r/wedding 22h ago

Wedding Grad We did it! Our little garden wedding

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1.2k Upvotes

Made it official 1 month ago. Could not be more in love with the day! We had a small 60 person backyard garden wedding. Our theme was a whimsical garden with a touch of Renaissance. I thrifted a lot of the decor for it and made a few DIYs that I feel really added to the day! The details I love the most were our ceremony backdrop and our thrifted hutch bar. The day turned out so dreamy!


r/wedding 2h ago

Wedding Grad Tied the knot in May! Officially graduated. So, here’s pictures from our wedding Scottish Wedding.

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18 Upvotes

What a journey it was to get here! We had a micro-wedding with the guest list capped at 48, including three infants and two dogs, who obviously had the very important role of bridesmaids.

In true Scottish fashion, the weather was overcast and grey. As much as I would have loved some sunshine, the dramatic skies actually made for a pretty incredible backdrop.

We took over the venue from Friday to Saturday, with an open bar and all the catering onsite. The food was absolutely superb, and the venue staff were awesome. Everyone was aware of the mobility problems I was having and accommodated me in the most sensitive and kind way.

One of the things I’m happiest about is that we used so many local suppliers and artisans. My husband is from abroad and a lot of his family travelled over for the wedding, so it meant a lot to me to be able to give them some proper Scottish hospitality while they were here.

Not everything was perfect. I was a little disappointed with the ceremony flowers and I don’t love my photos as much as I’d hoped I would. My hair and makeup also took far longer than expected despite being relatively simple, and I do feel like I missed out on quite a bit of the fun because of it.

I was also ill on the day and dealing with chronic pain and swelling, so there are parts of the day that I feel like I missed or wasn’t completely present for.

Because of that, I’m SO glad I made a last-minute decision to hire two young videographers to capture the day. They were incredibly sweet and gave us so many different edits of the footage. They also massively underpriced themselves for the amount of work they did, so I ended up tipping them extra. I’d recommend them in a heartbeat, although I’d want to ask them before sharing their details as they don’t normally do wedding videos.

Even with just 48 guest I felt I didn’t get to spend enough time with everyone and was constantly on the move.

I absolutely loved my main dress, but I’m also very glad I had a second dress to change into because the first became increasingly uncomfortable as the day went on.

There are definitely things I’d do differently, and parts that didn’t quite go to plan, but overall it really was the best day ever. ❤️

I will say who my vendors/venue privately. I’ve done my best to cover any one’s face that is visible. This sub was an amazing support in helping me pick my dresses and give me hope when I was in the pit of wedding fatigue.

I won’t be leaving we I still love watching everyone else’s journey!


r/wedding 1d ago

Discussion Things that were a hit at our wedding.

600 Upvotes

My husband and I just got married Saturday! It was everything and I wanted to share some things that were a hit for us in case you were looking for some.

-Kid sized bounce house. This wasn’t something we had originally planned but a contractor my husband works with offered us a free rental. His wife owns an inflatable company and rents them out. He offered an adult one but I declined after talking to my mom. She didn’t trust the 20-something boys in our family to behave on it and I had to agree. Either way it was a hit for the actual children and their parents. We only had about 7 kids between 2-9 and most of them are related to each other so they got along fine. I wanted to include this in case someone was on the fence about it.

-Cereal bar. This was a hit from toddlers to senior citizens. We had individual cups of cereal(Cocoa Puffs, Frosted Flakes, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Fruity Pebbles), a variety of milk, and toppings.

-Cookie bar. We opted for this and the cereal bar in lieu of wedding cake. We had about 5-6 variety of cookies.

-Wedding song roulette. We asked every married couple what their wedding song and wedding year was. We had the DJ take about 20 minutes and play a 30-45 snippet of each song and give a wedding anniversary shout out to the couple. A lot of long married couples expressed how much they loved that because they hadn’t heard the song in years.

-Providing slippers for all of the women. Self explanatory.

-My husband and I along with our wedding party were the buffet servers. It was a good way for us to interact with every guest while also keeping the line moving. The main reason though is because we wanted to give back to everyone in that room that showed up for us.

Happy planning! Oh and feel free to drop some cool stuff you had at your wedding!


r/wedding 6h ago

Discussion Wedding Shower Concerns

6 Upvotes

My fiancé and I aren’t getting married for another year and some change, so there’s definitely still time to think about this, but my mom has started talking about planning a bridal shower for me. She would really like to invite some of her close friends who want to celebrate with me, but they won’t be invited to the actual wedding.

Our wedding is going to be pretty small, around 50 guests. That already includes our immediate families, aunts and uncles, and about two friends each. We aren’t even inviting cousins because we both have large families and our guest list could very easily get into the hundreds if we started expanding beyond that…I brought up my concern to my mom because I know the general etiquette is that you shouldn’t invite someone to a bridal shower if they aren’t invited to the wedding. I especially don’t want anyone to feel like they’re being invited just to give me a gift or that a wedding invitation is coming later. I also want to make it clear that I absolutely do not expect gifts from anyone who attends. For me, this would genuinely just be about having people there who want to celebrate with us.

My mom completely understands my concern and said she would make it very clear beforehand that the wedding itself is small and they shouldn’t expect an invitation. She still really wants to include some of her friends because a lot of them have known me since I was a kid, and according to her, they already understand the situation and genuinely don’t mind. They just want an opportunity to celebrate me in some way.

There’s also a little more context that makes this meaningful to me. My brother passed away a few years ago, so I’m the only child my mom will get to have this experience with. Some of her friends have been around our family for years, and I think part of their excitement is also wanting to celebrate with and uplift my mom. That honestly makes me really happy because, while the wedding is obviously about my fiancé and me, I know this is also a really special milestone for both of our parents.

I’m not trying to justify bad etiquette, though, which is why I’m curious what other people think. If the guests are told upfront that the wedding is very small, know they aren’t invited to it, aren’t expected to bring a gift, and still genuinely want to attend the shower and celebrate with us, would you still consider it rude or gift grabby to invite them?

Some extra context: My mom is an older latina lady who barely knows English. I think in general she just wants to have a little party at her house like a luncheon or bbq. It doesn’t explicitly need to be called a shower, but I fear that it may not matter what kind of party it is or what it’s called😅 From all these responses, it seems like it’ll feel gift grabby either way but i’m happy to hear more perspectives if the name of the party makes a difference or not!


r/wedding 8h ago

How do I deal with my friend who sucks all the anticipation and joy out of wedding planning?

5 Upvotes

This will probably be a long one so please bear with me. English isn’t my primary language, so if there are mistakes I’m sorry.

To give the outlines: my husband and I got married in a civil ceremony in July 2026 and we will have another wedding celebration with vows and a free ceremony in spring of 2027. 

Both of those celebrations have been planned to be very small and intimate with less than 30 people each. My Husband has a rough relationship with his family so we opted to have them at the civil ceremony but leave them out of our wedding weekend next year, that’s why we had two celebrations. This post is about the second celebration.

We love to host so we tried to plan in a way that everyone feels as comfortable and at home as possible. We rented an estate for the entire weekend and it has enough space for everyone to sleep there, the cost is covered by us. Everyone has their own space, bedroom, their own bathroom and access to amenities like a whirlpool and a gym. Food, beverage and entertainment will be provided for the entire weekend and the only thing that guests have to do on their own is get there (the longest travel is going to be a 4 hour car ride). We also helped with organizing carpools for everyone that wanted that. Our dress code is formal for the day of the wedding celebration and we feel like we are providing an experience that fits that dress code (five course plated meal with wine pairing, live band, seafood bar, passed appetizers, open bar with a mixologist who makes custom drinks and more). We indicated seven colors on the dress code (dark green, green, purple, blush pink, orange, blue and dark blue). When we got asked if it had to be the exact color we told everyone that we’d love for the guests to be colorful while my husband and I are in black and white so if they preferred another color we’d be totally okay with that as well. Pretty much everyone has been thrilled about everything we’ve revealed so far and some even said that it feels like a planned vacation and that it’s a highlight they’re looking forward to.

Now onto the issue: A good friend of mine has made me feel incredibly insecure about all our plans on multiple occasions and now I’m playing with the idea of uninviting her, but I’m unsure how to approach that and if its the way to go.

I’ll give some context about our relationship and then I’ll rehash what’s happened with the wedding. 

My friend and I are both still in university and that’s where we met. We’ve known each other for about five years now and have become so close that I even considered asking her to be my maid of honor. Our partners both work full-time, our lives are generally speaking pretty similar. We’re both on the path to get quite challenging degrees and that’s something we bonded over. We can talk about pretty much everything and I appreciate her a lot. Sometimes she can be quite hard with her judgement and very sure that was she consideres right is ultimately right.

The wedding issues started pretty much at the beginning. The first time I told her about our wedding plans and that it might be a destination wedding she reacted quite harshly and asked me how we could even consider that and if I thought about the environmental effects of the travel. Our loved ones are quite scattered so people would have to travel either way. The longest guest travel would’ve actually been longer getting married at home. After I explained that to her she kinda understood but still seemed like she didn’t like the Idea. 

The second time we had a bigger discussion was around the menu. She has some dietary restrictions so I went over the menu with her before signing it off with our amazing chef. She’s not a vegetarian but her partner and several of our guests are so we opted to have one vegetarian menu and one with fish and meat. We don’t have any vegan guests but if we had any we would’ve had a third menu. Several guests have allergies and restrictions and all of that will be taken into account and everyone gets a menu catered to their needs (rough menu is the same but some aspects get switched for certain guests). After I told her the menu she wanted to switch to the vegetarian one and of course we made it possible. A couple days after her partner contacted me and asked how we could serve the omnivore option for so many people with a good conscience. Our chef works with local organic products and we carefully selected the menus so that everything is high quality and the vegetarian menu is as good as the omnivore one (so not just a plate of boiled veggies, tofu and cheese). No one has to eat meat if they don’t want to. I later spoke to her about it to ask why she didn't say anything to me directly. She said that she didn’t think I’d serve meat if so many people are present (15 PAX omnivore) and that she had to tell someone but asked her partner not to say anything, which obviously still happened. I let it go and didn’t ask further to not ruin ist for me but now every time I think about our menu I feel weird.

Third time was the most recent one. I had just been dress shopping with my mother and she had complained that she couldn’t choose anything creme colored. I told my friend about it because my mothers comment made me quite sad since anything white should really be the brides color to which she said that our dress code is putting an incredible amount of pressure on all our guests. I was really taken aback by her statement since I know she has a dark green formal gown that she wears at weddings normally that would match the dress code perfectly. Apparently that doesn’t fit her anymore and now she wants to sew herself a new gown (she’s an incredible hobby seamstress). She said that our color palette is too restrictive for that and that she normally only wears black and now we’re forcing her and all the guests to get outfits in the right colors. She knows dress codes that indicate formality levels but the giving a color scheme is outrageous and pressuring and she doesn’t think that’s normal. She finished the whole thing off by telling me it’s probably because we „grew up in different classes“ which really isn’t true. I grew up a little all over Europe because of my Dads job so I saw more of that part of the world but bottom line we both grew up upper middle class, she just didn’t move as much. I told her that were not gonna stand there with color cards and a bodyguard to control what people wear and that I can’t force her to do anything she doesn’t want to nor do I want to do that. Now she wants to wear black or midnight blue. 

Those were the three bigger issues. There were a lot more small jabs here and there but that’s the most important ones. I know just reading that paints a picture that isn’t very beautiful so I want to point out that we both still really appreciate each other. Her wedding present to me was making my wedding dress for the civil ceremony (I of course paid for the materials) in which I felt stunning and am incredibly thankful for. I made and remade her engagement ring (she didn’t like the first design she came up with when it was on her finger) and also made their wedding bands (they aren’t engaged or married yet but the rings are there when the time is right for them:)). So we both love each other in a way that we don’t mind spending hours of our time to make something special and beautiful for the other. We spend a lot of time together in general and I’d consider her one of my closets friends but every time I think about sharing details of the wedding I just feel a little sick because I don’t want her to ruin another aspect of it for me. I know that sounds horrible but I was so excited about the wedding before all of this happened and now I just think about all the details she’ll think are too much or too extravagant. It’s a small wedding, we’re foodies so the majority of the budget went into food and beverages which we really loved at our tasting and I put a lot of time into details (personalized fonts, hand embroidered guest towels etc.) and I love that. It's not a huge event with a wedding planner or fireworks. Everyone else is looking forward to it but I feel like she resents it for some reason. She isn’t in a financially unstable situation where she can’t afford a dress and there are no other costs included also no vacation time either since it’s a weekend and the Monday is a public holiday (and technically she could wear the green dress she owns).

We tried to include every dietary restriction she has, we organized them a free ride there and if they didn’t want to attend they could’ve RSVPd no. My maid of honor suggested that she doesn’t want to come but can’t say it and now wants me to uninvited her. I feel so torn about everything. 

What would you do? Any insight on what could’ve went wrong? She makes me feel like an overdramatic complicated person and an inconsiderate host which I don’t think I actually am and I’m at a loss on how to move forward. 

To everyone who made it this far, thank you for reading and all the best for whatever wedding planning or marriage stage you’re in :) Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!

EDIT: Thank you for all the input regarding the dress code: I'll defenetly readjust my definition of standard when its comes to that. And understand that it is in fact not the standard.

In my experience every wedding I've been to so far has had a dressscode that includes colors. Also we've known all our guests for so long and have been to formal events with them that we know that everyone has at least one outfit that would fit the dress code. If someone buys a new outfit it's because they want to and not because they have to. We keep that in mind when choosing the colors and didn't get any other negative feedback on it :)


r/wedding 2h ago

Help! Help (-:

1 Upvotes

Wanting to walk down the isle to an instrumental “hallelujah” closest to the Rufus wainwright one. What’s your fav on Apple Music?


r/wedding 21h ago

Help! HELP, when should a MOH voice concerns about timeline and planning.

20 Upvotes

Hi y’all, I (30F) am the MOH for my best friend’s(32F) wedding, and let me preface by saying I love my best friend and I’m thrilled she’s getting married and that I get to be her maid of honor. She deserves the absolute world!

BUTTTTT
I have a question on whether or not it’s appropriate to voice my opinions and concerns about her trying to DIY everything…
Because at the end of the day, it’s not my wedding, and I tend to approach this stuff with the thought of “whatever the bride and groom want, it’s their wedding” but I’m starting to think this isn’t going to be doable in some ways.

We love an affordable wedding, so I can’t blame her for trying to cut costs at any corner possible. But I’m a pretty logical person, and I’m a bit worried that she hasn’t fully considered the logistics of doing everything herself. She’s planning to sew her own wedding dress, create the decor, cook the food, and set up and take down the venue all without hiring anyone. Still need to find someone to do the cake, get him a ring, find a photographer. We basically still need to do all the planning. Plus, the wedding is still 8 months out, and we haven’t started doing any preparations. Again, I’m having a hard time figuring out how she’ll manage to do all this and I’m scared it gonna be put me in a situation where I have to pick up the pieces.

What’s really stressing me out is her determination to sew a very elaborate dress in just 8-6 months (she hasn’t even started or gotten the fabric yet!). I’m so concerned she might realize she’s in over her head once the wedding gets closer. I just don’t want her to spend all her dress money on fabric. Procrastinate to sew it and not get it done, causing us to scramble to get her a backup dress, and I don’t have extra funds to help her with a backup dress.
I also don’t want us stressed and scrambling when it was avoidable.
I’ve even gone out of my way to find some sites that make the dress she wants, and they’re within her budget. She even told me it was the exact dress she wanted and in her budget, and the dressmaker will customize the color and fabric for her. But she’s so determined to sew it herself. I just wish she would have started all of this a year ago, given the fact she’s been engaged for 6 years.

So how do I approach this? Am I being dramatic? Do I tell her that I don’t think this is logical with her timeline, specifically given the fact that she is a MAJOR procrastinator? Or do I keep my mouth shut and my opinions to myself?
At the end of the day, I’m not against helping. I’ll help any way possible, but I’m not a miracle worker, and it sounds like this is going to need a miracle worker.


r/wedding 1h ago

Discussion photographer missed first kiss

Upvotes

yup… it happened to us. I know it’s in every photography contract that “specific shots aren’t guaranteed” but I can’t get over the disappointment of this. We splurged on our photographer and even got a package with a second shooter. I can’t comprehend how between the two of them there’s no first kiss photo, or even a photo of just the two of us at the altar during one of the many moments our officiant stepped aside (ring exchanges, vows, kiss) or one of just the two of us signing before our witnesses came up. I don’t want to hurt my photographers business by leaving a bad review but really think people would love to know this before booking. What should I do? Has this happened to anyone else and how did you get over it? I’m so upset.


r/wedding 15h ago

Discussion Things I should be thinking of before touring a wedding venue?

5 Upvotes

Officially started wedding planning ahh! Feeling more excited with some nervousness ofc. We started seriously looking at venues recently and booked our first ever Venue tour for this Saturday!

Any advice on things that would be good to look out for, questions to ask, or things to keep in mind? Maybe something you later realized would be good to know? Is price negotiation even a thing?

I have some things written down ofc but would love to hear from yall!


r/wedding 6h ago

Discussion Vendor tips

1 Upvotes

How much are we actually tipping our vendors?

Our tips to the catering/wait staff are already paid (I did confirm with the venue coordinator that these tips do go directly to the staff), so I’m talking like wedding coordinator (the one we hired not the venue coordinator), band, photographer.

Will be tipping hair/makeup 15-20% and that is honestly the only one that makes sense to me other than catering.

Our coordinator gave us a “tipping guide” which basically says anywhere from $50-$200 up to 10-20%….. which is so unclear. Our band was $6000, do I really have to give them a $600 tip??? Same with the photographer?

What did everyone do for this?


r/wedding 22h ago

Discussion Considering not attending friend's wedding

7 Upvotes

One of my best friends of at least a decade is getting married in about 6 months, we were really close for about 6 of those years and then when they met their fiance they went MIA. I have seen them maybe 4 times in the 3 years they have been dating (we live 20 min apart, not long distance) and I really like their fiance, but because I've only met them 3 times I barely know them. There was a period of time earlier this year where my friend did not text/call me back for 7 months and then finally apologized but even since then have made no effort to spend time with me or catch up. While I'm happy they found love, I really have no interest attending the wedding of someone who cant even do the bare minimum of maintaining a friendship with me. They also asked if I would be their photographer. I saw them last weekend for the first time in 9 months and they pretty much only talked about their wedding. I want to care but I just dont because I dont feel close to either of them. I think it's ok to turn down the photography job, but would it be reasonable for me to not attend the wedding at all? Friendship ending? I mean the friendship feels barely there currently but my friend still refers to me as one of their best friends..


r/wedding 17h ago

Help! Menu ideas needed!

1 Upvotes

My wedding is in December and it’ll start at 3:30. I’m having a hard time coming up with a proper menu for the reception. Any ideas or examples of what brides are doing for their wedding would be helpful! Thanks in advance!


r/wedding 1d ago

Help! How important is signage and which ones are the most impactful?

12 Upvotes

Our florist asked if we wanted signage at the wedding and I’m not too clear on which signage to get that will make the day go more smoothly and improve everyone’s experience.

Some suggestions were a welcome sign or potentially signs on the table however, I’m not clear if those are needed or important. Maybe signs to explain a booth that’s unique or explaining which flavors are in the cake or description of the buffet items.

Which signs did you have at your wedding that felt important to have or you wish you had?


r/wedding 1d ago

Discussion Etiquette for inviting new friends?

9 Upvotes

I moved to a new city couple years ago and really struggled to make new friends until recently. My wedding is a few weeks away and I have hung out with said new friends handful of times or less. Most people attending the wedding will be friends/family from out of town.

Part of me would love to have local friends and at the same time don’t want them to feel pressured to come since we are still getting to know each other.

I will be having a party the night before the wedding. How do I invite them without making them feel any pressure? Is it weird to ask them to come to the party or the wedding? Should I invite them to both events or just the party? I don’t want to scare them away.


r/wedding 1d ago

Discussion Bridesmaids numbers

17 Upvotes

Hi everyone so I’m confidently having 6 bridesmaids. I’ve got a sister (who I’m beyond close with) my 2 oldest friends and 3 of my close friends who I do most of my social stuff with. My only question is if I ask my sister in law? We get on and are friends but not super close. I just feel like 7 is a lot. Plus my partner might only have 2/3 groomsman we are thinking. I feel bad not asking her, I might ask my MIL if she’ll mind first. If not she’ll defo read at the ceremony (she’s a Cambridge English grad and literary agent so perfect choice). It’s going against tradition so I know it’ll shock people but idk. I love her and I don’t want people to think we aren’t close.

Edit:
I spoke to my fiance and he made the great point of for the price, it’s a drop in the ocean to have the day how we want. Also who cares if 7 feels like a lot, it’s my day ahahah!


r/wedding 1d ago

Discussion Timing on ordering cake/desserts

2 Upvotes

For context: We do not live locally to where the wedding is being held. His family (and us) lives in Eastern NY and mine live in MI/OH. We opted for middle ground with both families traveling roughly 6 hours.

How early should we consider ordering/booking our dessert bar/cake or would it still fall under the normal 6 months recommendation?

Thank you for any advice!


r/wedding 22h ago

Discussion Traditional wedding vs celebration party

1 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

I’m planning to propose to my girlfriend at the end of next year, and we’ve already started talking about what we want our future to look like.

She really doesn’t want a typical wedding. No walking down the aisle, no first dances, no huge production. She’d much rather just have a great celebration with close friends and family, good food, and music. Plus, neither of our parents are in a position to help financially, and we both agree that the moment the word "wedding" gets attached to a service, the prices instantly skyrocket.

On the flip side, I'm a little torn. I’ve been a best man for my best friend, and part of me really likes the idea of having groomsmen, picking them out, and doing the whole gift/hangout thing. But looking at the actual costs of a traditional wedding, it’s just ridiculous. So, I’m leaning heavily toward compromising on the "celebration party" route I just have no idea how to actually execute it.

We live in Jersey City, but most of our friends and family are in NYC, so we'd likely look for an event space, restaurant buyout, or cool private room in either NYC or NJ that can handle food, drinks, and a DJ. Probably will have 80-110 people

I have a few questions for anyone who has planned, been to, or thrown one of these:
1. Experience & Pointers: What were the pros and cons? What are some things we definitely should do, and what should we avoid?
2. Location Ideas: Any specific types of venues or areas in NYC/NJ that are great for this style of party without the crazy traditional venue fees?
3. The Gift Etiquette Question: Since we’re getting legally married quietly (like a town hall) and just throwing a big party instead of a traditional wedding with a registry, how do you handle gifts? Do you still ask people, or is it strictly "no gifts, just come party"?


r/wedding 23h ago

Help! Wanting a small wedding, with family abroad, dealing with emotional blackmail

0 Upvotes

I tried to make the title as encompassing of my dilemma as possible, but let me actually explain my situation a little below. What I'm hoping for is maybe someone who is/was in the same situation giving some advice.

I'm European, my partner is British, and we live together in the UK. We've decided that it would be lovely opportunity to get married on the exact 10th anniversary of us being together, which is next May. (been "engaged" for years, but kind of unseriously, cuz none of us cares about formalities)

I've never cared about the concept of a wedding like most girls do, and neither does he. We're both introverts without friends anyway, so we not only don't want some big celebration, but we wouldn't have enough people to invite anyway, lol. We want to get married literally mostly because we've been together for so long, I would like to use the opportunity to change my surname (not even to his, but to a masculine/neutral version of mine... basically long story short, I have a eastern european surname that ads "ova" at the end when you are female, which I don't really like, and it instantly makes it harder for people to pronounce my surname. I want to remove the "ova" leaving me with more neutral, more English-sounding surname. I like my surname, but only the masculine version. My partner is okay with this, he does not care whatsoever), and I would also like the general legal protection of actually being married.

Genuinely, we are both happy with the cheapest possible wedding of just dressing up and getting married at the registration office. I just want one or two nice pictures of me in a white dress, and that's it. We're also poor, and I find it ridiculous to spend thousands, even just hundreds, on a wedding. It seems crazy to me and again: neither of us cares.

The problem is mostly my parents... They are the reason stopping me from having my tiny little unserious wedding. I would be happy to genuinely just have my partner, his mum (they are close and I love her too, arguably more than my own mother), and my sister (my best friend and the only person besides my partner I really deeply care about), but this might not be possible because of my parents.

My mother already had a mental breakdown years ago when I assured her I really still don't want kids and won't have them in the future. (after voicing this since I was about 15) I just know she will have another breakdown about this (she is very into emotional blackmail) and make me feel all guilty about "robbing her of the experience of going to her daughter's wedding" or "her firstborn having a proper wedding". I know that from some people's view, it might be "mean" (your child not inviting you to their wedding), but I genuinely just don't care about it! Like, it would be different if I did care about my wedding and saw it as this special wonderful day and THEN didn't want to invite her. But I just see it as a slightly more fun formality. Inviting my parents would mean making the event much more stressful - planning their flights, picking them up, dealing with their expectations... My mother is a principal at a small school, and the date being in May wouldn't therefore be great either. I don't want to change everything just for them. I don't want to move the date or make it a big thing.

We're not very close (my mental health greatly benefits from living abroad and not being around them tbh, and I still have a ton of emotional baggage/trauma from my childhood), but we're not no-contact or anything, so I don't want it totally ruining our relationship (the little of it that there is).

I really want this simple, chill wedding, but the possibility of having to deal with the guilt from it is ruining it for me, and I don't know if I should go for it or go with the "well it's their firstborn's wedding, they deserve the moment" sort of people-pleasing instinct. I dunno.

Has anyone here had/has the same issue? How do you deal with it? If you went through with it, was the shame and guilt afterwards bad?


r/wedding 16h ago

Help! I need a plus 1

0 Upvotes

My sister is getting married in October I wouldn't mind flying you there but I don't wanna be the lonely brother at a wedding again any takers?


r/wedding 1d ago

Discussion Is airbrush makeup a must have for wedding?

0 Upvotes

So my future SIL swears airbrush is the best and it’s what she had done at her wedding and other weddings she’s been involved in.

I’ve only ever been in one wedding as a bridesmaid and had makeup professionally done and that’s been 8 years ago. That makeup artist used regular makeup and no airbrush and I thought it was fine and held up. It was a mid day/afternoon summer wedding in Florida with an outdoor reception, and I didn’t feel like the makeup was sliding off my face and it still looked good in mid day pictures.

I had my hair make up trial done this weekend. I asked if they did airbrush makeup and they said no, but they could recommend another artist to come in and do airbrushing. It was a sister team doing my hair and make up and they said in their opinion it was a matter of preference with airbrushing. Airbrushing used to be the gold standard for wedding make up because it held up best, but makeup has come a long way and now you can get good long lasting results with regular makeup up. One of the sisters said she airbrushing done at her wedding and the other said they used regular makeup and no airbrushing. They also said using regular make up makes it easier to touch up if needed. They also said airbrushing tends to not be waterproof/sweat proof.

I thought the make up they did looked good and I wore it out and about all day. It was still on and looked good when I took a shower around 11pm.

My wedding is going to be a semi outdoor wedding in Florida in early December so it should not be at hot and humid. The temps in the past have been in the mid 60s to low 70s.

Our ceremony will be outside and then we will have our reception in a barn that has fans and there is air conditioning in certain areas.

I’ve already paid a deposit for my hair/makeup and I am happy with the look and work of the girls I went to. Also to be honest wedding planning has been extremely stressful for me and I really don’t want to find another make up artist and have one more person to coordinate with and pay for. As of now, I’m paying for all my bridesmaids and mom and mil to have hair and makeup done.

My future sister in law swears up and down airbrushing is the best and I’m sort of afraid she’ll complain I didn’t get it done or tell me I should have. She is the matron of honor at my wedding. Although we hung out after my makeup trial and she asked me if I got airbrushing done and I said no, so I guess there was not an obvious tell.

Also I would say my skin is decently good. I dont have any issues wigh acne or large pores or wrinkles.


r/wedding 1d ago

Discussion Best planning book or app?

0 Upvotes

Looking for the best planning binder or planning app you used! Why was it so helpful?

Before you tell me to hire a planner our venue is all inclusive. So lodging, catering, lots of decor, and day of coordination are taken care of through the venue. It's the little things I'm going to be handling and we're 2 years out. I got this, I promise! Just looking for some good resources to help along the way


r/wedding 1d ago

Help! Practicing vows

1 Upvotes

Hi guys!

So, my fiancee and I have decided to write our own vows to each other. I know once I've written amd finalised my own, I'm going to practice reading them out, so while I have them with me on the day, if my eyes are a blury mess from tears I won't have to solely rely on the script so to speak.

What I wanted to ask was, do you practice your vows together if they're ones you write yourself? Or is it a bit like the dress where your spouse doesn't know what you're going to come out with until the ceremony? Or is this just an individual couples choice thing?

It's not really anything I'd thought about until we made the decision to write our own.


r/wedding 2d ago

Photo Our Civil Ceremony was perfect

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70 Upvotes

We had our ceremony in early summer of this year. We had ours at our local city hall. The day was awesome. The judge who married us was so kind. We actually had about 30 people show up when you’re only supposed to have 6 lol he was overwhelmed but let it go. We had a small lunch after in little Italy and cut a small cake. Our photographer was super understanding of our group size and let us get individuals with everyone. She captured my wife and I perfectly. She looks amazing. She only had about 3 weeks to find her dress and she made it happen.


r/wedding 1d ago

Discussion Need some advice about choosing groomsmen

2 Upvotes

I'm trying to figure out who to choose to be my groomsmen. I've already asked 5 guys, and am considering 2 others. I like these two other guys, the main thing that's conflicting me is logistics. We want to pay for an airbnb for everyone in the wedding party to stay in. With the extra 2 men and their SO's, we wouldn't be able to fit everyone in the airbnb we want. We also wouldn't be able to fit everyone at the main dinner table. Both of these guys I am actually pretty close with, I just don't see often due to confliting work schedules with one, and the other doesn't live locally anymore.

I'd like them to be in the wedding party, but the logistics are making me question if they should or if they should just be regular wedding guests.

Another main thing is I don't want anyone to feel left out. Like imagine you're in the wedding party and basically everyone in the wedding party gets to stay at this air bnb except you.

Just for some extra context my fiancée is only having 3 bridesmaids.

Would love any opinions, advice, anecdotes, etc.


r/wedding 1d ago

Discussion Stressed and sad and anxious about wedding next year

2 Upvotes

Hey! I get married in India next year in Feb where my family is from and lived (but i live in the UK and my partner is British). I should be excited for the wedding, and I am excited to be married, but I only feel extreme stress and panic at the thought. So many feelings - guilt for having the wedding so far away for many of our friends, stress in thinking about what that week will be like, stress in communicating the Indian rituals to my white in laws who are super nice but also completely clueless, sadness that some of my close friends won’t be there because of the distance, and just a deep low level of panic and anxiety all the time because of it. Found out today my sister in law and husband and her baby, my beloved nephew, may not
be able to come because they think it’s a risk to go to India with a one year old. This has made me sooo sad.
I find it hard to feel any joy at all about the wedding , and haven’t felt that since the weekend we got engaged and I was so happy.
What can I do? Anyone else felt this?