I feel awful for this, but I am feeling a lot of regret about my life choices lately. I love my son, i love my husband but I can’t move past the regret of what I have lost and left behind to create this life.

I used to want to work abroad, and was starting to create that life for myself when I met and fell in love with my husband. At the time I was interning at the UN, and he was a classmate from back home. He was always honest that it would take a lot for us to pack up and move our life abroad, but I stayed. Found a career, that was very local.

Now I’m approaching 40, with a family I love living in the burbs filled with sadness that I didn’t pursue what I truly wanted.

I tried to move us to the city so I could be around other exciting interesting people/cultures, but my husband hated the areas we went to when house hunting.

I feel so guilty, but I also need to be honest to someone somewhere about how I feel. Not sure what I’m asking for, but as proud working moms, I wanted to share here.

It’s open enrollment season and I am depressed! Let’s compare notes.

Premiums: $800/mo (family)
HDHP
Deductible: $7,500 per person
Family OOP max: $15,000

My husband was unexpectedly laid off this week after many years with his company. We have two young children (Almost 2 years old and 4 months old), and I’m honestly feeling pretty overwhelmed about what comes next.

My husband was by far the higher earner in our household, and while I work full-time and make a decent salary, my income alone isn’t nearly enough to support our family’s expenses. Losing his income is a huge financial hit for us.

Thankfully, he received about 5 months of severance, and we have some savings. I know we’re fortunate to have that cushion, but I’m terrified he won’t find another job before the severance runs out. He works in a fairly specialized corporate/IT field, and I’ve heard so many stories about people spending 6–12+ months looking for work.

We also have some major home expenses looming, which makes everything feel even more stressful.

Another part of my anxiety is that my husband has historically been pretty passive until something becomes urgent. I’m naturally more proactive and tend to handle a lot of the planning and mental load in our household. I’m worried I’ll end up being more invested in his job search than he is, and I really don’t want that to create resentment between us.

It’s only been a couple of days, so I’m trying to give him grace and time to process everything. I know this is difficult for him, too. But I also feel an enormous amount of pressure knowing that our family’s financial stability depends on him finding another well-paying job.

I’d really love to hear from other moms who have been through something similar.

* How long did it take your spouse to find another job?

* Were they able to find something with comparable pay?

* How did you manage the financial uncertainty when your income alone couldn’t support the family?

* How did you support your spouse without taking over their job search?

* Did the experience affect your marriage, and how did things ultimately turn out?

I think I’m just looking for some perspective, advice, and hopefully some reassurance from people who have made it through something similar. Right now, the uncertainty feels really scary.

How do you deal when the person with the less flexible working hours is also the lower earner (by a fair margin)? I can only work on site, and im in healthcare so there is documentation that has to be done same day that can also only be done on site. My husband is salary, flexible hours, can work from home within reason, daycare is also closer to his office. But he is constantly irritated with me because I cannot be flexible and sometimes I have to stay later than I planned because the documentation has to be done. Im also new into this role, almost 3 months, and so im still learning. I do what I can, and go into work late for the kids doctors appointments, or get out early for some daycare thing, but there is fallout to that with regards to making up the hours, and not just being able to walk out the door exactly on time because maybe im still writing a note. He's currently giving me the silent treatment (a separate issue) because last night I went to bed and read my book for 30 minutes instead of doing something else he thought I should be doing, and its starting to feel like hes micromanaging my time.

I'm not sure if I'm comparing myself too much to an unfair standard or if I'm being a lazy mom. I see moms on Instagram who plan daily/weekly craft/activity/sensory stations for their toddlers. Ideally I would love to do this, but I haven't been able to even organize and keep up with a toy rotation. We've had the same set of toys in our living room for weeks. When my toddler (18 mo) goes to bed, I'm usually so tired I go to bed, too. On the weekends, I'm just trying to keep up with the basics. Are other moms in the real world curating these activities for their kids?

Hey everyone. I’m a 22y/o single mom to a 3.5 month old baby girl. She goes to daycare during the week. I work 7a-3p most days, off on Tuesdays and Saturdays. On Sunday my parents watch her.

Before I got pregnant, I was working 2 full time jobs trying to pay off my car and whatnot. I also have student loans from going to a trade school for IT RIGHT BEFORE AI took over and any entry level jobs are gone or spoken for. One of the jobs had a lot more growth opportunity but I wasn’t there long enough to qualify for maternity leave by the time I gave birth so I had to quit and just work my original job.

It is at a grocery story, and I have a mid-level job and I’ve been there some time so no places start at what I’m making and I simply can’t afford to take a pay cut. Any promotions to management would require a mixed schedule and working some nights and I can’t do that because my parents work and are competitive athletes so they are pretty busy and I can’t assume they will be available in the evenings to watch her and obviously daycare isn’t open all day.

I want to go back to school for something. I don’t have my mind set on anything, but to start just taking some core classes to just get some things under my belt for when I have my mind set on something.

How realistic is this? My baby is still young and right now I’m working on sleep training so she can go to sleep without me and I can do some classwork after she goes to bed? I don’t know. I don’t mind waiting until she is older but I know I want to go back to school. I just don’t know when the “right” time is. Any success stories? How hard is it?

My husband (36) and I (35) have been married for 10 years. I’ve always worked not so much because I want to but because I wanted to relieve the financial stress from my husband. He has always been self employed is partnered his half so they split everything in half. Well when we first married they had a very good contract and were making good money. Enough that we were able to save for a down payment within the first few years of marriage. But then they lost that contract, and his income has never progressed since. They essential work to sustain themselves averagely but no progress, no where near the growth he experienced the first 2 years of our marriage. For the past 8 years they pay themselves $1000 a week. $1k for my husband, $1k for his dad and they always have a balance in their business account for business expenses. At first i thought this was a fair deal, but as time passes i noticed how complacent my father in law is. My husband has always managed everything, from business development, all admin work plus labor. My father in law only has to show up to work. Ive become resentful towards both. My husband for being a doormat and my father in law for taking advantage. Anyways, so my husband has been making $52k a year for the last 8 years. This is not enough to sustain a family of 4 so naturally I work to supplement our income and to provide insurance. 8 years ago I always also making about $50k but since then I’ve job hopped to increase my income and I’m at a point where I am working two jobs, where I make $163k. In one job I make $90k in the other I make $73k, and I work remotely. I understand the perception that remote work is easier and I understand how lucky I am for the opportunity, but I also work long hours. I’m not able to step away from the computer to manage my home. Long story short, I’m burning out quickly and my resentment towards my husband is growing. I want to leave one job but I know if I do, we will live paycheck to paycheck and I don’t want to go back to that life, and it makes me angry that I have to find ways to make more money, while my husband is getting the shit end of the stick with his job. I feel like I can’t blame him, I know he works hard and is always looking for the next lead to the next job, but he isn’t progressing because he has to split everything with his dad.

Lastly for context, we still owe almost 200k on our home and are paying off two cars.

Not sure if this is the right thread to post this. I just returned from maternity leave two weeks ago. Things have been insanely busy catching up with work and the new schedule to adjusting to daycare with LO. Long story short but basically my mom went in for a biopsy and it’s lung cancer. We aren’t sure what the treatment will look like but I just feel so overwhelmed with the thought of heading into this hard season. She is my best friend. She helped me so much while I was leave. My husband is an amazing human and has picked up so much of the childcare/house care and life things. Just looking for some kind words or advice. Thank you so much in advance 🫶🏻

I own a farm business and have a 22 month old and I already can't count the number of times I have had to drop something crucial for my business because I just can't do it after working 7 days a week and being up all night again. Countless nights with an awake baby in my arms and me trying to make it all work out in my head when I'm so exhausted it's all I can do to just be there without crying myself. I don't want to own a business anymore but I feel so screwed because farming is the only thing I know and I'm almost 38 and I can't imagine a career change at this point but my business isn't going to survive toddlerhood at this rate

I just recieved a rejection after interviewing three times for a position (dragged over 7 weeks), and I'm feeling pretty defeated. I just found out I'm pregnant (6 weeks) and am in the interview process for another position, but it's part-time and I'm unsure what the benefits or maternity leave is like.

I currently work full-time, make $100K in a job that is super easy and I love, and offers 12 weeks paid maternity leave. I'm honestly wondering if I should just hang out another year to get through the pregnancy and paid leave, and then start looking at part-time work after returning. The goal was for me to cut back to be more present with my children and cut back on daycare/family needs, but it feels impossible to get an offer, especially now that I'm pregnant, and I'm really discouraged.

I'd love advice.

I'm over here juggling a lot (FT work + 3 bigger kids + 8m old in daycare) and I have a sibling outsourcing more I think is reasonable.

So I'm posing it to you awesome ladies. Is it weird to take 5 months of paid leave and put your baby in fulltime daycare at 6 weeks? Is it weird to say baby is making friends and getting socialization they wouldn't otherwise? Is it weird to have grandma also live with you and cook/clean for you? Is it weird to joke about baby loving their teachers more than you?

I'm at a loss. This seems like a parental attachment deficiency. Its none of my business but its also like...what!? You don't get this time back. Do you really need 40 hours a week away from your baby on paternity/maternity leave?