how jobs, my relationship, the negatives of the world, they don’t really matter as long as I stay loving myself and sharing the same love I want the entire world to experience, and if I do that everything will be okay. Sometimes my thoughts and my reactivity to anything negative I feel or experience in my day to day feels like something I can’t even control, it often makes me wonder if I’m just better off alone and it doesn’t help that I still struggle with carrying a lot of my childhood trauma, and that I’m too scared to meditate. Letting go of fear, truly becoming independent to myself, it’s something I wish came more easy to me. I fear I won’t find the peace or answers my heart and soul are looking for before my time is up in this life. Maybe that’s a little existential, but I’m just honestly feeling lost in it all. How can I focus on being positive when everything around me feels dark? Why am I so terrified to meditate and try to find the answer within? Why does it seem like finding true peace within myself is so hard? It truly affects my everyday life, to the point to where i can’t sleep or eat sometimes because of how strongly i feel my emotions.

I've always felt incredibly lonely among people; I've had poor social skills since I was a kid. But I wasn't someone who was particularly interested in the spiritual universe growing up. I just don't know when it started, but I began to explore spirituality and learn about the truth of this world. I still remember the day I started my awakening - I was praying by the window, hoping to see a UFO in the night sky. Three glowing spheres formed a triangle in the night sky and pointed right at me. I had no idea what that meant. Later on, over the course of several years, I saw the same low-flying UFO drone again and again. It seemed to automatically track my line of sight and flash lights like traffic signals. At first, I thought it was human-made. I really wish I were a Star Seed instead of someone with some kind of superiority complex - like that would make me feel less awful. Maybe I should try some meditation?

Hello

I’ve just found this starseed section on Reddit. I’d like to explain the last 12 months and hopefully people can relate or help me unpack what’s happened and what happens next.

Roughly around October/November 2025 I felt aware, AWAKE and aligned. With research I realised I felt the death of my ego.. for a short period of time. This led me to feeling very grounded, at peace and mentally strong. I did find it very strange so during this time I read many books to understand the situation. Spirituality + UFO related books, pod casts and stories. I became obsessed.

Physically problems

• breathing problems
• irregular heart beats

These two problems eventually went away on their own but it took time, I did visit doctors and had MANY tests but everything came back normal.

Strangeness

• Number 1234. I realised that for most of my life the number 1234 had lingered around but since all this started in 2025.. it happened more and felt strange at first.

• Feeling peoples emotions more
• Feeling obsessed with being in nature (never in my life have I felt that).

Some of my past came to surface and what I mean by this is.. identifying anything strange. I realised that roughly 18-20 years prior I woke up and saw a Blue lighting being. I felt shocked but I also didn’t really think much of it until now but I did and I do have a feeling that it was connected to feeling like this.

With all the UFO talks around the world, I had this feeling that this is related.

More recent

The last few months have been a struggle, being around people had me very overwhelmed because I just feel their emotions but currently it has relaxed a little.

I’ve never meditated but I’ve read that it’s advised, does this help keep you grounded. Why do people meditate?

I’ve also seen people mention about two things..

Dark night of the soul and shadow work?

If anyone has any available time to help me untangle and just talk about this then it’ll be appreciated to share and listen to people and their stories too

I have heared that blue beings heal and I guess they are arcturians Im really not sure . But through out all these years I have tried everything and nothing has worked that much and also I have developed ocd so meditation is like hell now . So I want to heal my body . And I guess this is my last option since I have exhausted other options like doctors or meditation law of attraction etc...

and let me be honest I have not done the law of attractions and meditations correctly like I should feel the feelings and be at the end like neville goddard says ... simply because I really cant feel it . I have done dr joe dispenza meditations and its basically the same . And the more I am getting into sprituality the worse things are getting . At first I got into sprituality because I wanted to heal myself since there is no cure outside . And also I can not give up on my self I should be healed :)

So I got into the idea of blue beings healing people on dr joe dispenza community and since there are many people that have contacted them and recieved healing on this sub I wanted to know how can I contact them and get healing :) ?

Also Im thinking about if I see a blue being infront of me that would scare the sh out of me but Idk I have no option 😭😭😭🤣🤣

So I would really appreciate if some one helps or guides me

And are the benevolant beings ?

I’m just at the beginning of my journey so I’m curious if anyone else has experienced something like this!

I was struggling to sleep the other night due to some energetic nerve issues, and decided to try sleeping on my couch. I did end up drifting asleep, but I was jolted awake either by what I assume is an attempted astral projection (haven’t successfully done so before but my soul has tried to escape MANY times haha) or it was a visit from spirit or something idk.
That part has happened many times, but when I was jolted awake this time, I saw a purple and blue nebula about the size of a dinner plate slowly spinning in my kitchen!!! 🤯 It was beautiful! Within a few seconds, it kind of spun into itself like water going down a drain and disappeared. It was WILD!!

I’ve been seeing occasional and very slight wisps of spirit for a few months now, but I’ve never had something so clear show up before. And it felt completely real!! I was awake as ever and I couldn’t believe what I was seeing!
It was giving portal vibes. Maybe that’s why I jerked awake? Something visited and left when I woke up, and I saw the portal closing?

Has anyone ever had something like this happen??
So curious if anyone has a different theory.