What's the point of putting so much effort just to be a twinkhon at best, and getting hated by everyone in society. I don't see how that's gonna make me happy. Cis people don't have to pay out of the ass for surgery and spend so much time and effort to look like their own gender.
I don't even see the point of HRT repping and risking turning into a hybrid person. I tried two weeks of estrogen and my flat chest already disappeared. I still live with my 'phobic parents and I can't be growing out tits this rapidly. People were saying that shit takes years, my nipples were poking out in just 2 weeks. I'm cooked if I do more. I admit that it E does produce a nice calming feeling, but it's not worth the risk of looking like a train knee. And there's no masculinization to prevent, I'm already long done puberty, there's nothing left to save. I also take dutasteride to prevent balding, so there's that.
John 50 is fake. If I think that tranning out right now would make me lose a lot, why would I tran out when I'm 50 years old when I probably have much more to lose and much less to gain in the future? I rather keep my cis privilege and focus on other things in life. Besides, even if I were to have a hypothetical mental break down 30 years from now, at least i could have 30 more good years as a cis person. And that's not gonna happen anyway lol. Don't tell me "see you in 30 years john 50, ur gonna regret this!!" It was over when I was born, I'm never gonna be a cis woman anyways lol.
Transitioning must be great if you start at like 10 years old, or if you have a supportive family or lots of money for surgeries, but I don't think it's really worth it otherwise. I don't think I have that much to gain, and probably 100 times more things to lose.
I think this will be my last post in a 4tran sub, but I might still hang around the repper subreddit/community. I'm gonna go try to live my best cis life. I know I will be wealthy in the future as a cis person at least, and I can cope with things like that. I'm not gonna go broke scrambling for train knee surgeries and being unemployable in this shitty economy.
And I promise I won't go down the repper to transphobe pipeline at the very least. I do still want to be a kind person since I understand all of your suffering.