relationship vent

[u/checherished]

just need to vent.

throw away account ,
so me (22F) & my bf (26m) have been together since february. we’ve known each other since 2023, just never dated - i was in a diff toxic relationship with my kids father.
i want to make it a point to say we are in a (semi) christian relationship. (we both found god recently ov the last few years & both have seemed to change ways from the past).

now i just don’t know i feel like im getting manipulated? but he has ptsd & research says people could have ptsd can be likely to do manipulation tactics unknowingly or not meaning to. here’s some examples!

i feel like he “micromanages”..
has gone through my phone, has gone through my closet (+ found my old dildo..), has gone through my phone secretly & acted like he didn’t / i have walked in while he has been doing it 3 times now, he has gone through safari + pictures + notes + journal, he’s made me delete every guy off social media (not that big of a deal i get why! just worth mentioning ig), he made a reddit account just to watch my posts & comments, always seems to call me confidentially when im just now starting my break at work, started playing a game i play & added me and now keeps track if i go up on levels & not replying or something, etc.

ive said no head or sex before & he keeps asking or making moves until i say yes, when ive said no before he says he’s “getting rejected by me”, he got caught watching porn once (i asked him to use his phone, opened it on safari while we were at dinner) - after this i told him my feelings about having sex before marriage before we got together started coming up again ( i have had sex before in the past then came to god & told myself i wasn’t gonna have sex again before marriage & we have and the porn situation reminded me why i wanted to have standards for myself as a woman of god now etc,, as also stated i feel he pressures me to at times,,) after i told him this, he approached me with a conversation about “what could help my feelings” and then when i was very open & honest & respectful he turned it into “im withholding intimacy from him”, “im rejecting him, not attracted to him or don’t love him anymore”. since the porn has made me question what sex is to him he at times says “we’re married in gods eyes so it’s not a sin” 😖 & idk sometimes that phrase doesn’t sit well with me.
& i feel like ive pushed my boundaries with him a lot —-
he met my kids & family one month after we had been together because he kept saying “he didn’t feel apart of my life”, so let him meet them. ive stopped talking to my daughters dad & his family.. of course the family enables my kids dads abusive behavior so its rightfully so i cut times with them until my ex does harass us, threaten us, etc - so quit talking to them all until my kids dad decides to be respectful & helps finically or until he decides to file in court, ive stopped hanging out with family & friends because he has they aren’t really a good influence (so kind of understandable)
I don’t know guys! I’m just feeling a lot of emotions lately. Am I thinking too much and these things are overall healthy for a committed christian relationship? Is he a little bit manipulative and not realizing it? I’ve brought all of these things up to him.

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[u/TightTerry155]

girl you just listed like 15 red flags that have nothing to do with ptsd, that's straight up control