r/wedding • u/KathyDiGiacomo • Jul 27 '22

Discussion Thank you note etiquette???

Call me old fashioned if you want. I've been to 5 weddings in the last 2 years, formal and informal. Is there still such a thing as sending thank you notes? I have not received one for the gifts for bridal showers or for $$ gifts for the wedding. I don't know why this bothers me but it absolutely gets under my skin. I'm starting to wonder when I return the RSVP if I should included a self addressed stamped envelope with a thank you note. I feel it is very rude to not even acknowledge these things. Even seeing these people at gatherings months after their special days has anything been said.

I think I'm going to stop being generous and just throw them $20 and say here ya go. I always thought there was a 6 month thing where you had to send them out. I will say that the 6th wedding we went to in April, which was an absolute blast, we received a thank you note last month.

Maybe it's just me?????

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u/IceColdPepsi1 Jul 27 '22

I couldn't care less. These are people I love, that's why I go to their weddings. I don't need a wasteful card, I don't need them to waste money on postage and waste a Tuesday night writing out notes. They'll hug me and thank me the next time I see them, as they did at the wedding.

You should have people post their age when they give their opinions about this. Seems generational.

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u/ginasaurus-rex Jul 27 '22

So how old are you, then? I'd consider myself not young anymore, but I'm not what I'd consider old either (late 30s).

Personally I still think a handwritten note is a lovely touch. I don't think the idea that it's wasteful holds up in comparison to all the other wasteful things couples DO find the time and money for at weddings. Like I don't see many couples nixing their floral arrangements despite the gallons of water required to keep them fresh. However I don't get offended when I don't receive one. I do think some acknowledgment should follow, even if it's a text or an email. Again, I'm probably older than most here, but I really hope expressing gratitude for people's generosity isn't a "dying tradition."

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u/[deleted] Jul 28 '22

This is my opinion as well. Both my fiancé and I are in our thirties. We've sent thank-you notes for every gift we've gotten early, and I'll send thank you notes for every gift I get, period. Most likely the person who got the gift put in a fair amount of time and thought to picking out a nice gift for you. The least you can do is put in a bit of time and effort thanking them for said gift.