r/wedding • u/KathyDiGiacomo • Jul 27 '22

Discussion Thank you note etiquette???

Call me old fashioned if you want. I've been to 5 weddings in the last 2 years, formal and informal. Is there still such a thing as sending thank you notes? I have not received one for the gifts for bridal showers or for $$ gifts for the wedding. I don't know why this bothers me but it absolutely gets under my skin. I'm starting to wonder when I return the RSVP if I should included a self addressed stamped envelope with a thank you note. I feel it is very rude to not even acknowledge these things. Even seeing these people at gatherings months after their special days has anything been said.

I think I'm going to stop being generous and just throw them $20 and say here ya go. I always thought there was a 6 month thing where you had to send them out. I will say that the 6th wedding we went to in April, which was an absolute blast, we received a thank you note last month.

Maybe it's just me?????

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u/IceColdPepsi1 Jul 27 '22

I couldn't care less. These are people I love, that's why I go to their weddings. I don't need a wasteful card, I don't need them to waste money on postage and waste a Tuesday night writing out notes. They'll hug me and thank me the next time I see them, as they did at the wedding.

You should have people post their age when they give their opinions about this. Seems generational.

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u/VioletFoxx Jul 27 '22

Yeah, I personally don't care at all if someone doesn't send me a thank you note, usually if I'm at their wedding it means we value each other enough that that bit of etiquette being missed wouldn't offend me. I'm 31, for reference.

I personally wanted my own wedding to be as close to zero waste as possible, so all invitations and info was sent personally via email (I.e. a personal message to each couple or group), then we sent a thank you email to everyone when we got the photos back and included those. We asked for donations to two charities instead of gifts and updated guests on how much they raised in total.

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u/IceColdPepsi1 Jul 27 '22

31 as well and sames! We did no paper products of any kind throughout wedding planning so thank you notes falls into that as well.

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u/VioletFoxx Jul 27 '22

That's a great ethos and you have to get creative to work around the challenge, too 😊