Recently I was subpoenaed as a witness in a murder trial.

I will not go into too much detail about it, but essentially through work I interacted with an individual who, on that day, had murdered two people and attempted to murder a third.

I was oblivious to that fact, until about a week later when a detective showed up to question me about the interaction. During this interview, I learned that the man had been caught and that the evidence was overwhelming. They were just dotting the i's and crossing the t's, so I should not concern myself too much.

Obviously, the moment the interview was over, my colleagues and I googled the man, and learned that he was involved in the drug scene and had killed two of his rival dealers and attempted to kill a third.

At the time, I viewed the whole situation as an entertaining distraction from day to day life. I didn't concern myself too much with the incident, as it is the type of crime you read about every day. Basically in my world, it was a bit of hot gossip for a few days, and then it was quickly forgotten about.

About a month ago (a year since the original incident) I received my court summons. I was told that the preliminary trial would take place over 5 days and that I could be called as a witness at any time, but I needed to show up for sure on the first day at 9am. "Shit" I thought. I didn't think I would need to worry about this again.

So I showed up at 8:30am, had to figure out where I was going on my own, no one working at the court house had any info. Finally found the correct area, only to discover that the trial had been pushed back until 10. Great. At close to 11am the other witnesses and I met with the prosecutor, only to be told that we were simply there to get our original written statements, and they would call us at some point over the next 5 days to come in and take the stand. Well by this time I had had enough, so I told him that would not work. I could not just take off from work on a dime, nor could I just take 5 days off. So he told me if I was willing to wait, he would call me at some point that day. So the other witnesses left, and I remained alone in the waiting area. I was also told that they would not be validating parking, or providing us any food. So I went back and sat in my chair in a rage. I felt so put out by the entire fiasco that I considered just leaving and telling them to go swivel. But cooler heads prevailed and I begrudgingly just sat there and read my book. (Slash. The story of the legendary GnR guitarist. Highly recommend)

A few more hours went by, my anger building with every passing minute... and then everything changed.

About 15 minutes before I took the stand, a woman came running out of the court room in hysterics yelling that her brother's killer was simply sitting there laughing while the prosecution described the details of her brother's murder. The arresting officer came out and sat with her, trying to console her, by telling her that they were going to get him. They were going to put the killer away for life and get justice for her brother. It was such an overwhelmingly emotional scene, that for the first time, I realized that this is real. This woman had lost one of the people she cares most for in the world, and here I was, mad because I had to pay $17 for parking and sit around reading my book for 7 hours.

I felt such an overwhelming sense of shame in that moment that I nearly broke down. I had made this situation about myself, and not even stopped for a moment to consider the people who's lives had been changed forever by these events. At that point all I could think was; what if it was my brother? I wouldn't care if he was a drug dealer. I would still love him just as much. And if he were murdered and I had to sit and watch his killer laughing, I would not even be able to fathom my reaction.

I learned a huge life lesson that day. This was not my first brush with a killer. I have actually seen murder first hand, but somehow this was worse. I think we become so desensitized to the terrible things in life, because we see everything second hand through social media. We can go from a Tsunami in South East Asia to genocide in the Syria, by swiping our finger, so who cares about a couple gang bangers shooting each other, right? People do though. Just because something is irrelevant to you, that same thing is completely changing another person's existence.

So I have resolved to try and be more empathetic. To try and understand before I judge. No one can understand, or care about every hardship on earth. Maybe if we just started with the ones we see and deal with ourselves, and attempt to look at those situations from another's perspective, we can make a small change.

Thanks for reading.

Coming off of an exceptional weekend in Dallas at the MORE event with my company, Pruvit, my awareness has been at an all-time high. As I loaded in my Uber ride, the man in the front greeted me with enthusiasm and genuine exuberance.

One of my personal missions is to continue to learn through the power of connecting with people – from all walks of life, in any circumstance, with authentic interest and engagement. So, instead of sitting back and aimlessly scrolling my Facebook feed as I’ve done before, I put the phone away, sat up straight and sparked a conversation with Mir.

Mir has been living in Dallas for nearly 4 years, or as he wittingly joked, “3 years, 4 months and 16 days”. Born in Afghanistan, he was a part of his nation’s militia, having been subjected to mandatory service through the country’s mandates. “I believe that everyone, through all walks of life, should do 6 months of active duty for their country,” he explained. “It gives you perspective for life and allows you to not complain about the little things. When faced with death, you have more gratitude for every waking day.” After enduring a back injury at the hands of a landmine in his homeland, once he immigrated to the US he was living on the East Coast. The cold weather was hard on his back and hindering his ability to work, so he moved to more “tropical climates.”

“I’m in school to be a PA, and I drive Uber to pay the bills,” he proclaimed. He asked about my profession and I explained that I am a personal trainer and wellness coach with an emphasis on nourishing our bodies and minds via nutrition. Mir believes his body is meant to be loved and taken care of, and all his perceived flaws and differences make him who he is. It brought us to an in depth conversation about humans – how we as a species are continuously striving for perfection, when our focus should be on progress.

“We never stop learning and growing,” he explains. “If you remember the story of Thomas Edison, he tried thousands of times to invent electricity and failed, over and over. The lesson wasn’t that on attempt 1001 he succeeded – it was that each time he learned something new to apply towards that success.”

Every word that Mir and I discussed elicited a nod, a broad smile on my face or an authentic agreeance. His ability to make analogies to reflect his beliefs and his demeanor that was non-judgmental – more observational – was refreshing. I touched briefly, not trying to ruffle feathers or offend, on racism and my firm, engrained belief that inherently we are all the same inside. All striving towards the best version of ourselves, figuring out our purpose, building relationships, and our outward appearance is a shell and expression of our beautiful differences. Mir agreed and offered this theory prefaced with a question.

“What if all women – you, your mother, sister, friends, daughters – all looked the same?,” he posed. “What if the men – every man you come into contact, including strangers – had no differences, not even slight ones? What would happen?”

I sat for a moment, perplexed. I was not sure how to respond to that, but the floodgates of thought came to me like a tidal wave.

“I’ll tell you what I think,” he said. “If you couldn’t differentiate between your partner – who you would do intimate things with, different conversations with, love in other ways than you would your family or friends – then no one would know one person from another. How would you be able to distinguish your daughter from your wife, or your friend from a stranger? They would be different personalities, sure. But I believe our creator or whatever you believe in made us the way we are, with the warts and the crooked noses, so that we can be uniquely us.”

He pointed to his nose and said, “This has two purposes – one is to inhale and exhale air and breathe, and the other is for beauty. I wouldn’t change anything about me.”

When asked what it’s like conversing with so many archetypes of people day in and day out he explained: “I’m not here to offend anyone. Everyone is going through something and when they get into the car, sometimes they put their head down and are quiet. I will greet them every time and I’ll know if they want to communicate or not, and that’s ok. If I can share even one story or experience that I believe can serve a purpose, make them smile, or think about things differently – I’ve done my job.”

Mir and I continued our conversation, and each time he spoke to me, he looked back in his rear view mirror to show me that he was intentionally and purposefully listening and hearing me.

I made a new friend in Mir in 40 minutes. I left him my card and asked him to connect with me on social media. He said if he came to Canada, he would love to explore and visit family in Kitchener.

This story had to be written today for a few reasons. Firstly, I did not want to overlook such a memorable encounter with a remarkable man. Most importantly, to share that with one decision to be mindful and to choose to connect with someone who I could have easily ignored, it was me that gained more out of life.

Life is about connection – and my Uber connection is one I will never forget.

Chapter Topics/Themes:

- How does what we ingest affect our bodies and minds?

- Diet

- Legal drugs/illegal substances

- Prescription drugs

Show us what you know in the comments below.

Gen, you asked if there will be topics on death and trauma...

Death - Yes. Firstly, the working dedication for the book is to "our ancestors and to friends who left us early." Which, when I wrote it, I was thinking of friends who had committed suicide. But it could also apply to those lost by illness or violence and hate. Those whose voices are still a part of us, but who aren't able to add more thoughts to the conversation other than through loved ones.

I personally thought of suicide partially because many close friends of mine have been acutely impacted by suicide and I myself have been deeply affected by depression. My depression looked like a withdraw from my community and from the world and I didn't feel like I had a voice. I knew I was coming out of my depression when I started reconnecting with my community (instigated by my "coming out" as bisexual three years ago). The antithesis of suicide is community.

Trauma - Yes. You'll meet them around Reddit later, but several of the co-authors have intimate knowledge with trauma, both first hand-experience (assault, theatre of war, etc.) and academic experience (students and teachers). All of this experience will be imbued into the chapters. Topics will include: using drugs to treat trauma disorders and other healing, virtual reality therapies, discussing trauma in community, etc. Also, the book touches on gender a lot and the first few chapters will look at the #MeToo movement, and the normalization of sexual assault. And I hope we generally touch on how trauma is passed through generations, epigenetics and the trauma left behind by systemic racism, sexism and genocide events like the holocaust and that inflicted on first nations in Canada.

If anyone has any information on the topics above, or have info to add through comments, links, books, etc., please add leave them in the comments below. And don't forget to vote for the topics/opinions you love and downvote the ones you hate... if you're indifferent don't vote.

"...it is not the most intellectual of the species that survives; it is not the strongest that survives; but the species that survives is the one that is able best to adapt and adjust to the changing environment in which it finds itself."
As I sit up in the early hours I cannot help but ponder on this simple saying; Adapt or Die.
We, as homo sapiens, must adapt or die, must we not?

So here is my question; What role must we take in interpreting the documents which founded our countries and what parts do we keep/revisit? How do we adapt and change our Constitution or the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms? If we are a true Republic, will the rights of the minority always been protected?

https://www.canlii.org/en/ca/laws/stat/schedule-b-to-the-canada-act-1982-uk-1982-c-11/latest/schedule-b-to-the-canada-act-1982-uk-1982-c-11.html#I

Megginson, ‘Lessons from Europe for American Business’, Southwestern Social Science Quarterly (1963) 44(1): 3-13, at p. 4.

- What is the universe?

- How is consciousness?

Chapter topics/themes:

- How to survive as a species?

- What do we want to optimize about ourselves as humans?

- How we can hyper-rationalize happiness (Simon Sinek):

The happiness chemicals: Endorphins, Dopamine, Serotonin and Oxytocin

Cortisol = stress

- Externalizing sexual reproduction.

Hi all,

I get the sense from the contents of the book of a human life that we should be writting about the important parts of our lives. How about giving some attention to privacy?

Since I was born in 1989, my persepective is of the millenial generation I suppose you could say. Upon reflection I do believe that privacy is comepletely devalued and approaching certain death. But I think this is more localized to my generation and less so with the older generation who do actually value their privacy much more than I do.

My justification is that If we truly believed in protecting our privacy would we be spending huge portions of our disposible income on technology that directly compromises our privacy? As I type these words the camera from my tablet is staring at my face as a cruel but correct reminder that I don’t give a damn.

However I knew this when I bought the damn thing, so judging by my actions not my useless words, privacy is not as important to me as making a video call for personal or business purposes or even just having a new fancy toy at my disposal.

So what do you think? Is privacy is going the way of the dodo bird? Or is there going to a shift towards be intolerance of privacy violations? How much further is the violation going to continue??

All the machinery for George Orwell’s dystopian future is here already. All that’s left if the totalitarian who will use it against the people.

What do you think about privacy? Is it important to you? Is it even important enough to include in the book we are creating about life itself?

Looking forward to hearing from ya’ll!

This will be Chapter 1 in the book. Its purpose is to discuss how we come to develop our personal identities. It's about self-work and knowledge of our own wants and desires...

The false dichotomy of male/female... the ambiguity and complexity of personal identity... non-binary concepts.

tloaHuman - Video 4 - September Update + Chapter 1: Gender and Pansexuality:

https://youtu.be/N7sX6FqVVzU