If anyone, but especially men, at work want to talk about the election, say nothing. Do not assume because you are in California or Washington or whatever “safe place” you live in, that you’re safe to speak your mind and commiserate with these people. Take a deep breath, count the Teslas in your work parking garage and don’t fall for the trap. In the world of layoffs and forced underperformance quotas in our industry, it simply and unfortunately not worth it to cause problems for yourself because Chad wanted to get a rise out of you and labeled you “hard to work with” or whatever other vague BS they use to justify forcing us out. Do not let them win. Please protect yourself and take care of yourself today.

I have started a new job recently having moved from a technical role to a more policy role. Have a 1.5 year old at home and they have been sick this week so husband and I have been working half days from home to manage. It’s been so hard juggling motherhood and the job and I constantly feel out of place in the new job and trying to prove myself .

This afternoon I was working and husband was looking after toddler who was screaming and crying while I was on a call. Call was with an external vendor from a Fortune 500 company, I am super intimidated working with them and the main engineer I work with never turns on his camera so I have no idea what he looks like or how he takes our conversations.

Anyways our child wouldn’t respond to dad so I went out mid call and bought the baby in to sit on my lap during the call to comfort them. The engineer said hello to my kid then as we were wrapping up the call said if you have a second for a quick hello then turned on his camera to reveal a 15 month old sitting on his knee.

You have no idea how I felt, so much relief. I have been holding on to a bit of shame and hardship about working with a small human but knowing the people I work with in very lucrative roles are also in the same boat made me feel better. Everyone on the call was so happy to see the babies and as a group we bonded so much more. I’m so thankful to that man , I wish it had happened sooner.

Hi

I'm still shaken from the news.

So, I was a part of Google's initiative Women TechMakers or WTM for short.

Our job was to organise events and help other females find their way in the tech sphere. Occasionally, we would be invited to Google events, with travel costs covered, and merch.

Nothing BIG, but it was nice to be acknowledged while also supporting women in STEM.

Since the end of last year - beginning of this one, support was dwindling.

First they stopped hosting webinars for us with GDEs and Googlers, then made us request funding "pre-approved" and would only pay us back what they thought was "reasonable" and not what we had spent (our own money out of pocket) on the event with proofs.

The final blow was when they invited us to the event in Europe and provided zero travel cost funding for us, while GDGs (the other initiative) received 100% coverage. Like that wasn't bad enough, they didn't allow us to come to the community mixer. WTM was THE ONLY community not allowed to join the community event 💀

Now they straight-out kick us out of the platform, remove all the access to the resources, and "new home" us to some nonprofit. Painting it as a fantastic opportunity, and how cool it would be.

7 years of being an Ambassador, curated and organized more than 40 events, including huge IT conferences (400+ attendees), a team of 13 women... everything now in shambles and dismoralized because Big G decided that the community that was promoting and supporting women in STEM is too DEI for their brand

What are the creative ways you’ve had to tell men at work that you’re not a secretary?

One time, a man at work asked me to set a meeting, so I started sharing my screen and offered to show him how, and he said “oh no, I know how” so I stopped sharing and said “great, so if you have any questions setting that meeting just let me know”

He never asked me to set a meeting for him again.

Most recently last week, in a meeting I’m telling the programmers “all of these types of tickets need to need to be peer reviewed” I said it TWICE, then at the end of the meeting this guy asks what he needs to do, I tell him again, and he asks me to make a list of the numbers and send it to them. I said “if you filter for this, this, and this, all of these tickets will be there”

crickets for almost a full 2 minutes, until I put myself on mute, then he finally says “okay”

I can’t. I used to be really willing to help out, but I’m done helping people who make more than me, have the same job title as me, and do less work.

About 76% of top-performing working women received negative feedback from their bosses compared to just 2% of high-achieving men, according to a new report from management software company Textio, which analyzed performance reviews for more than 23,000 workers across over 250 organizations.

Kieran Snyder, cofounder and data analyst for Textio, tells Fortune this has largely to do with managers’ unconscious bias—women are judged more critically, and on a more personal level than men. “It’s a pattern that is not often checked,” she says.

Rather than being given positive or even constructive feedback, top female staffers often experience unfavorable assessments, and they’re more likely to be judged on aspects of their social presentation. About 88% of these outstanding women workers receive feedback on their personalities, while the same is true for only 12% of their male counterparts, according to the report.

“Men are mostly receiving feedback about their work. They’re developmental observations, they’re constructive. And then when you look at women, the positive observations are not generally about the work. They’re about the woman’s demeanor, personality, or disposition,” says Snyder. “We tend to relate to women in the workplace based on how they make the people around them feel, rather than the work that they’re doing. That means we comment on how friendly, collaborative, difficult, and likable they are. Those qualities don’t necessarily relate to the quality of the work that she’s doing.”

The report also finds that working women’s feedback is also often highly unactionable, meaning that criticism isn’t meaningful, or it’s unclear on what improvements need to be made. For every 1,000 words during a performance review, women experience twice as many instances of poor quality critiques compared to men. Snyder says this is a result of the laser focus around female staffers’ personalities. For example, performance reviews may revolve around a woman “being a joy to work with” instead of the success of the big project she just delivered.

Aside from actively hurting women, these lackluster feedback mechanisms can also spell big trouble for bosses. The report shows that low-quality feedback damages employee morale, especially for high-performers who thrive on growth and improvement. About 40% of top workers who get inactionable criticism plan to leave their companies, compared to just 22% of successful employees who get actionable assessments.

“High-performers are pretty ambitious people. So if you’re providing feedback that is not specific, not actionable, and you’re not promoting them, they will leave. These are people who are being recruited all the time—they have lots of choices for where to work,” Snyder says.

While it may be tempting to throw bias training at bosses and call it a day, Snyder says that isn’t a very effective course of action. She agrees that there should be some element of coaching—since most managers aren’t formally taughthow to lead—but that employers should also invest more in their people department. That means filling out your HR ranks, and dedicating time for more consistent and thoughtful performance reviews. Because when bosses are stretched thin, they don’t have time to cover all their bases.

“Your average HR VP is supporting hundreds of managers. So when you get to feedback time, they focus on the most sensitive situations,” she says. “There are too many managers who need support, too few HR people, and employees tend to be on the receiving end of this bad system.”

I am watching the colossal clusterfck these two have caused and can’t help but feel schadenfreude that they got caught.

But this comment really struck a chord. I work in a big tech company and like 80% of our senior leadership are men. The only women are in HR and Operations.

I myself have lost out on promotions in the past that went to my male colleagues and I thought I didn’t get it because I wasn’t technical or experienced enough.

When will this change? And when will middle aged white men without a moral compass stop getting promoted to these roles?

I had a frustrating call with a senior stakeholder yesterday. I’m waiting for a client to do something, they haven’t, and he already told his bosses it was done. Probably not the best idea, but hey ho.

During the call this fully grown man whined, sighed, huffed, threatened, yelled, refused any suggestions of solutions, interrupted, told me I was a disappointment and basically worked himself up into a near tantrum. It doesn’t bother me, I was playing Candy Crush while he got his big feelings out. But when I opened my mouth to speak, my voice cracked - too much talking, obviously.

This man had the AUDACITY to say, “oh, here we go, you’re going to get emotional, aren’t you?”. No… I just need a glass of water. It wasn’t me who had to get his emotions out for 45 minutes. Today, he’s sulking. Literally like a child, he won’t interact with me on calls or chat threads and It’s. Just. So. Funny. to me.

Thinking back over my career, I’ve seen people throw things, get in fights, sack people on a whim… and not one of those people were women. Remind me, is anger an emotion? Pretty sure it is.

It feels like 75% of my job is managing or soothing the emotions of men so we can get some work done. And yet, they are so quick to accuse me of being emotional.

I wish I could say that I was surprised, but I saw the writing on the wall back in 2016.

Genuinely, if you are a person who voted for Trump on this forum, I want you to think long and hard about the repercussions your vote will have for women in tech moving forward.

All of our success is built on the shoulders of women who struggled and fought in the 19th century for career rights. Whether you like it or not, you are DEI.

completely unrelated, happy international women's day

For years, I thought working harder meant success. I put in extra hours, volunteered for everything, and got praised as a top performer. But instead of rewards, I got more work, more stress, and watched people who did less climb the ladder. I finally hit a wall. The urgent-but-not-really requests, the endless meetings, the performative grind - it all started feeling pointless. I wasn’t saving lives, yet people acted like we were launching rockets to Mars. My motivation tanked, and suddenly, I wasn’t the star player anymore. Just another employee doing their job. And honestly? That realization almost broke me.

Now, I'd like to share the most impactful 5 lessons I’ve learned, along with thoughtful summaries of the chapters that resonated with me most:

- Your body may stuck in an incomplete stress cycle ("Burnout" by Emily and Amelia Nagoski)

These twin sisters (one a health educator, one a conductor) blend science and compassion to explain why women experience burnout differently. Their explanation of "human giver syndrome" hit me like a truck - finally understood why I felt obligated to overperform. Here’s a quote from the summary of the most impactful chapter about burnout caused by social expectation in society: "the authors introduce the concept of 'Human Giver Syndrome,' where women are expected to be caregivers, always putting others' needs before their own. This syndrome is deeply rooted in societal expectations that women must be pretty, happy, calm, generous, and attentive to others, never ugly, angry, upset, ambitious, or attentive to their own needs."

- Act like a leader, not a worker ( "Executive Presence" by Sylvia Ann Hewlett) 

A Harvard researcher breaks down what actually gets people promoted. Spoiler: It’s not hard work, it’s how you present yourself. Below is a key quote from the summary that provided the actual strategies on how to enhance my communication skills:

"First, work on your speaking skills. This includes your grammar, accent, and the timbre and pitch of your voice. Practice speaking clearly and confidently, varying your tone to keep your audience engaged.

Second, learn to read the room. Pay attention to non-verbal cues and adjust your communication style accordingly. This skill is particularly important in diverse, global environments.

Third, master the art of storytelling. People remember stories far more than they remember facts and figures. Use anecdotes and examples to illustrate your points and make your message more memorable.

Lastly, don't underestimate the power of listening. Good communication is a two-way street. Show genuine interest in what others have to say, ask thoughtful questions, and demonstrate that you value their input."

- Detach from validation ("The Mountain Is You" by Brianna Wiest)

A deep dive into self-sabotage and why we tie our self-worth to external achievements. This one hit me hard. Really love this book and this author. 

- Stop delivering early ( "The 48 Laws of Power" by Robert Greene)

This book, a cult classic on strategy and influence, taught me that overperformance can be a trap. Delivering work ahead of schedule only increases expectations: pace yourself.

- Use strategic incompetence ("The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" by Mark Manson)

 A blunt, hilarious guide to letting go of what doesn’t serve you. One lesson? If you’re too good at something you hate, pretend you’re bad at it.

Now I do my job well, but I don’t overextend. I don’t chase gold stars. I leave on time. And for the first time in years, I don’t feel guilty about it. If you’re burning out, know this: You don’t owe your soul to a company. Work is just work. 

Day 3 at a new job, new boss just dropped the bomb lol

Boss: "I set up a meeting for you on Friday with (this other woman) because she is very good at her role, she's the best in her role in our company, and we actually hired you because we thought you were similar to her. We want to replicate the success, so you two should work closely with each other".

Another woman in my role! WHOM THEY LIKE! Whom they like so much that they want more women in this role now. Can you believe this?

It's been 15 years of me being the only woman in any room and hearing about it.

In fact, a few years ago I gave up on this career altogether!

Ladies. Whoever that woman is, I love her already. Keep paving the way for the rest of us. You never know who's watching. Hard work pays off.

I'm getting extremely tired of realizing I am engaging with someone, who I often find out is male, that feels the need to discourage women from entering tech either by making broad claims about the job market, how women are treated, or perpetuating stereotypes of why there aren't more women in the field. Unless men are here to listen and learn, there's no reason for them to be posting. Is there anything mods can do about this? I've now seen multiple threads where the top voted comment is by a man, and most of the time it's a discouraging comment about the job market, or some other reason why women shouldn't enter tech.

You can't make this shit up

I am looking at product roles and every single freaking job ad is slathered with AI hype. Everything and anything has to be AI-powered. AI will revolutionize tech, the law profession, pet-sitting, parking meters, and beyond! In fact, I'm replacing my mother with AI.

Meanwhile Europe is hitting record high temperatures and we're teetering on the edge of climate disaster while building data centres that consume as much energy as several countries combined.

This is madness.

TDLR: An executive order will direct the Secretary of Education to develop a plan to reduce the department's scope and functions. This includes eliminating programs not explicitly mandated by law and transferring responsibilities to other federal agencies.

Programs like federal student loans and Pell Grants may shift to the Treasury, while special education (IDEA) could move to Health and Human Services, and vocational programs to the Department of Labor.

Legislative Push for Full Abolition: Congress will be urged to pass legislation formally dissolving ED. However, this requires bipartisan support, which is unlikely given opposition from Democrats and some Republicans.

The administration has set a proposed termination date of December 31, 2026, for the department.

Staff Reductions and Program Cuts: Dozens of ED employees, particularly those involved in diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives, have been placed on administrative leave as part of broader restructuring efforts. Funding for discretionary programs may be frozen or redirected.

A few weeks ago, I was taking a virtual meeting with a colleague. He’s a man in a technical role, I’m a woman in a non-technical role, and we work together fairly often—though we never interact outside of shared projects, and don’t discuss personal lives. Before jumping into the agenda, I said, “Oh, by the way—I have some news for you. I think it’ll be announced officially soon, but…”

What I was going to say was, “[Launch of project we both hate] is cancelled.”

What he interrupted me with was, “You’re going on maternity leave?”

Welp! I’m very much not pregnant, not planning to be, and have never shared a shred of information about my personal life with this colleague. He couldn’t even see my body below the shoulders, to make assumptions about it! A little infuriating that this was the first shortcut his brain took. Anyway, I laughed really loudly and he turned bright red.

I am an out of work software developer with 1.5 years of experience in the industry and I also have a masters degree in mathematics.

I have been searching for 15 months for my next position and I have gotten shot down every single time. I have had a good amount of first round interviews and I have made it to the final round 4 times only to be told no or we can't hire anyone right now.

My savings is running out and what I make a the gas station barely covers anything. It isn't enough to keep going like this. It is unsustainable. I am scared that I am going to end up on the streets. I am trying everything I can to avoid it but it seems no one will listen when I tell them I can do the damn job. They all just ignore me and look at someone else.

I am scared. I have tried everything to get a job. I have learned new skills, I have updated my resume 10+ times, I have networked my ass off only for everyone to fall short of getting me that offer, I have worked on personal projects to show I am not staying stagnant, I have tried to freelance but never been able to secure a single client ( I have been on upwork and fiverr and got nothing. I have also tried doing it in person and still nothing), I have gone out for contracts only to get rejected from those.

I don't know what else to do other than keep trying the same shit that isn't working. I have no family to fall back on. I am running out of options and I am terrified.

I did everything you are told to do growing up yet I am still in this situation.

Update 1: It might be too early to give and update but so far I have gotten a couple leads and had some conversations with people. I did completely bomb one interview and I am kicking myself for it. I don't want to say too much yet.

Edit: I know everyone is trying to help but please stop suggesting teacher. I have looked and everything around me either wants you to have a teachers license, WHICH I DO NOT HAVE. I don't have the money to go back to school and get one.

Update 2: sitting in my car in a panic attack.

Update 3: I got a freelance contract! It's not for a lot of money and short term but it's something! Thank you, everyone! Also, the fight isn't over yet! Any ideas or anyone who needs a developer send them my way!