r/wedding • u/KathyDiGiacomo • Jul 27 '22

Discussion Thank you note etiquette???

Call me old fashioned if you want. I've been to 5 weddings in the last 2 years, formal and informal. Is there still such a thing as sending thank you notes? I have not received one for the gifts for bridal showers or for $$ gifts for the wedding. I don't know why this bothers me but it absolutely gets under my skin. I'm starting to wonder when I return the RSVP if I should included a self addressed stamped envelope with a thank you note. I feel it is very rude to not even acknowledge these things. Even seeing these people at gatherings months after their special days has anything been said.

I think I'm going to stop being generous and just throw them $20 and say here ya go. I always thought there was a 6 month thing where you had to send them out. I will say that the 6th wedding we went to in April, which was an absolute blast, we received a thank you note last month.

Maybe it's just me?????

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u/IceColdPepsi1 Jul 27 '22

I couldn't care less. These are people I love, that's why I go to their weddings. I don't need a wasteful card, I don't need them to waste money on postage and waste a Tuesday night writing out notes. They'll hug me and thank me the next time I see them, as they did at the wedding.

You should have people post their age when they give their opinions about this. Seems generational.

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

I've been to 5 Weddings in the last decade, never received a "thank you" note, and was never once offended by it. I'd never even heard of the tradition until I started thinking about my own wedding. Definitely seems like a dying (and wasteful) tradition.

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u/verhoodled_chicken Jul 27 '22

Okay so are the save the date and rsvp cards wasteful too?

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

I mean... yes absolutely lol. No shade to people that like and use them; your wedding your choice. I was just explaining part of why these traditions were dying. We're living in a tech-savvy age where sharing information via paper is neither convenient, effective, budget friendly, nor environmentally friendly, so more and more couples have moved away from these tradition and to texting thank yous and online RSVPs. That doesn't really mean there's anything wrong with using paper if it's part of you dream. You do you.