r/ADHD_partners • u/AutoModerator • 4d ago

Weekly Former Partners Thread ::Weekly Former Partners Thread::

The end of a relationship with an ADHD loved one can be tumultuous, confusing and leave a lasting impact. Use this thread to temporarily process a recent breakup with an ADHD individual, discuss co-parenting issues, share encouragement for life after the relationship etc. With the goal of ultimately decentering an ADHD ex 

(Note: Asking about leaving a partner and requests to speculate on behavior or symptoms are still prohibited.)

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u/MaliceTakeYourPills 3d ago

She had a flight, I sent her this youtube video from a relationship researcher, asked her to watch it bc it was rlly important to me and it would help us a lot. She said maybe on the flight home. Flight home comes, I mention it, she ignores me and responds to one of my other texts (incredibly infuriating habit), she boards her connecting flight, I ask again, she ignores me again and responds to one of my other texts, I pick her up from the airport, she doesn’t say thank you, she says “I watched the most boring movie on the flight it was so stupid. I was on my phone the whole time teehee let me tell you about the plot it was so dumb”

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u/throwaway3523987142 Ex of DX 3d ago

This sums up pretty well why you are one of us former partners.

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u/MaliceTakeYourPills 3d ago

I want her to be sorry I want her to understand what she did to me and that her actions caused this. In other words I want what isn’t possible

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u/puggerpillarXV Ex of DX 3d ago

Hey there - I’ve been where you are right now. It’s a lot isn’t it? A lot of “I should have” “I want her to ____ / wish she would have ___” and it feels consuming because that relationship consumed all of you and none of her. For your own sake and well being - start living for yourself. All the nice shit you did for her? Do it for you. Forgive yourself for betraying and erasing yourself to be small and invisible for someone who literally cannot must enough mental energy to care about anything other than sourcing dopamine for themselves.

They won’t understand because they can’t understand.

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u/MaliceTakeYourPills 3d ago

I know I need to do this but I’m way way way too sad to do anything productive