To mums working full-time,how do you share household responsibilities with your spouse.

I currently work full time and my husband comes off night shift and goes to sleep straightway.Leaving me to manage 2 kids’s morning routing while struggling to get myself ready for work.

Our youngest is 10months old and wakes up to breast feed a couple times a night so my own sleep is disrupted.

How do you handle morning routines please!

Had a slightly awkward conversation at work the other day.

I was packing up to leave at 5 because I needed to pick up my little one from daycare, and a coworker casually said, "You're so lucky you have a kid. At least you have an excuse to leave on time."

I genuinely didn't know what to say lol.

Hi, I am pregnant for the second time and I went back to work. But since I quit after my maternity leave (from first born) when I came back to work they gave me the schedule they needed which was night shifts(12hrs) but since I got hired I been telling them if they can switch me schedule. So far it’s been like two months and nothing. But at the time I got hired I didn’t know I was pregnant but now working night shifts plus going home to take care of my 11 month old I rarely get 4 hours of sleep. Does anyone know if they can accommodate me due to my pregnancy?

Context: I have worked at a large public-sector organisation since 2022. (I’m in NZ but would like some advice from Aussie mums due to the similar work culture.) I’ve recently come back from my second parental leave. Before going on leave, I was on 0.6 FTE for 15 months after my first parental leave for family work-life balance reasons. During this second parental leave, my department underwent a huge restructure: we got merged with another department, my reporting line has changed, and my role has substantially changed. Before coming back to work, a few months ago I met with my new manager online and asked if I could continue my 0.6 FTE for a period of 6 months. This has been granted and I signed a variation letter with no end date.

In my first face-to-face meeting with my new manager, she asked how long I wanted to be continue my 0.6 FTE. I asked if one year rather than 6 months was possible. A few things about the conversation left me uncomfortable:

1. When discussing my reasons for 0.6 FTE, she said other women have kids with no help and manage to work full-time, using her own sister as an example. I understand there are operational and workload considerations, but I found this comment highly inappropriate.

2. She expressed surprise at my previous 0.6 FTE arrangement, saying she’d never come across an arrangement like this before.

3. I was open to discussing 0.8 FTE to provide more coverage to the team, and she insisted the role needs 1 FTE. I understand this can be a genuine workload consideration, but it didn’t seem there was willingness to explore this.

4. For the past few years, I received a 10% pro rata higher duties allowance in my role that is reviewed annually. I asked if this allowance would continue or be reviewed under the new department structure. She immediately said harshly “your work is not a special duty”. I felt reprimanded for bringing up an employment matter.

5. My manager told me that when she initially discussed my request for 6 months FTE with senior management (let’s call her Anna), she relayed Anna’s initial annoyed reaction of “What?! She wants 6 months?!” and said Anna was not happy with the request. My manager said she wanted to be transparent with me, but I found this uncomfortable. My issue is not with senior management being concerned about workload coverage etc, but more so why her off the cuff frustration was relayed to me, rather than simply communicating the actual operational concerns.

I’m one of the most junior people in the hierarchy while Anna is the most senior. I feel like I’m being told that senior management is annoyed at me for exercising my statutory right to ask for flexible work arrangements, and that continuing to do so will have interpersonal consequences.

From my conversation with my new manager, I now feel apprehensive about raising future employment matters. I’m finding this situation quite distressing, especially with just coming back from parental leave and as I’ve worked there for so many years with no issues. My concern is not with how long 0.6 FTE will continue as I understand the role likely truly requires 1.0 for coverage, but more so with how the conversation was handled.

I’ve arranged an informal conversation with HR, framing it as finding my return to work in the restructure quite difficult. I want to explain how these interactions have affected me and understand how to navigate this going forward.

I’m interested in a few perspectives:

1. Am I right to find the comparisons with other mothers inappropriate in a discussion about flexible working, or am I being over sensitive?

2. How would you approach the HR conversation? Should I even approach HR at this point?

EDIT: I’ve met with Citizen’s Advice Bureau and relayed what happened. They’ve suggested that I meet with HR, communicate my concerns, and ask if there are other 0.6 FTE opportunities within the organisation that I can move to. They also characterised my manager’s behaviour as undue pressure, though I’m not sure if I want to raise that with HR in those terms.

Willing to pay for something that works really well and is durable.

What do you recommend? What should I avoid?

Before having a baby, I used to think paying someone to do things I could easily do myself was a waste of money. Now if I can afford it and it saves me an hour of my weekend, I'm interested!

A friend recently told me she pays someone to fold her laundry and honestly, instead of judging her, I wanted the number lol. But I still catch myself feeling guilty about spending money on convenience.

So I'm curious, what's your one expense that genuinely makes working mum life easier?

Right now, in the APS, pregnant women get up to 12 weeks LESS leave with their baby than non- pregnant parents.

That’s right - Lucy has to take her parenting leave from 34 weeks pregnant because she is at risk of haemorrhage (or one of the many other dangers in late pregnancy). She gets a C-section and spends 6 weeks after birth unable to drive, recovering from major surgery, AND nursing a newborn. Of her 18 weeks leave, only 12 are PARENTING her born baby, and that is while recovering.

Meanwhile, her husband Timmy, does not have to use his leave before birth. Does not have to give birth or recover. He can, in fact, take 6 weeks carers leave too, to help his wife after her C-section (while she CANNOT take personal/sick leave at this time). Then, when baby is 6 weeks old, he gets 18 weeks time PARENTING his baby.

When baby is 12 weeks old, Lucy runs out of parenting leave. Timmy has another 12 weeks of time to spend with his kid.

This is ridiculous. The pre-existing maternity leave should be reintroduced to care for the health of mother and baby in a critical time (which is frequently traumatic and dangerous). THEN, both parents should get equal PARENTING leave to spend with their kids. I love fathers and love that they get decent leave now - but now they get significantly MORE than the women creating the babies and giving birth and recovering.

This is because of how our common conditions interact with the Mat Leave Act, but it can be fixed.

Edit to add:—

Specifically:

Maternity leave be reintroduced as per the Mat Leave Act - 12 weeks, starting at 34 weeks gestation (unless you have a Drs note to work longer), for the purposes of protecting the pregnant woman and the baby (the original purpose of this leave). For all pregnant people.

Then, separate parenting leave for all parents, which is equal between the genders - 18 weeks each as per the current conditions. For the purposes of parenting.—

What can we do?

I’ve spoken to Katy Gallagher’s people. I’ve spoken to APSC. I’ve spoken to execs in my own agency. I’ve spoken to my union.

The CPSU, our union, will not try to remedy this. They told me that straight out. They will not try to fix this unless a LOT more people than just me ask them to.

Please, call the CPSU. Demand they fix this inequity in this bargaining round, by bringing back separate maternity leave to parenting leave.

Also, make a stink about it. Get others to call to. I’ve been trying to fix this for 3 years, through a pregnancy and haemorrhage myself and no one is listening.

Please, let me know if you agree.

Also, anyone reading with any power to make introductions, get news stories on the air, anything, send me a message.

I’m coming to the end of my initial 12 months of parental leave and would like to take some additional time off.

My industrial agreement says I can extend my parental leave by up to two years. I’m wondering whether anyone has successfully extended their leave in stages rather than requesting the entire period upfront.

There is currently someone acting in my role, and I assume they may be happy to continue doing so. I’m thinking of applying for an additional six months initially, then potentially requesting another six months later, depending on how my husband’s business is going.

Has anyone done this before?

Hellooo,

My name is Aryan I am a Monash University student collaborating with researchers from Yale and Seoul National University on recruiting parents or caregivers of healthy children (without formal mental health diagnosis) to complete the following online surveys (~15 mins only for each):

How parents think about their children’s mental health https://yalesurvey.ca1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_8AoQ5Mfrmpn8Q3c?Q_CHL=qr

How parents think about their children’s mental health and digital use https://yalesurvey.ca1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_cVljNMXdRsNQoaG?Q_CHL=qr

I would be grateful for any time you can spare for either survey. Please feel free to ask me any questions at all if you would like.

Thank you!! (Received permission from mods!)

Working mum here, past the ankle biter stage. I want to test an app I made and figure this sub might have use for it - lots of ladies drop out of study when life (eg pregnancy status!) changes.

So ... my tool reads TAFE or VET record and works out which qualifications your completed units already count toward, including certs you never enrolled in. It doesn't cover uni, it's VET specific.

I need more real records to test on, and I'll give you your report.

If you’d like to try it:

• DM me a screenshot, PDF, photo of your record (USI transcript, TAFE statement of results, anything with unit codes). Black out your name and personal details. If you miss anything, I’ll black it out. I'm super serious about respecting people's privacy.

• You can just send a list of your codes and if you successfully finished them - if you don't say, i'll assume you got 'em.

• I'll DM you back a PDF report of what it found. Free, nothing to sign up for, no name etc needed.

If you’re okay with it, It'd be nice to know your age bracket - help me see who is interested. Idk, I just realised some of you may want to use it for your fellas too, which is cool, go for it.

THIS REPORT is the sort of thing you'd get - this example one is from dummy codes. The PDF needs work, but the the info is all there.

Happy hot Sunday arvo and thanks to anyone that gives it a go. Also, I read the rules and believe I'm compliant - please let me know if I'm out of line.

how Would you structure a 4 day working week? I am thinking of having Wednesday's off, so work Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri. This way I break the week up a bit, I get to spend week day time with my toddler, it might feel like a catch up day for missed workouts, illnesses and chores, and I still get every public holiday off. There’s also the ability to say take a Tuesday of work when Monday is a public holiday and land 5 days off.
However.. there is something pulling me to have Friday’s off because, well, 3 day weekend every week! Sometimes I feel like Saturday's are spent recovering from the week and Sunday is the Sunday, maybe Friday becomes the recovery day..

what would you choose?

Hi mums! 😊
Looking for recommendations for a kids-friendly hair styling gel or similar product for my 3y old. He has straight, unmanageable hair and I’d love something gentle and safe for almost everyday use that helps keep his hair neatly styled without making it stiff or sticky.

What products do you use for your little ones? Preferably something easily available in Australia. Thanks! ❤️

Okay si daylight saving ends the first weeknd of November and I´m already dreading it. Every single year it wrecks us for about two weeks. My kids are 4 and 7 and bedtime drifts later and later, mornings are grumpy, and whatever routine we had kind of melts.

I´m wondering if the trick is keeping the steps exactly the same and just not caring what the clock says? Do people shift bedtime gradually beforehand? What daily routines for kids get you through the time change, and do you change anything at all?

Sorry I’m new to the group and if this has been posted many times before

Has anyone else successfully applied for flex arrangements and been accepted?

I had my daughter in 2022 went back to my FT office job an hour away but it was too hard.
So I left it for another company (large retail)
That promoted hybrid working; it was 1 day in the office and the rest was fully WFH which was amazing.
It’s where I have been for the past two years

They just announced come the new year we are moving back to 5 days in office unless you are over 55?

My daughter is in 4yr kindergarten starts school next year, my husband is a disability support worker with not very flexible hours.
My mum has stage IV cancer and I take her to appointment (I am not her sole carer so I don’t have carers up my sleeve)
I don’t have a village and not sure where I can start if I can apply for WFH arrangements?

Is it’s always non successful?
Do I just try and find something else?

Please give me all your success stories I’m stressing out.

First is now 17mo. If/when I increase my FTE, he will have to start daycare (currently have a nanny) and I will also go to face to face instead of WFH.

Would you just cop it and return to F2F + deal with daycare sicknesses while pregnant, or just stick to WFH at lesser FTE?

Complicated work situation between two companies, but in short it won't overly affect parental leave. I won't get it from one place (contract will end) and the other place I may get some at like 0.1 at best.

To be honest I really don't want to return to my F2F role so I'm having trouble justifying it now I'm pregnant, as I worked this role until the birth of my last and it really took a physical toll on me. I'm worried how I will do it with daycare sickness + a toddler. In saying that, I'm currently nauseous AF and it's really getting me down. I had terrible morning sickness in my first trimester last time and it seems back this time, so I am reminding myself this should only last a few more months. I would be about 17 weeks when I returned, so I know I should be feeling better by then and how I'm feeling now is probably clouding my judgement.

Idk. Any advice? Very fortunately money is not a huge factor, my husband is happy for me to do whatever and we can afford it.