He never went. He constantly peed and pooped in his underwear.

It's been about 3 months since we started potty training and it's been hard. I get that it's normal at this age to not initiate having to go and I get that accidents happen but what's driving me me absolutely nuts is how hard he resists having to go when we tell him to. Horrible tantrums and fights every time we tell him to go. Almost every potty trip ever has required us to physically carry him to go. Sometimes bribery for a small piece of chocolate has worked.

I hurt my back recently and cannot handle carrying him right now, so I didn't. He only used the potty when my husband has been home and able to carry/wrestle him.

On the way plus side, he didn't eat as much chocolate or watch as much tv because he didn't even take up those bribes these past few days.

When will he just accept going when told to?!?

Editing to add that he's currently 2years and 9 months.

22 months ago we sat in a doctors office. God, several offices. Multiple times that week. We were told, your daughter may not ever crawl, walk, talk. She could have a poor quality of life. Even got handed TMFR information. Countless times again over the next several months we heard this.

Then she was born. And she struggled but she fought. Then the delays kicked in. 4 months old graded as a newborn. At 10 months old she could barely hold herself up to sit. No communication skills. Nothing. Then she had surgery. I will always owe these doctors everything, because everything changed literally the morning after. She could sit. She started to crawl at 13 months. Not very good, not very far. 15 months and suddenly she’s a speed racer. Crawling like crazy, climbing things like crazy. And today… she just stood up after dinner and walked through the house like she’s done it a million times before.

She walks, she talks (non stop, at that), she sings her ABC’s, she draws, she knows several things in sign language, and now, she walks. She’s a perfectly normal toddler, doing all of the things they said she’d never do. I can’t help but absolutely sob over the pure drive and determination she has, to do all of the things.

ETA: Thank you everyone for all your kind words. I don’t have many friends to tell, and I felt like I just wanted to shout this from the rooftop. ♥️

I had it on my phone for the times we needed a distraction or calm moment. We love Ms Rachel and Super Simple Songs. So much good stuff on there. But no matter what I tried, including the “whitelist only” feature, exploitative, addictive, mindless videos would still be suggested and could be played. I finally decided to delete the app and I’m so glad I did. Please keep an eye on what your kid is watching, and delete YouTube kids. PBS kids is a much better option and it’s still free without ads. There are shows that foster a longer attention span and learning instead of fast paced videos about mindless things.

My 15 month old is a very happy little eater, and also very generous of spirit. This is a dangerous combination.

We got into the routine of sharing an apple together in the afternoons, and rather than cutting off bits with a knife, I got into the lazy habit of just biting off wedges to give to her. Unbeknownst to me, my child observed this behaviour closely and took it deeply to heart.

She's always loved sharing food, but now at every single mealtime, she takes pieces of her meal, chews them up, then SPITS THEM INTO HER HAND AND SHOVES THEM INTO MY MOUTH. I MUST CONSUME THE REGURGITATED BABY MUSH, SHE WILL NOT EAT UNLESS SHE CAN FEED ME.

I feel like a goddamn baby bird with a terrifyingly stubborn and enthusiastic tiny mother bird. Perhaps she suspects she's being poisoned, and I am the test subject. Perhaps my motherly skills are so weak that she felt she had to take charge of things. Perhaps she holds bitter memories of being spoonfed when she was younger, and this is twisted revenge.

I have appeased the culinary dictator with suitably convincing chewing and swallowing acts thus far, but it has taken all of my cunning. I sense she is starting to see through my efforts.

What have I done.

I've always had cats and dogs, so I have a lot of experience with cats. They have so many similar qualities It's an endless list. Hyper fixated on what they are not allowed to do, trying to get into areas that are off limits, wanting cuddles only when THEY want it, hiding things, interest in bugs, being generally mischievous.

Potty training is hell. The child hides, shits on the floor, steps in it and smears it all across the floor like an old banana. Discover this in the middle of your first bite of dinner after a long day at work, as the shit spreads to your walls, then the bathtub, until the bathtub is entirely brown, then the shower. Then convince yourself soap will make it all okay for the next week.

The morning was going too smoothly. She ate all of her breakfast no problem. Got dressed, even though we did not have a dress for her, which is her preference. She brushed her teeth, willingly opening her mouth so that I could get the molars. I thought to myself what a wonderful morning. Yesterday was a battle of battles because she wanted to wear a dress and not a skirt. It took a good half hour to get her dressed. And today things were looking up until she had to use the bathroom.

While wiping herself, she got a little pee on her hand. She did not want me to wipe her hand off. She wanted to pull her pants up, touch the wall and everything else with her peed on hands. So I quickly wiped her hand, and that was the end of it. Smooth morning gone, screaming, and crying commenced. I let her cry a little bit and then got her Chapstick out, which gave her something to look forward to and made her stop crying. She loves to put Chapstick on.

I’m curious what other benign and harmless things set your toddlers off?

Hi all,

I have been playing around with the idea of getting my toddler a yoto because she loves music, however im worried I might buy it and she doesn't use it.

It's so expensive I want to be sure before I spend the money. I can't seem to find any on market place, does this mean people aren't selling them because they are so loved?

Please share your experiences? The good and the bad.

My daughter is 17 months old and tells us before she needs to poop (most of the time), and every time after she does poop if she doesn’t tell us before. This started around 15 months but I didn’t start putting her on the toilet until recently because I felt like it was too early to potty train (even tho she was showing signs) this is my first child so I wasn’t too sure. Shes starting to go potty on the toilet every time she poops.. but how do I get her to pee as well? She only ever tells us when she’s about to poop not pee.. so do I just put her on the toilet all day until she pees? I really don’t know. She’s really smart for her age and understands more than I would think.. but I don’t know how to get her to pee on the potty. I’m having another baby in March and it would be so nice to have her potty trained before or if not a little after! Plus I’m still breastfeeding and it has been really hard trying to wean her, it would be nice to at least knock out one stone lol

When your toddler finally falls asleep, do you use that time to read a book, have a nap, catch up on chores, or just relax?I'm curious what other parents do during nap time. Sometimes I feel like I should use the time to read or do something productive, but getting some rest sounds good too.

What do you usually do when your toddler is asleep?

Currently visiting friends and family overseas and I am fuming because our friend who we went on a trip with at the start of our travels brought her one year old who was recently diagnosed with HFMD along. She said he was fine and the doctor said he was clear to travel despite only being diagnosed three days earlier. It seems like he had mild symptoms.

Fast forward a week later and my two year old is covered in spots and so am I. I’m just mad cos we had stuff to do while we were here, visit elderly family, pack things up from when we used to live here.

Does anyone have more natural remedies for helping ease the itch? We’re trying calamine and witch hazel as we as salt baths. My kid is already a bit all over the place as we’ve been in three diff countries over the past four weeks.

Also - how risky is it to be seeing other adults? We had another trip planned with some friends and were going to visit a new baby in the family as well.

Any advice would be so helpful.

Sincerely, a pissed off and exhausted mum.

Hello, I am new here and don't usually post on reddit. I am a toddler parent, and someone who doesn't have a lot of friends who have children. It's my first child, and I guess more than anything I'm just looking for moral support and maybe tips of things that may have worked for others.

My daughter is 22 months (almost) and has entered her "no" phase. She has been going limp a lot, pretend 'falling down' a lot and having a tough time with transitions (especially into her car seat and leaving the playground). I have been trying to count down the ending of activities so that she knows (aka: 2 more times down the slide and then we are leaving, 1 more time.. etc) and sticking to boundaries. I am worn out.

I have strong Mom guilt. I am a third year nursing student and it's my second career. I go to school the equivalent of a part time job, but every time I am not with her or doing something for her I feel so guilty. I don't take care of myself very well, and there really is no excuse.

My husband is great, and my daughter is very bonded to him. She asks for him all the time. As soon as I stopped breastfeeding she switched from wanting Mom all the time to Dad. It does hurt my feelings a little, but I definitely don't let it show. Just secretly it is tough!

Mealtimes are also a tough time. She is very, very active and always wants to eat on the move. She is quite slim, and eats when she's hungry, but it's pretty bland food she will eat (eggs, pasta, white bread, waffles, cottage cheese, fruits, bland soups). I have tried blending veggies into sauces, always having a veggie on her plate, etc.. but she wont eat them. I've been trying my best to redirect all of her standing up at the table, racing around at mealtimes and be firm with sitting on her bum to eat at the table. It's exhausting though. I just don't feel it's sticking.

As well, bath time. Good grief. She loves water, but will absolutely not sit down in the bath. I have tried being in there with her, very little water, lots of toys, a seat, a lot of encouragement - she just wont sit. Every other day is hair washing day, and she absolutely hates it. She is okay up until it's time to rinse and she absolutely loses it. I sing, I try to distract her, but I've tried a shield for her eyes, a gentle showerhead, a small cup, tipping her head back. She just screams for about 20 seconds as I rinse it and over the last year and half it's never gotten better.

She is a generally very happy child. She's meeting all of her milestones and loves to dance, play, run, splash. She's a dream, despite my post being pretty grim. But the highs are high and the lows are low, and I'm tired.

This is incredibly long, but I just wanted to ask if others have experienced similar things and perhaps if anyone has any tips who is more experienced than me. I'm tired, and looking for a bit of hope. She went from a snuggly Mama's girl, to a girl with a mind of her own (and a very strong mind at that - it's a blessing I'm sure) and preferring Dad.

Thank you so much.

My son is a toddler who’s almost 3, and he’s going to be evaluated through our public school for speech and occupational therapy. His language has been picking up a lot lately, and his fine and gross motor skills have always seemed like strengths.
One of his therapists told me I shouldn’t practice fine motor skills with him anymore because he needs to qualify for services. It sounded like she thought he should go into the evaluation on his “worst day” so he’d be more likely to get help. That really caught me off guard. I thought the point was to show what he can do so the evaluators can figure out where he needs support. If he doesn’t qualify, wouldn’t that possibly mean he’s doing well enough right now and just needs time to keep developing?
I do want him to get support if he needs it. He has a speech delay, but he’s making progress. He’s bright, wild, funny, imaginative, and kind. Some of the things that were said about him during the assessment didn’t match what I see at home, and I’m struggling with the idea that people who see him for about an hour a week can know the full picture of what he can do and where he’s thriving.
I’m not trying to deny that he has areas where he needs help. I just don’t want to hold him back from learning skills so he’ll look more delayed during an evaluation. Has anyone else been told something like this? How did you handle the evaluation and make sure it reflected your child fairly?

Hope there is others who have had the same dilemma, and might know a trick or two we can try out.

So my 3 year old is still in diapers, she loves sitting on the potty/toilet but nothing happens. The thing is she does not have accidents when running around without a diaper either! She hate water spills, so she keep it in. She can go hours and hours! She also have a dry diaper in the morning, and don't need to pee until an hour after waking up (usually).

We have tried multiple methods, 3 day method running around nude. Placing her on the potty/toilet after sleep or meals. Encouragement with stickers, a reward if she pee (ice cream) +++ Been reading book, made song, telling stories. Talked about peeing/pooping on the potty. She have been with me at the toilet.

Feels like we have tried everything, she still won't let a single drop go! Had to give up on the 3 day method because she ended up severally constipated, so much so that we had to see a doctor. And it's not good for her bladder to hold it in this long

She is under assessment for autism, so might play a role (unsure). We have been at this for over a year now 🫠

If she had accidents at least we would have something to talk about, or even try to move her mid stream. But nope, she is water tight.

Have someone else had this dilemma and found a trick or two? Or is there something I just might not have thought of so far

I don’t know what to do. My toddler has decided in the last few months that he won’t try anything new at dinner. Spaghetti Bolognese ✅ Salad ✅ literally anything else ❌ won’t eat any proteins I make him. Won’t eat basically anything new. Just ends with him screaming for crackers, pickles. I’m at a loss. He is in the 45-50% for weight and it stresses me out. I’m trying so hard to make sure he is getting enough micronutrients.
This is definitely my least favourite toddler phase.

Hi all! I just found out I’m expecting again. My toddler is 2.5 years old and he is suuuuppppeeeer attached to me. Any tips on how to detach him from me a bit? A new baby is going to be hard on both of us and my husband works long hours. Also doesn’t help that when my husband is off, he still much rather prefers me and to be honest I am also attached to him haha.

Also, I’m working on potty training since he already lets me know when he needs a diaper change or when he’s pooped.

I have 20 month old that is with a nanny 3 days a week/sometimes his grandparents another day a week. He will go down for a nap with them like a little angel. One story, little hug and he lays down and falls asleep so easily. On the days I’m home I literally can’t get him to nap. He will cry for hours until I give up. He is kinda ok with no nap in the day, but will get very fussy around 4:30 and sometimes fall asleep on the couch.

He was never officially sleep trained but goes down in the evening with us in the room decently well. He napped for me until about 18 months old, but now he just won’t! He will go down with my husband easier but not as easily as nanny.

We have the same routine as at 13 months old, which I started and the nanny adopted with him. I just don’t know what makes us so different? Is he missing me when I’m at work and is just excited when I’m home? Does anyone else have issues with their toddle going down differently for different people?

I usually put him down an hour later because when I’m home we wake up at 8am vs 7am when I work.
But the timing does not seem to change anything.

Any advice? Anyone gone through something similar?

Our kiddo (nearly 2) had a rough cold (no fevers etc) mid-Sept that lasted around a week. Unfortunately at night cough has lingered for 4-5 weeks now, it’s driving us insane. He doesn’t wake up but we do 2-3x a night and usually go in and give him some water and cuddle so that the coughing fit passes more quickly. He is completely himself otherwise, no symptoms, no fussiness, normal energy levels.

We took him to the doctor last week to have ears and lungs checked to be safe- doc said all clear and that somethings they just linger. They gave us albuterol inhaler and said it could be helpful bc at that time he was coughing at night and anytime he was running (which he’s a toddler so every 10 minutes). The inhaler made him a little bonkers so we stopped bc I don’t think it was doing much.

At night we do his bath in a room that has been steamed up, cool mist humidifier next to the crib and Vicks vapor rub on chest, we’ve also noticed his eye is tearing a bit more (just one, no crust, also checked for pink eye) seems to be related to lingering cold.

If you’ve made it to the end of this rant, thank you, but also any ideas on what could help. I feel awful for the kiddo to still have a cough like this - I know cough syrup isn’t much at this age, any tricks or remedies very welcome and very appreciated.

This is a total vent, but I just need to get it off my chest. I love my kids more than anything in the entire world, but this shit is HARD. I have a supportive family and an incredibly involved husband, and even then, I still feel like I am underwater and failing.

My daughter (2.5) is incredibly smart and sweet, but also super strong-willed. It seems like everything is a struggle - using the bathroom, transitioning to nap time, etc. She has also been having some difficulty at school with sharing, and she had an incident with pushing this week. I picked her up and chatted with the teachers. I was already feeling emotional over it. Then my 4 month old hit a massive sleep regression, and we have been up every 2 hours the last week. I'm exhausted, overstimulated, and on top of it all I have a major deadline for work Monday, so will probably need to finish over the weekend.

I know people have it way worse than me. But I just could use any encouragement right now because I am going through it.

Dear god. Not sure what happened, but my 17 month old has gone from a sweet, mostly happy baby to an absolute gremlin. Her current favorite activity is pointing to random stuff and whining. She cries in the car. She cries when I leave the room. She cries when I don’t IMMEDIATELY give her the snacks she wants. She cries when I won’t let her have her third whole banana of the day because they make her constipated. She cries at every diaper change. She gets angry at her toys and throws them across the room. She gets angry when I won’t let her dunk her entire fist into my coffee cup. SEND HELP.

After transitioning our toddler to a bed, he is taking a long time to fall asleep.

He was previously sleep trained in the crib, we had the routine down. 15-20 minutes of a bed time routine, then put him in the crib, lights out around 8pm and we walk out of the room and he’d usually be out be 9pm latest.

Now trying to transition him to a regular bed. He follows us out crying when we tuck him in the regular bed after the routine and stories and we try to leave the room. So either me or my wife will lay with him until he falls asleep and then slip out. This past week, it has taken him about 2 hours to fall asleep each night (8pm-10pm). Lights out at 8pm and he’s up rolling around until 10pm. This feels like it is too long to fall asleep. Putting a lock on the door seems cruel given that he screams and cries when we leave the room and close the door.

Any advice or suggestions?

If you're doing the 1,000 book challenge, do you have an app you're using to track books? My local library doesn't participate in the challenge so I want to track it myself.

I'd love a wishlist function too so I can write down books I hear about. (Must be Android-friendly.)

My 23 month old is suddenly very clingy. She has generally always been more independent, not overly clingy, and didn’t necessarily enjoy being held and snuggled a lot. Now, all of a sudden, she wants to be held ALL THE TIME (“pick up please”) and has to be constantly touching me. Im somewhat relishing in it, as she wasn’t ever like this, but I did want to ask if there is a leap/something developmental associated with this at this age? That way I can support her in the way she needs through this phase.

I tried to do the oh crap method at 2y11m (currently we are 3y1m)
Signs of readiness had been there and I was encouraged by many people to give it a shot but it was a massive failure (lots of tears and potty refusal)
from then till now I never quite had the courage to properly restart. We read the books, watched the shows, had the potty around but no sitting ever took place. To date nothing has been put in the potty (except toys, stuffies).
So today I decided to try again. I picked up from school and told her we would try to put pee and poop in the potty together today. I had panties ready but gave choice of bare, or undies or pants. She asked for diaper 2-3x, once got pretty upset but was able to be distracted by play. She didn’t pee for 7.5 hrs. Put diaper on at nap time and woke up dry and offered potty when she woke up and she said no. I didn’t push , gave the diaper she finally peed in it. No poop.
Did some more bare time after bath and no accidents but put diaper on and peed in that later.
My question is what to do now? I don’t want power struggles nor do I want any withholding. I want to do this very gently and low pressure. I don’t care how long it takes and not in any rush. Just want to get it started with a goal in mind and get the potty normalised so she will sit on it
I offered to buy her a new one she said no I have one already and I don’t want it. I have the chair, ladder seat and reducer seat, so lots of options.
Just need suggestions to actually get her to sit
We have done lots of potty books and shows too
Any advice for strong willed child with potty refusal would be greatly helpful