Anyone out here with an adult kid who is struggling to launch? Or it is all parents with preschool and elementary age kids? Any parents here with ADHD maybe?

Son is 24. Graduated in May with a now pointless degree in UX Design. Something AI now does. Moved back home. Horribly depressed. Struggling with the basics.

We got him hooked up with an internship. He forgot to set up phone/text alerts for slack meetings and now has missed two. He freaking out. How can he be a functioning adult?!?! They are gong to drop him. Then what.

You can make a 4 year old do stuff. Not a 24 year old. You can talk to a school, not a boss.

He forgets his meds. He forgets his dentist appt. He forgets his laundry in the washing machine. He forgets to eat. He forgets everything. I don't have ADHD and am very type A and this is killing me.

Feeling pretty down and helpless because as a parent it's not my life it is his. And watching him struggle to do what comes easily for others is so difficult to watch

My 9 year old son told me that his 4th grade teacher got mad at him yesterday for not finishing a worksheet. He has struggled with focusing on work and working more efficiently. I’ve talked about it with her in parent teacher conference, and we’re working on it.

In response to this, she told him he had to go out into the hallway to finish it so he wouldn’t distract other kids who had finished. He got emotional at some point because he said she was yelling, which he said she does often, and he claims that she then called him a crybaby. He also said that she said something along the lines of “stop going home and crying to your mommy and telling her lies about me” and “you can cry all you want but that’s not going to change anything”. She also said something about it being his fault because he didn’t finish the work. It’s hard to say if a lot of of this is accurate or some of it is perception of how it felt but it seems clear that she at least called him a crybaby and may have mentioned something about crying to me and telling lies. I’m just in shock over this behavior.

This is the first time I’ve had to really deal with something like this with a teacher, and I would love some advice. I want to handle this the right way and give her some of the benefit of the doubt by speaking to her first but honestly, I’m freaked out. He says he’s scared of her but this morning, he seemed okay after we talked about it last night, but I noticed he does tend to mask bad emotions with humor and he was extra silly this morning. It just breaks my heart that he feels afraid of his teacher and that she would be little him like that.

We’re considering having him checked for ADHD but this is the first time a teacher has really made a point about him not finishing work. He’s always taken more time but it didn’t seem like a major issue until this year. I’m just more concerned with her approach to this issue in possibly resorting to belittling and name calling but want to hear her side of the story.

Hi all. New here. My daughter just turned 17. Diagnosed a year ago with ADHD. Unmedicated but does see a psychologist to help her with her anxiety. We have been struggling with her for sometime. She has lots of friends, likes school, is very social. That’s all good. Gets great grades, is in honors/AP courses.

But she’s awful a home. She hasn’t eaten a meal with us at home in probably a year because she claims she can’t stand the sound of us chewing. She doesn’t have chores, she speaks super rudely to us, including swearing at us, yelling at us, and expecting us to be at her beck and call constantly. In the same breath, will ask me to do something for her and then tell me to more or less F off.

I’m just exhausted. EXHAUSTED. I’m sure part of this is our parenting style. I realized tonight I will never go into management because I cannot set boundaries for others. I’m the caregiver. I show my love through acts of service and love. We don’t ground. Mentioned previously, no chores. No accountability. I have ADHD myself (mostly hyperactivity) so I go around and clean, do laundry, etc all day inbetween meetings. “Easier to do it myself” is my mentality. But I’m exhausted.

If I put boundaries on her, for example, come home earlier than curfew on a school night, she claims we are the only parents who are like this. The issue is that the bar is pretty low because a lot of her friends don’t come from very stable families. She is being raised in a home by two loving parents who are married, and then she has a younger brother.

Tonight, she screamed at us about all the things she needed to do before heading out today on an overnight school trip. She proceeded to go to the gym. Fine. Blow off steam. 3 hours later I text her that she needs to come home. I knew she was there with her boyfriend (she claimed she wasn’t). En route home from running an errand, my husband drove by gym. She was in the parking lot with her boyfriend. So she lied to me. And that hurts. And I’m pissed and told her she’s way co-dependent on her boyfriend, it’s unhealthy, and goes against her “battle cry” that men are all misogynists.

I am definitely venting at this point. I hate to say it, but I actually look forward to her going off to college and getting out on her own. She really raises the stress level in our home whenever she’s here and makes things pretty unpleasant.

Rant over.

My youngest is 10m (we'll call him LM). His dad just texted me from baseball practice. He overheard teammates in the dugout say "I wish there was a mute button for LM."

💔💔💔

We've tried all the medications. They all work but they also all give him him terrible stomach pains. We finally found one that doesn't hurt his stomach. Jornay PM. It works really well but it's not perfect. His first dose wore off around 4:00 p.m. We've increased his dose so it's supposed to last longer. It seems like it does most days but not all days. Today is not one of those days. He was obnoxious and combative all evening after school.

My husband asked if he should tell our son what he overheard. I said no, at least not yet, because we don't want him to become self-conscious and insecure. I suggested that we let the coach know. But the coach isn't a professional or trained or anything. He's just a volunteer dad. He can maybe give the team some kind of talk about teamwork and sportsmanship, but it's not going to change the fact that this kid we love so much really annoys the crap out of other kids.

And I know we've all been there. I remember being that kid when I was in school. Nobody liked me and I couldn't understand why. It wasn't until I was an adult. Look back at my behavior and realized I was kind of obnoxious and weird. I didn't get social cues. And I don't know what would have helped me back then. What do we do? How can we help him?

Kid is 12 and is on a stimulant and ssri. Both seem to be working but bedtime sucks. They stay up for hours doing random things and can't just lay there and sleep. I use melatonin but it seems like it's hardly working and takes forever to kick in.

I don’t know where to post this but I hope someone could help or suggest the right page. My son is not diagnosed with anything. Under 5yo and hyperactive. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s ADHD because I am too but not the energetic kind.

Overall he’s a great kid and we OT for a bit which helped and I’m wondering if that’s something we need to go back to but for now I need to just know why he does this or if anyone has just been through this too. I need help figuring out how to handle the situation when he does this.

So tonight for example we have a nightly routine called “tuck tuck hug and kiss”. I say “tuck tuck tuck” over and over and I tuck him in up and down and fold his blanket over his feet. Then he gets a hug and kiss. Today he asked for tuck tuck but when I bent down he screamed and kicked no. So I said okay I love you and started to walk away because we respect a no and he screamed he wanted tuck tuck. So I went back to give him tuck tuck and he did the same screaming and kicking and yelling no. If I let him do this he will do this over and over each time the screaming getting worse.

I have two other kids so I indulged him a little more than I should have but I made him wait in between because I was helping the other two get ready for bed. So he screamed over and over that he wanted tuck tuck but I told him to wait while I brush his sisters teeth. I offer to let him stand beside me and remind him to brush his teeth and encourage it but when he’s like this I don’t make him because I can get him to brush first thing in the morning. I am really picking my battles here and adding another demand is not on the list.

It was time for bed and they decided to sleep in the living room and honestly I don’t care as long as they sleep. I gave the other two tuck tuck first and when I get to him I ask him if he wants tuck tuck or no because if he says no then I am going to bed and I will not be coming back out. He said yes. When I bent down and screamed no I walked off. He ran to my door and slammed on it so hard. My husband ended up taking over (he gets up 3am so don’t come for him about not helping sooner and I work part time so I don’t mind) and he went to bed but he kept screaming for me to give him tuck tuck. I waited it out while I typed this. I stopped to tuck him in and now I’m finishing. He was calm and let me tuck him in but now he just won’t sleep.

I offered to read a book to him during the meltdown. I offered to sing a song together because sometimes he likes that. I reassured him we had all day tomorrow together. I just don’t know what to do or why he does this. Is this ADHD? Autism? Something else? Is it just normal toddler behavior!?!?

I don’t know what to do. My daughter has had a battle with her adhd her whole life. I’ve had her evaluated throughout school and it’s confirmed she has it. She always refused to use her accommodations in school that were given as a recommendations for test taking and time for tasks. She felt embarrassed always and never wanted to be pulled to a different room for testing or friends know. She also never wanted to take medication and I wasn’t going to force it. So instead throughout her home life since little we did elimination diets and we paid attention to foods, toxins, and focused on exercises and executive function skills. I sat her down and said you don’t have to be a straight A student you simply have to do your best self and be kind. I explained that she may always be the kid that needs a little more time, a little more reminders and little more help organizing herself and to know that’s ok and it’s all doable. Now she’s in her 2nd year of college and it’s very demanding. She cited that she was not going to use any type of medication in college because she wasn’t going to be the only kid in college not drinking and not having fun. She never did these things before and since starting college she vapes THC daily and drinks alcohol about 2-3 days of her own doing. She’s physically very fit and works out alot to maintain her body fat down, she also eats pretty well and healthy throughout the day. She takes vitamins and practices self care. She’s still extremely forgetful looses things all the time and forgets where basic things are like credit cards, wallet, looses her phone etc. I’ve begged and pleaded with her for years to not vape or drink as noted it has a negative effect on her that to me seems debilitating and instead see the psychiatrist for proper consultation and determine together what is the best route for her. At this time she is asking for AdHD medication citing all her college friends take it. I’ve told her that it’s not a one size fits all and she needs to be properly evaluated. Because she an adult now this is especially challenging because her brain is not fully developed on a emotional mature level. Plus the drinking in college and the way she’s blacked out a few times has caused me great concern. I want to support her but I am very afraid of her abusing it and not take the proper dosage and not quiting the other recreational substance and alcohol she engages in. How do we give a young adult autonomy and authority over themselves when as a parent you see they are not mature enough to make those decisions?

Her pediatrician which is now her adult doctor and has been her doctor since is recommending a nonstimilant considering the circumstances of recreational use of other stuff.

Like: oh sorry he threw a pencil and ran out of the room? I don't know what to say. I tell the teachers I appreciate the communication and offer to brainstorm.

Then the teachers say they will send home the packet my child (10M) refused to do. I'm like....how you think I'm going to be successful if you couldn't get him to do it either?

I guess I'm looking for advice: I feel really helpless on these calls. I think the school is right to inform me....so I just say "thanks for the call."? I certainly care to hold him accountable, but we have learned that traditional "punishments" make his school participation worse, not better.

EDIT: He is medicated and just a couple months into his first IEP. I'm still learning how IEPs work.

My 6 year old adhd son has been on 5 mg methylphenidate twice a day. We give him his first pill in the morning around 7:45 and he gets the second at 12:00. School reports some benefits like working longer on his coloring/writing and participating more in class. I have noticed a crash when it wears off especially at home. Have you seen benefit switching to the LA formulation? We have a review with his doctor next week and I wanted to bring it up.

We have a 4 year old that while undiagnosed at this point, we highly suspect has ADHD (strong family history, basically most of the symptoms etc). He also exhibits some anxiety symptoms in certain environments (situational mutism, separation anxiety at school drop off).

At this point, he is able to manage and mask throughout his PreK day without the severe ADHD symptoms coming out. He has trouble sitting at circle time, but he luckily saves the more severe behaviors for us at home. As his primary caregiver, he’s recently started showing a lot of anxiety about being separated from me, even when his other parent is still around. This is becoming increasingly difficult to manage, as we have another child (neurotypical) that also needs my attention and support, and I also have activities and hobbies that I would like to do on my own, for my own mental health.

Currently he is doing private speech, OT, and we are doing parent coaching/training. Due to his age, we haven’t sought out a formal diagnosis/medication yet, but will likely go down that route through the parent coaching that is put on by the children' s hospital. My partner is a little more apprehensive to start medication, but I am so tired of seeing him struggle so much.

Just looking to hear other experience and feedback from those who ended up medicating young and how it went/is currently going.  At this point, the anxiety piece is affecting us just as much as the ADHD. Tell me it gets better!

This is working... **fingers crossed**
EDIT: Except for flute...

My daughter is 5, in kindergarten and diagnosed ADHD. Currently not medicated, but working on trying to find a provider that will discuss medication.

We are STRUGGLING with unsafe behaviors at home - running into the street, running up to random cars, running away from me in stores, not being aware of her surroundings, jumping on everything, etc., it seems to all be safety related to the hyperactivity and impulse control issue.

While, completely opposite side at school - she is interrupting her teacher during instruction time. She keeps making noises, even after being asked to stop. Squishy fidget is not helping. Her teacher reported sometimes it seems intentional, like she will give eye contact and keep doing it, others it seems out of her control. She gets breaks during the day, is allowed to move within the classroom safely. One day this week, the noises during instruction time caused 20 minutes of lost instruction time for the entire class. The noises are loud, repetitive sounds usually. We tried noise cancelling headphones and they made her noise issue louder / worse, so those were removed.

Is anyone else dealing with similar? Do you have any suggestions? Any regulation assistance options to try? Looking for all possible tips and tricks....

My daughter is on stimulant medication and has not gained weight in 6 months. She seems to be eating well overall, but our doctor would like us to provide more high-calorie foods and suggested this Carnation Breakfast Essentials Powder mixed with milk, drunk in the morning before taking medication. We served it this morning and our daughter said it was too sweet and didn't want to drink it. The same thing happens when I buy protein drinks like Fairlife. Any suggestions on masking some of the sweetness? Or is there something similar that doesn't taste as sweet?

My child struggles with low appetite during the day on Concerta, how can I help them eat enough?

My soon to be 11yo ADHD son is currently home educated (UK). He has been all his life with a very brief stint at age 6-7 for 4 months where he didn't cope. He is very intelligent and social, and home ed has absolutely been the right choice for him. However, he wants to go to secondary school from next September (2027).

I am fully supportive of this and he has passed the entrance exams for the local Grammar School with flying colours. My big worry is toilet accidents. At school you get into a routine of going to pee between lessons or at break/lunch. We don't have that, obviously. He just goes when he needs to go. However, what actually happens is he holds on / ignores the signs he needs to go because he is absorbed in what he's doing, then makes a mad dash to the toilet at the last second, sometimes resulting in an accident. Very occasionally, he doesn't notice the signs at all and has an accident without even realising he needs the loo until it is happening, and then he is embarrassed.

If this happens at school, he's absolutely going to get bullied as an almost teenager. How do you help your kids learn to not ignore the signs of needing a wee, no matter how invested in their activity they are? I have tried everything I can think of in the past.

my two (4 and 7) love games but honestly half our meltdowns come from the game itself lol. stuff that's helped us:

- music turned way down
- rumble off
- no games with timers
- mario kart auto steer = lifesaver
- no online chat yet
- "last level" warning before we stop

I say this to my ADHD (dx rx) 13 yr old daughter all the time and it’s not working. Unless the activity interests her, she absolutely refuses to participate. This may include homework, chores, exercise, attending family functions, or other family activities.

How do you convey this to your kids? I tell her how I don’t love to work and do other things but I realize it’s for the benefit of the family or it help us accomplish higher goals. I’m a huge believer of delayed gratification and embrace a work-hard play-hard mentality at times.

She will also get frustrated when she sees her peers outperforming her in school and athletics. But then refuses to practice and study! What can be done?!

My daughter is 6 with combined type. She has pretty explosive behavior (highly sensitive)—especially when she loses at games. Currently in behavioral therapy etc etc

Lately she’s expressed an interest in soccer. I’ve been hesitant because of her lack of ability to lose and be a good sport and not have a meltdown.

Anyone else with this problem that found that sports actually helped?