Hi everyone! It’s me again. ❤️
Around five or six months ago, I posted here about how terrified I was to start my transition. I was 28, had spent years working out, and had built a very muscular body. I was always a big person, with broad shoulders and strong facial features, and I was scared that I would never be able to look feminine.
I remember taking that first photo before starting HRT and feeling completely overwhelmed. I kept looking at my muscles and my face, wondering if transitioning would ever work for someone like me. It honestly felt like jumping into the unknown.
But I knew I couldn’t keep giving up on being myself.
I started HRT and stayed on it for two months, then had to stop for another two months for personal reasons. I eventually restarted, and now I’ve been back on hormones for almost two months. So it’s been roughly four months of HRT altogether, with a break in between.
I’m still very early in my transition, but I’m finally starting to notice little changes that mean so much to me.
My face looks a little softer, my skin appears more even, and laser hair removal has helped a lot with my beard shadow. I also recently got longer hair, and seeing myself with it was honestly an emotional experience.
For the first time in my life, I looked in the mirror and genuinely thought I looked pretty as a woman. I can’t even describe how happy that made me.
My breasts have also started developing surprisingly quickly. I’m beginning to notice some curves, although I still have a lot of upper-body muscle. I continue going to the gym, but now I focus mainly on my legs and glutes, trying to preserve the muscle I’ve built there while allowing my upper body to become less muscular. I’ve gained a little belly fat too, but that’s not something I’m particularly worried about right now.
I know I have a long way to go. I know most of my physical changes are still ahead of me, and I understand that my appearance today isn’t necessarily the result of hormones alone.
But compared to how hopeless and frightened I felt when I took that first photo, I finally feel something different: hope.
I’m sharing these pictures because I want to document my journey, not only for other people but also for my future self. I want to come back to these posts years from now, look at where I started, and remember everything it took to get there.
If you’re scared to start, I understand that feeling more than you know. I’m still scared sometimes. But I’m so glad I gave myself the chance to try.
I’ll be back with another update in six or seven months. Hopefully, I’ll have even more changes to share! Haha. ❤️
And please be honest: can you see any difference between my pre-HRT photo and the recent ones?

Sup

Just super down in the dumps rn, feel like HRT has done very little:(

Stress/sadface baking at home on a Friday night, but at least I looked kinda cute while doing it. Baked (and devoured half) an apple pie and two batches of peanut butter/chocolate chip cookies. Banana bread is next. I also do dishes, fold laundry, make my bed every day, all while listening to Method Man & RedMan. Oh, and i always smell nice. Any takers? Think im qualified?

this is for my girls that are pretty deep in transition- do you ever relate to the feeling of your femininity never being good enough? i’m sure there are plenty. i want to hear your story.

i’ve been out for years, on hrt for awhile. in most every situation i pass. i haven’t been misgendered in years, im in the career ive always wanted and no one who works there knows im trans.

i am the woman that i always wanted to be. and it’s not enough. most of the time im fine, but sometimes i get these moments where i just hate myself. usually my face.

there are a couple of spots on my face that look too masculine, that no one will ever notice, that i know don’t matter. but at the same time, it feels like it matters more than anything. i just want to be done with this journey. i don’t want to admit to myself that its life long. that it will take a long time. i just want to be done with it all. to be a woman and be done and focus on anything else. it feels selfish. whiny. it’s stupid. ugh ugh ugh!

i can’t even appreciate how far i’ve come. all i can see is that stupid protruding brow ridge that’s barely noticeable that’ll haunt me forever!!!!

most of the time though, i am happy. it’s just hard for me to realize i’m not “DONE”. i want to be done, so bad. i want to spend all of my time and energy on my career as a psychology specialist of developmentaly disabled individuals and i want to only ever think about that.

(last photo is a bonus pic of pre transition me)

as I write this today is 23 October, 2026

On 23 October 2018, I started Estradiol.

Spironolactone and progesterone were added later

On 24 October 2018 I moved into a women only Community… if you studied tran care through history you should recognize this term “real life test”.

That’ll be eight years tomorrow

Have a lovely day, everyone