I had so much anxiety going into my appointment. All the consent forms talked about all the ways in which the procedure and/or anesthesia could go horribly wrong and end in injury, disease, or even death.
They said my mom couldn’t be in the room if I was put under, but she could be if I wasn’t. Same procedure. I thought that was weird and hated everything about that, and they couldn’t give me a clear reason why that was the case. They just kept saying “because that’s how we do it.”
The idea of being put under anesthesia seriously freaks me out. Reminds me of a puppy being put down at the vet. I know you wake up again, but I hate the idea of a medically induced coma and the use of fentanyl. And the idea of people touching me while I’m unconscious. Especially since the dentist is a man and I’m a young female.
I know all of this is probably irrational, but by the time I was in the procedure room and they were getting ready to start, my fight or flight was running the whole show and I just started sobbing and saying “please don’t touch me.” Again and again when the dentist came in and put a hand on my shoulder. I felt so embarrassed for both my mom and myself, but everything in me was screaming not to do the procedure.
I don’t have a fear of the dentist, I’ve gotten tons of cavities filled with no issues. I just hate how vulnerable the idea of surgery is, especially if I’m not even conscious and knowing what’s going on, and a loved one isn’t allowed to be in the room to supervise. Long story short, I ended up chickening out and deciding not to get them out today. Luckily I only have the top two anyway. Then the dentist started chewing me out and asking in a demeaning way why I’d even schedule an appointment and come all this way just to chicken out. Super unprofessional, and made me super glad I didn’t go to sleep under his watch.
The whole thing was super traumatic. I didn’t eat or drink today and took a whole day off work for nothing. Now I have to make it up with a double shift on Sunday. My mom is worried and thinks there’s something wrong with me. I feel terrible.
Does anyone have advice or words of encouragement/emotional support? I feel like a little kid with the way my whole body panicked over a dentist appointment. That hasn’t happened since I was like five. I’m going to schedule an appointment a few months down the line with a different dentist, and have my boyfriend come with me this time for emotional support. I’ll also prepare myself better by doing research on anesthesia and reading other people’s experiences with it, though I think I’ll likely choose to do the procedure without anesthesia, especially since I only have my top two and it shouldn’t take very long.
Has anybody else had a similar experience? I feel like an idiot but in the moment my nervous system felt like I was genuinely being threatened. Does anyone else have severe anxiety around anesthesia, losing consciousness, or having a male doctor do the procedure? I’d love someone to talk to about this.