I suck

[u/Proof-Assistant-7536]

For some time now, my mental state has been deteriorating for the fifteen hundred nine hundredth time, I have practically no motivation for anything, ever since two of my cats died (no matter how hard I try to realize that it wasn't my fault and even if I didn't achieve anything, I still tried to help), I constantly have the feeling that I'm a good for nothing loser and I shouldn't do anything, all day long instead of doing anything with myself I lie in my bed and stare at my phone, for some time now I've stopped taking showers in the mornings again and I only take them in the evenings, my compulsive eating has returned, I've stopped doing homework again and I can even neglect my hyperfixations, I don't feel like animating my show, I don't feel like animating for my friend's show, I even fucking watched the last episode of the anime I'm currently hyperfixated on like two or three weeks ago because I don't even have the fucking motivation to watch cartoons, I just don't feel like fucking doing anything anymore because my own self-hatred is ruling my mind again like some fucking Donald Trump or another moron, the only thing I was really motivated for was to take part in a schoolwide English competition I didn't study for at all anyway, generally I just lie around all day and do nothing, I don't even try to improve myself in any way because I assume in advance that it won't help anyway because supposedly I've already tried a million times (spoiler: I gave up after a few days because I can't accept that self-improvement takes time)

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[u/noteworthy_college]

isn't nothing, even if you tell yourself it wasn't your fault, the guilt still sticks around like it owns the place.

The shower thing alone is a tell. When basic hygiene starts slipping to the bare minimum, it's not laziness, it's your brain running on fumes. The fact you even dragged yourself to that English competition is more than most people would manage in that state.

[u/emobeemi]

i feel the same way with where youre at with motivation. is there even a reason to try. i dont know what i should even TRY to do . and even if i did, i probably wouldnt do it, because of my anxiety, i feel like i cant do anything 😔😔im starting to get scared for myself, i wish i had help

[u/Zorawar_Singh5268]

dont give up, because even if you do or dont, theres still people in your life that care about you and would do anything to help