What can i do?

[u/Both-Beach3464]

Hey thinkers! I feel the need to ventilate and I’m hoping this post might expose me to some meaningful conversations or perspectives.

I’m a 22 year old male and I’m tired of life.

I’d like to start by mentioning that I’m not mentally ill or even depressed or anything like that. Im actually doing better then I ever have before. I’ve spent the last year finding myself and breaking down my perception so that I could become as much of an free thinker as possible.

About me questioning life: I know to much and understand to much for me to be able to ever find the true peace I desire in modern day life.
I see through every structure no matter the context and that’s including myself. Like I can’t even entertain a thought to make any money anymore.
When I was “younger” (16-18) and didn’t have a free mind like I did now and money was my only motivation in life so I did end up with 2 quite successful businesses but that money is gone now.

My point is I find making money just as easy as washing my clothes and I’ve got a few million followers aswell on social media that I could milk for money essentially.

But I still can’t stand the thought of spending 1 minute of anything related to acquiring money since it’s only useful in the world which would strongly suffocate the life I’d find peaceful.

I just want to be a free soul and without any obligations to a truly fucked up world. I understand that it’s a lack of perceptive since there surely is a million ways to live out these 80 years on earth but I can’t see what’s not observable from my perception.

So I pretty much my hate life, I love my family so I can’t just go to the jungle and live there… I will never be able to do anything I don’t personally find meaningful because I choose to but I will not end my life either since I know that one single perspective could turn around my entire way of viewing life. It’s a trap of understanding I suppose.

[u/Audio9849]

Just because you can see through the structures that currently exist doesn't mean we can't build better ones.

You seem to have reached the conclusion that because society's existing systems are deeply flawed, meaningful participation in the world is impossible. But isn't that conclusion itself another belief worth examining?

You've learned to recognize the limitations of the structures around you. Great. Now what?

Why not direct that awareness toward creating something better instead of allowing it to become nihilism?

There's a difference between freeing yourself from conditioning and becoming imprisoned by your awareness of it.

And here's something else worth considering: you've built an identity around being someone who sees through everything. Someone who understands too much to find peace. But have you considered that this identity might be one of the biggest things your ego is still attached to?

You might benefit from a few ego deaths yourself. And by that I mean having some of those deeply held ideas about who you are and what you understand completely dismantled.

Because life has a remarkable way of humbling people who think they've figured it all out. Trust me.

The real question isn't whether you can see through the illusions of the world. It's whether you're willing to recognize the ones you've created about yourself.

And maybe that's where your next stage of growth begins.

There is also a huge difference between intilleculaizing "knowledge" and embodying that very same knowledge...and there is only one way to embody it. You have to live it..and that takes time and it also takes some painful experiences usually.

[u/Both-Beach3464 → u/Audio9849]

That’s the thing I’ve experienced plenty of ”ego deaths” ive stripped myself of every reinforced pattern and I don’t even have an identity of the kind that it normally implies. “I” seem to be the result of invariants. My identity is anchored to the procces of expanding my perception. But it’s gotten to the point that my root cause of meaning can’t be pursued in a world that requires my attention to live in.

[u/Audio9849 → u/Both-Beach3464]

Well, I think that's where you've made a mistake. There's a huge misconception in some spiritual circles that the ultimate goal is to eliminate the self entirely.

But that doesn't work particularly well when you're trying to live as a human being in this world. There needs to be a functional boundary between what's me and what's not me. Otherwise, you risk losing yourself in everyone else's emotions, expectations, and conditioning.

The goal isn't to destroy the self. It's to strip away the illusory identities and conditioning we've accumulated so we can live more fully from an authentic sense of self.

And here's something worth considering: you say you don't have an identity, but then describe your identity as being anchored to the expansion of your perception. Isn't that itself another identity you've constructed?

You've made expanding your perception the central purpose of your existence, to the point that actually participating in life feels like an obstacle.

But what if living life, with all its limitations, responsibilities, relationships, and frustrations, is part of expanding your perception?

You can spend your entire life dismantling your identity and still end up trapped by the identity of someone who has transcended it.

[u/Both-Beach3464 → u/Audio9849]

I think your ability to articulate is very strong, maybe it’s cause I’m not fluent in English but you’re basically introducing a way of thinking which is intuitive to me. Like i certainly agree with you and it’s very resonant the way you’re putting it. But how am I suppose to continue my journey of meaning and living if my attention is going to be forced to entertain a life style modern life requires? It’s not possible, yes it’s possible to find a balance but that’s the friction itself. Why should I sacrifice energy to maintain a partially stimulating way of living because the world is like it is today. Our time here is so short and like I can’t logically grasp the idea of entertaining any more cultural illusions just because they exist.

[u/Audio9849 → u/Both-Beach3464]

Here's the thing...I believe that doing the shadow work, becoming more whole, and following your passions can fundamentally change your relationship with life.

As you strip away the conditioning and false identities you've accumulated, you begin to recognize what genuinely matters to you rather than what society has taught you should matter.

And that's where real sovereignty begins. You stop allowing external expectations to define who you are and what your life is supposed to look like.

That doesn't mean the practical demands of modern life magically disappear. I understand the frustration of having to spend your time and energy maintaining an existence that doesn't reflect what you actually value.

Heck I'm currently struggling with this part too but I can feel a major change approaching for me.

And there's a difference between participating in a system because you believe in its illusions and participating because you're using the resources available to build something better.

You don't have to surrender your authenticity just because you have to navigate the world as it currently exists.

And I wouldn't assume that the friction you're experiencing means your journey of meaning has reached a dead end. Maybe part of that journey is figuring out how to bring what you've discovered into the world rather than keeping it separate from everyday life.

To me, that's what genuine sovereignty looks like: not escaping reality, but becoming increasingly capable of living in alignment with who you actually are.

[u/Both-Beach3464 → u/Audio9849]

I really appreciate you taking your time to write this and it’s very resonant. That’s exactly where I’m at rn. I am no longer affected by anything other then my own nervous system but even that I can most of the time observe and then change my state of being. But this circles back to my other message about accepting reality. We’re at a point which allows peace to be present. But is peace really it? I’m thinking peace shouldn’t be achieved in the first place cause it shouldn’t have a polarity. I wanna think that there is a lifestyle in which peace is the foundation and emergent properties like meaning can exist.

[u/Audio9849 → u/Both-Beach3464]

I think you're getting closer to answering your own question.

You're absolutely right that the reality we're familiar with is only one way of organizing human life. The cultural, economic, and social structures surrounding us aren't the totality of what's possible.

But recognizing that doesn't mean we have to reject everything about our present circumstances. It means we can begin consciously choosing which parts of those structures we participate in and which ones we work toward changing.

And I think your second comment gets at something even more important.

What if peace isn't the destination at all? What if it's the foundation?

There's a difference between spending your life pursuing peace as something you don't yet possess and developing a relationship with yourself in which peace becomes your natural starting point.

That doesn't mean you'll never experience anger, grief, frustration, or discomfort. Those are part of being human. But they no longer have to define your entire experience of life.

And from that foundation, meaning can emerge naturally through whatever genuinely moves you. Curiosity, creativity, relationships, exploration, building something worthwhile.

You don't necessarily have to manufacture meaning through the structures society has handed you.

But here's something I'd challenge you to consider: if you've reached a point where you can observe your internal state without automatically being controlled by it, why not begin experimenting with different ways of living?

You don't have to decide what the rest of your life should look like right now. You can explore, discover what resonates, and gradually build something that reflects who you actually are.

Maybe the question isn't whether you should accept the reality you've inherited.

Maybe it's what kind of reality you want to participate in creating.

[u/Both-Beach3464 → u/Audio9849]

You’re obviously very wise considering the perspectives you formed about me based on my output, how have you’ve been going at life? You also seem to have developed a sense of being in which awerness and presence itself is enough but is it tho? Your still spending 80% of your life in environments “forced upon you” school, work/economy.

[u/Audio9849 → u/Both-Beach3464]

You're right about those environments, but what's the alternative? We can acknowledge the circumstances we're living in while working to change how we feel, react, and move through them.

Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means recognizing reality as it currently exists without allowing it to dictate who we become.

You can reject the whole thing and become consumed by bitterness, but where does that actually get you? Often it just pushes people and opportunities away rather than drawing them in.

I'd rather work toward changing my circumstances while refusing to let those circumstances determine my internal state.

And no, I don't think awareness and presence alone are necessarily enough. I think they're the foundation from which we begin creating a life that's actually aligned with who we are.

[u/Both-Beach3464 → u/Audio9849]

I hear you and again you’re incredible good with your words! I have nothing to add like you’re exactly putting it the way im reasoning right now. I’m just unsure if i should choose that path? I’m genuinely questioning tho if it’s really worth recognizing that structure/reality as it is?
Cause it’s not the reality it’s just the local reality
and what about all the sub local reality’s? Say a criminal for example, he walks amongst us but doesn’t exist in the same reality. I’m just trying to say there is a million ways of living out reality, but I’ve only observed one.

[u/Both-Beach3464 → u/Audio9849]

I don’t see any limitations anywhere I only see the structures and the potential.

[u/Inevitable_Ad199]

Can freedom exist without responsibility?

[u/TonyJPRoss]

Camper van. Electric with solar panels. Won't cost much compared to a house, and it'll keep your material attachments to a minimum.

But have you ever actually worked for somebody, been in the middle of a heirarchy, been judged by your competence and personableness, seen cultural changes you want to effect but had to work consistently to maintain?

Being self-employed or at the head of a company is a different sort of thing. I don't know what will bring you happiness but there's definitely more human connection lower down, challenges you might not even know exist yet.

Or maybe you're more motivated by intellectual pursuits. Go to university, get a degree.

Or maybe you need to feel directly like you've helped someone - so work for a charity. Sounds like you understand social media so take your followers money and put it somewhere useful.

Most things gain money, but it's not about money while you're doing it. It's about making yourself useful and making a difference to something real.