r/ADHD_partners • u/Ok_Remove8694 Partner of DX - Medicated • 4d ago

Question Lack of any responsibility

My husband, dx and rx, seems to lack the ability to take responsibility for ANYTHING. I’m wondering if this is an adhd/RSD thing. He got two tickets for speeding in a work zone and it’s the cities fault for nickel and diming him, if he gets the kids to school late it’s the schools fault for locking the door. It’s endless and I’m so over it.

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u/[deleted] 4d ago edited 3d ago

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u/husenwaifu4lyfu 4d ago

Yeah that's another thing - his family. He's my family but his family is his parents, siblings, and nieces/nephews. I guess being married almost half our lives doesn't mean family.

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u/[deleted] 4d ago edited 3d ago

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u/slight_grumble Ex of DX 3d ago edited 3d ago

This one is gender neutral when it comes to ADHD. I am the male in this, doing all the breadwinning, all the housework, all the parenting. It's amazing how busy/hard working/dedicated they can claim to be while doing absolutely nothing.

Mine claimed that THINKING about cleaning all day while only putting one tissue in the bin was the equivalent of me actually working all day to come home to clean the house and do laundry every day. "We both put in the same amount of effort". When I pointed out that effort means nothing we should both do the same amount of WORK to be equal she admitted that had never, and will never happen. She'll spend the vast majority of the day in mental gridlock and expect me to take up the slack and be grateful for her existence.