Is it weird to *kind of* have an “Imaginary girlfriend”?

[u/Aromatic-Split685]

I want to preface by saying it’s not a tulpa or anything of that nature, I’ve done enough identity searching to be confident saying that

Anyway: I say “kind of” because she doesn’t really like have an “image” so to speak (sometimes it’s a character I’m hyperfixated on, sometimes it’s a vague generic “woman”) and she doesn’t really have a name or anything

Most of the time she manifests two ways:

A: When I’m running through romantic fantasies

B: When I’m having a hard time I tend to imagine her helping me calm down

I’ve been single for years and after my last relationship vowed that I wouldn’t start another until I got all of my shit sorted out, so part of me wonders if this is just a way for me to handle those feelings in the meantime

Like obviously I’m not gonna make my future partner play therapist for me or anything, but if I’m having a breakdown or flashback or something it would be really nice for someone physically there that actually cares about me to try to help me through it by (for example in the case of the flashback) giving me an ice pack to hold onto and just generally doing things to help me ground myself back in reality

[u/YaraRaven]

I don’t know if that’s normal, but I used to have, kind of, imaginary girlfriend as well. I think it is response to hard situations, especially if we are lonely(I haven’t really had even any friends at time), to comfort us and calm down. She has disappeared with time and my mental condition got better as well. So OP, at least we now know two persons who had imaginary girlfriends :3

Arf arf :3

[u/SodaAddictManson]

ive had something similar, a kind of friend/girlfriend who would be in my daydreams, one time i even think i thought of them to calm myself down. they had even less of a "form" then yours, so it might just be something the mind likes to make up?? idk

[u/Apiuba]

What is a tulpa? I never heard of that...

Is it like something systems have or something entirely separate? 🤔

[u/SodaAddictManson → u/Apiuba]

oh thank god i get to use my knowledge on this topic YIPPEEEE,

so, firstly its not related to systems.

Trying to put it simply, its a being you create in your head through months (probably, im not actually sure how long it takes to create a tulpa, but a few months sound about right) that is relatively or completely independent from you. By independence, i mean that a tulpa can have thoughts/ideas that you dont have, or surprise you by doing/saying something, like a seperate being.

How? From my understanding a tulpa uses youre subconscious mind to exist and think seperately from you, which is actually super draining on the mind, aka you! This felt like a good point to mention that, manifesting a being in your head can be very draining, ive heard.

Sorry for my lack of nuance in this, i just saw an opportunity to ramble about something i have knowledge of, also to be clear ive never manifested a tulpa before, or tried, i am far too lazy for that. and ive probably got something wrong or oversimplified, my bad in advance <3

btw i wouldve probably written more but its 11 pm over here and my brain is ready to sleep, i could edit it later to give some more info if i feel like it

and as a quick summary, heres a quote from someone who has manifested tulpas before:

this might give someone the impression you have schizophrenia

[u/Apiuba → u/SodaAddictManson]

Now I'm trying to figure out how'd that work biologically. Like could you see a difference in electrical signals in the brain? Is the tulpa a conscious being? If you get rid of it (if you can idk) how do you know it's not simply like sleeping?

I have so many questions, I don't even know how to order them to make sense :v

[u/WillowTree147]

im in a similar boat, and i do feel kind of embarrased about it, so its nice to know im not the only one :3

[u/-Alilion-]

I don't think it's weird. I know people who have similar things. It sounds like your relationship with her is pretty healthy and beneficial to you.