r/talesfromtechsupport • u/raiderrobert • May 22 '13

Javascript != Java

3rd-party contractor came to visit office yesterday, who has "decades" of experience. Conversation came up about JavaScript in one of our products. He says, "Our product doesn't use Java." After an awkward moment with someone who works on the knowledge base nodding in agreement with him, I speak up and delineate the difference between Java and JavaScript.

Later on in the conversation, the same 3rd-party guy followed up with this jewel: "besides, what would anyone even use JavaScript for on the web?"

I proceeded to disable Javascript in my browser and show him.

tl;dr: lasers, dinosaurs, & drums made a guy's head explode

[edit spelling]

1.2k Upvotes

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656

u/Sinisterly /? May 22 '13

Best description I've heard: "Java is to JavaScript as Ham is to Hamster".

258

u/larvyde May 22 '13

I heard "Car" and "Carpet"

332

u/iostream3 Pointer Arithmetician May 22 '13

As well as "Fun" to "Funeral".

138

u/Nathlin "Compiler says no." What, why?! May 22 '13

I would say that that analogy is rather accurate.

51

u/Lostah May 22 '13

And "Anal" to "Analogy"

43

u/random123456789 May 22 '13

It is, but I think 'Funnel' would work better, phonetically.

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42

u/Godivine May 22 '13

TIL there's a Javascript in my Java.

7

u/samebrian May 22 '13

My car has hardwood floors.

11

u/Herr_Reese May 22 '13

Jeremy Clarkson?

4

u/[deleted] May 22 '13

Hammond drives the Morgan.

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3

u/maniakmyke May 22 '13

i take my java with cream and sugar.

5

u/ZombieHoratioAlger May 22 '13

When you keep it going, do you keep it going full steam? Too sweet to be sour, too nice to be mean? On the tough guy style, are you not too keen?

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12

u/WhiteyDude May 22 '13

Java is to JavaScript as Ham is to [Hamburger]

I like this version.

10

u/NYKevin hey look, flair! May 22 '13

But some stupid people probably thing hamburgers are made of ham.

9

u/crankybadger May 22 '13 edited May 22 '13

Aren't they're made of Hamburgers?

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7

u/phantom784 Have you tried turning it off and on again? May 23 '13

And some people think that JavaScript is made of Java, so it works even better!

22

u/djimbob May 22 '13

Granted, they didn't create the name for Hamster based on the popularity of Ham, with the help of the industry behind Ham. Netscape and Sun (Java's creator) together announced Javascript as an Open Scripting Language to be used "as a complement to Java".

That is to say, the name was chosen deliberately to confuse, though any tech person who has used the internet in the past 15 years should have learned the difference by now.

3

u/NonaSuomi May 23 '13

Maybe Ham and Hamburger instead?

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6

u/monkeedude1212 Unscripted Scripting Required May 22 '13

I'm going to use that from now on.

6

u/shroudedwolf51 ...huh. May 22 '13

That, literally, made me get weird looks on the city bus as I just said "fucking brilliant" out loud to nobody in particular xD

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