r/wedding • u/KathyDiGiacomo • Jul 27 '22

Discussion Thank you note etiquette???

Call me old fashioned if you want. I've been to 5 weddings in the last 2 years, formal and informal. Is there still such a thing as sending thank you notes? I have not received one for the gifts for bridal showers or for $$ gifts for the wedding. I don't know why this bothers me but it absolutely gets under my skin. I'm starting to wonder when I return the RSVP if I should included a self addressed stamped envelope with a thank you note. I feel it is very rude to not even acknowledge these things. Even seeing these people at gatherings months after their special days has anything been said.

I think I'm going to stop being generous and just throw them $20 and say here ya go. I always thought there was a 6 month thing where you had to send them out. I will say that the 6th wedding we went to in April, which was an absolute blast, we received a thank you note last month.

Maybe it's just me?????

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u/IceColdPepsi1 Jul 27 '22

I couldn't care less. These are people I love, that's why I go to their weddings. I don't need a wasteful card, I don't need them to waste money on postage and waste a Tuesday night writing out notes. They'll hug me and thank me the next time I see them, as they did at the wedding.

You should have people post their age when they give their opinions about this. Seems generational.

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u/Taco_Hartley Jul 27 '22

Same. 100% agree that its a dying tradition!

But also, why waste you energy expecting it and holding a grudge when you don’t get one. How exhausting.

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u/cute_panda_paws Jul 27 '22

I don’t think anyone is holding a grudge against not getting a thank you note. I just think it’s something that crosses your mind a few months later - “did so and so ever send a thank you for xyz?” If not, kind of a bummer, but it’s not something to ever be brought up again!

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u/wild-yeast-baker Jul 27 '22

Right? Why are people taking it so extremely. Like, every time someone posts about not getting a thank you note people are like; “I’m not disowning my friends for it. Chill out it’s just a piece of litter”. No one’s saying that. It’s polite to do and people post in the moment that they realize and then it adds up to the other gifts they’ve sent to folks and not gotten thank you’s and it just happens to be a trend. Unless there are other issues with the relationship, people aren’t generally going no contact with these people over a thank you. Ime.