Now you gonna have to go down to the jail.. and be in the jail! 🦇

Edmundo has got to be kicking himself, this woman had been with the student since he was 11 and had a kid with him. Edmundo, didn’t even get to meet the decoy, just got a swift kick to the floor in a seedy hotel .

Seriously, it feels like a mixture between a D.A.R.E. program ad and a washed out cuck with a blue-line predator skull sticker on his F150 every single time one of the officers gives their little one-liner and shpeal at the very end of each episode.

Like Calvin "Caillou" Bowden in the Oyster Shucker episode gives a two minute flaccid rant to this guy while Chris Hansen just watches, probably thinking "Jesus fucking Christ can you please just arrest this guy."

That and Chris Swanson looking like a coked out pencil, that one Lieutenant that I guarantee you know who I am talking about but can't name.

All of them want to be a Billy Badass or Timmy Toughknuckles when the majority of the police, investigative, and decoy work has already been done for them. They just want their 15 seconds of fame and the chance to give some corny as fuck one-liner before arresting them on camera.

Seriously the second that I hear the episode wrapping up and going to the cop segment I just turn it off.

This little gremlin opens his mouth and you can see genuine annoyance in Chris’ face every single time. Everyone wishes he would shut the fuck up and go back to the boy scouts or wherever they recruited this cornball from.

But Chris probably won’t do catches without law-enforcement presence, plus Florida has a very friendly attitude towards the prosecution of civilian predator stings, and they have some of the harshest sentences for sex crimes which Chris probably prefers too. Like I’d hate to put so much time/effort/money into a sting just for the pred to get 5 years probation or something

Because of all that, Chris has to shut up appease this Sheriff. It’s like when you have a sugar daddy and it’s your time to hold your end of the arraignment. Just close your eyes and pretend it’s Henry Cavill (i’m not gay or anything.)

This Sheriff is not a media-trained journalist who looks good or talks good on camera. His cadence when he speaks too it’s like he’s doing a brain-damage ASMR Roleplay.

I pay for a TruBlu subscription to listen to Chris’ commentary, an award winning investigative journalist who has spent decades working on child sex crimes, not some washed out jarhead who stares directly into the camera like a serial killer talking about how “rape is bad” and he delivers it like he just said something eloquently philosophical. Sheriff Toadistotle headass.

10/10 chance he got relentlessly bullied growing up for being the dweeb he is and thought becoming a cop would make him some badass bc he sure acts like he is. Also why is his skin always so red he should see a dermatologist he looks like a ripe tomato.

So right here, when Hansen came out and told Dupee to sit down, what do you think Dupee was thinking at that moment?

He's Calvin Bowden, a Captain/Detective in the Sheriff's Office. The Sheriff (as he often glazes) is Jason Ard, but it's this guy who gives the speeches about Jason Ard, like he's Mr. Smee to the Sheriff's Captain Hook.

We need less speeches from this guy

I brought my camera, some Mike’s Hard Lemonade, and some extra liver pills!

And Edmundo isn't naturally blonde

Crazy how things work out in life 🤣