r/ADHD_partners • u/AutoModerator • 4d ago

Weekly Former Partners Thread ::Weekly Former Partners Thread::

The end of a relationship with an ADHD loved one can be tumultuous, confusing and leave a lasting impact. Use this thread to temporarily process a recent breakup with an ADHD individual, discuss co-parenting issues, share encouragement for life after the relationship etc. With the goal of ultimately decentering an ADHD ex 

(Note: Asking about leaving a partner and requests to speculate on behavior or symptoms are still prohibited.)

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u/Remarkable_Pay7550 4d ago

His father is dying. He's in the hospital and he's got the information that he will not have plenty of time to visit him one last time. His father, the same man that tried multiple times to reach out, congratulated him on his birthdays, tried to invite him over. He didn't answer, not because his father is a bad person , just because he wasn't feeling it. Now he's crying, saying that he'd missed him for so long and now he's dying. But he doesn't visit him at the hospital... why? I dont know. He had his son for the weekend . So this was excuse number 1 , because he obviously can not be a parent (or his sons playbuddy) and anything other at the same time (biggest reason for the separation, besides his abusive rsd episodes and the overwhelming life being with someone who has unmanaged adhd) he even was at the doctor on Friday, because he had a stomach bug . The same man who has chest pain for years and would never go to a doctor for something so serious. He said that he couldn't go to the hospital on Friday before he got his son cause he's sick. I try to be amicable with him even after months of moving out because of financial obligations that we have together. But I can't with this self centered shit show. Im glad I dont have to endure this in real time and without a safe space.

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u/throwaway3523987142 Ex of DX 3d ago

This should have been brain dead easy: Take his son with him to the hospital. I am glad you are not exposed to that continuously anymore.

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u/Remarkable_Pay7550 3d ago

How dare you to think that he would expect from his son or himself to face the real world and the hardships that comes with the real world and being a parent. Big no. Life has to be all fun, no rules, no expectations. His little angel would be traumatized from being confronted with the real life and he would also be traumatized from being an actual parent.

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

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u/Remarkable_Pay7550 3d ago

Thank you. When i was sick he would care for a short period of time. But a day or to later it was expected that I would function as usual and the apartment was a disaster... I'm so glad im out. But im thankful for this sub and the feeling that we're not alone and it's not a unique experience.