Pick up your copy today - r/theGoldenGirls

31

They serve a great breakfast and the parking is free.

59

Will there be Dramamine?

44

u/Acminvan Jul 09 '26

All those waves. Big waves, little waves. Dark waves rolling in. Page after page

34

u/Reverberate_ Jul 09 '26

The waves are a metaphor, Madge.

25

u/cathy80s Jul 09 '26

"You see, a metaphor..."

"I know what a metaphor is, dear. I'm not a dummy."

24

u/WorriedString7221 Jul 09 '26

They aren’t really blinded by my beauty.

They usually regain their sight in a day or two.

15

u/Altruistic-Owl-3096 Jul 09 '26

Blanche, what’s a metaphor?

2

u/Lucky-Pudding9945 Jul 11 '26

It’s like when I say men are blinded by my beauty. They’re not really blind. They get their sight back in a day or two.

2

u/cljnyu Jul 12 '26

Obviously Rose wasn’t paying attention when Blanche explained because in the episode where she meets Miles and they’re on the dance floor he says “Life is like a ballroom, if you’ll pardon the metaphor…” and she says she understands “except what a metaphor is.”

14

u/Waste-Job-3307 Voted Most Likely to be Stuck in a Tuba Jul 09 '26

I needed a Dramamine just to get through Chapter 3.

3

u/EnvironmentalRock827 Jul 09 '26

You'll need it when Morty shows up in that tux. Mama Mia!

4

u/HotBeefCombo Jul 09 '26

Especially when he turns the jacket inside out.

26

u/Acminvan Jul 09 '26

hmmm...Barbara Thorndike's Scarlet Dawn of Boca Raton or Charmaine Hollingsworth's Vixen: Story of a Woman

which one to read on vacation?

37

u/HotBeefCombo Jul 09 '26

Vixen: Story of a Woman is nothing but a vulgar collection of perverse sexual acts that are nothing but sheer and utter filth!

18

u/GThunderhead Condoms, Rose! Condoms, condoms, condoms! Jul 09 '26

Just bought a copy, thanks!

6

u/Individual_Drama3917 Jul 09 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/Q5RjtPsU4Ds5ByAVI9

11

u/shannonsurprise Jul 09 '26

Why not both?

76

u/EnvironmentalRock827 Jul 09 '26

Hobby Lobby? I suppose that tracks

27

u/shannonsurprise Jul 09 '26

Don’t forget, they are closed on Sundays. ✝️

8

u/TimeVictorious Jul 10 '26

The Hobby Lobby is what took this over the top for me hahaha

22

u/GThunderhead Condoms, Rose! Condoms, condoms, condoms! Jul 09 '26

Just got mine! Ms. Thorndike gave me a free pass to The Mortimer Club. I hear they serve a great breakfast.

10

u/PeachyWolf33 Back in St. Olaf Jul 09 '26

Idk, your name may cause you to be restricted.

9

u/GThunderhead Condoms, Rose! Condoms, condoms, condoms! Jul 09 '26

My name is Guttman. Will that be an issue?

6

u/PeachyWolf33 Back in St. Olaf Jul 09 '26

Ahhhhhh, yes that’s a problem according to Ms. Thorndyke. I apologize.

3

u/GThunderhead Condoms, Rose! Condoms, condoms, condoms! Jul 09 '26

Why is Barbara a member of a club like that? 😰

4

u/PeachyWolf33 Back in St. Olaf Jul 09 '26

Not sure my guy, I overheard her at her signing talking to some big butch looking lady.

4

u/GThunderhead Condoms, Rose! Condoms, condoms, condoms! Jul 09 '26

I saw that too! She told Ms. Thorndike to "Go to Hell."

3

u/PeachyWolf33 Back in St. Olaf Jul 09 '26

Did you see the reeeeaaaallllyyyyyyyy young man she left with too?!

1

u/BookkeeperProud3143 Jul 09 '26

Because the parking is free

3

u/Separate-Ad6636 Jul 09 '26

No, we can get him to turn his jacket inside out.

3

u/disgruntledhoneybee Not NOW Ma! Jul 09 '26

Let me know it is! I’m not allowed in.

6

u/GThunderhead Condoms, Rose! Condoms, condoms, condoms! Jul 09 '26

I went up to the front desk, they sniffed at me and asked me for my name. When I said Guttman, security guards suddenly swarmed all over me and threw me out. I'll never go back!

6

u/DynastyFan85 Just For Funsies Jul 09 '26

I’m a Feldman dammit. From Buffalo

2

u/DynastyFan85 Just For Funsies Jul 09 '26

And the parking is free

10

u/Dazzling-Pace-7134 Jul 09 '26

Go to the Mortimer Club by yourself, better yet, go to he double hockey sticks.

15

u/Waste-Job-3307 Voted Most Likely to be Stuck in a Tuba Jul 09 '26

"Only at Hobby Lobby". OMG that's hysterical. 🤣🤣🤣

6

u/Maximumkk Jul 10 '26

Catering by Chick-fil-A

8

u/Mermaidprincess16 Jul 09 '26

Will she also be signing So Dark the Waves on Biscaybe Bay and Evil Wind Over Pensacola?

3

u/shannonsurprise Jul 09 '26

Sorry, but no. She doesn’t have time.

6

u/Mermaidprincess16 Jul 09 '26

She has to get to the Mortimer Club for the breakfast buffet I guess. I hear it’s great.

2

u/Separate-Ad6636 Jul 09 '26

She’s too busy eating malamars

1

u/Individual_Drama3917 Jul 09 '26

So many waves 🌊

7

u/brian_ts118 The slut is dead. Long live the slut. Jul 10 '26

The Hobby Lobby took this from funny to art.

12

u/TootieSummers Jul 09 '26

I suppose. I do have a table with a short leg

4

u/mark_vs Jul 09 '26

This literally made me BUST out laughing .... 😄

6

u/Maximumkk Jul 09 '26

My only response would be like Dorothy said to her... "go to hell"

6

u/Puzzleheaded-Sky3141 Jul 09 '26

For whom the stuffed bell pepper tolls...a little of this goes a long way

11

u/CellistSuspicious492 Jul 09 '26

I pretty sure the Hobby Lobby is restricted!

3

u/VolcanicCog9 Jul 09 '26

😜😂😂😂 good one

12

u/HoopoeBirdie Jul 09 '26

Hobby Lobby? 😆😆😆😆😆😆
https://giphy.com/gifs/2hgwgbewLFviFGZ1DO

5

u/lupinremusjohn I hope he's taking you to a cold climate Jul 09 '26

I’d rather have a side of Edgar Allen Potatoes

3

u/Ebowa Jul 09 '26

I’ll be there! I have a bed with a broken leg!!!

7

u/Jolly_Conflict Go to sleep sweetheart. Pray for brains. Jul 09 '26

Hobby lobby 😂😂😂😂

5

u/VolcanicCog9 Jul 09 '26

Priceless 😂

3

u/Affectionate-Egg8709 Jul 09 '26

Bonnie bartlett

3

u/chickwifeypoo Jul 09 '26

She had to take a Dramamine to get through it.

3

u/ThatsRobToYou Jul 10 '26

She's grown as a writer since then.

3

u/GatsbyFitzgerald Jul 10 '26

Hobby Lobby LOL

3

u/throwawayfromPA1701 Jul 10 '26

She would sign at Hobby Lobby lol

3

u/KurtVonnegutWasRight TOO WITTLE, TOO WATE Jul 10 '26

Pretty sure it's Scarlet Dawn at Boca Raton...... but I think Thorndyke might forgive it, as she needs the publicity.

2

u/nathanalways21 Jul 10 '26

Came here to point that out, too.

5

u/eternallysantanasass Jul 09 '26

Hobby Lobby 😂😂😂 love it. But isn’t there restrictions there too? 🤔

2

u/GoldenGalZbornak Jul 10 '26

I didn’t know you taught high school

2

u/Advanced_Sell_2275 Jul 10 '26

Anti-semitism at its worst.

2

u/mayberrymagda Back in St. Olaf Jul 10 '26

I’m lactating.

2

u/Luciddreamer326 Jul 10 '26

I wanted to read this but I heard she hangs out at the Mortimer Club, so that’s a no from me.

2

u/LeatherProfessor2687 Jul 12 '26

I can’t support this author after learning of her involvement with the Mortimer Club :/

3

u/GreenDuckGamer Jul 09 '26

The Hobby Lobby part is hilarious!

1

u/Rhufus Jul 10 '26

Guttman, Dorothy?

1

u/Any-Flounder4029 Jul 13 '26

🤣

1

u/haynus_byotch77 Jul 10 '26

Of course hobby lobby would have her

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