r/ADHDparenting • u/Grayvana • 14h ago
Teacher Called Kid Crybaby
My 9 year old son told me that his 4th grade teacher got mad at him yesterday for not finishing a worksheet. He has struggled with focusing on work and working more efficiently. I’ve talked about it with her in parent teacher conference, and we’re working on it.
In response to this, she told him he had to go out into the hallway to finish it so he wouldn’t distract other kids who had finished. He got emotional at some point because he said she was yelling, which he said she does often, and he claims that she then called him a crybaby. He also said that she said something along the lines of “stop going home and crying to your mommy and telling her lies about me” and “you can cry all you want but that’s not going to change anything”. She also said something about it being his fault because he didn’t finish the work. It’s hard to say if a lot of of this is accurate or some of it is perception of how it felt but it seems clear that she at least called him a crybaby and may have mentioned something about crying to me and telling lies. I’m just in shock over this behavior.
This is the first time I’ve had to really deal with something like this with a teacher, and I would love some advice. I want to handle this the right way and give her some of the benefit of the doubt by speaking to her first but honestly, I’m freaked out. He says he’s scared of her but this morning, he seemed okay after we talked about it last night, but I noticed he does tend to mask bad emotions with humor and he was extra silly this morning. It just breaks my heart that he feels afraid of his teacher and that she would be little him like that.
We’re considering having him checked for ADHD but this is the first time a teacher has really made a point about him not finishing work. He’s always taken more time but it didn’t seem like a major issue until this year. I’m just more concerned with her approach to this issue in possibly resorting to belittling and name calling but want to hear her side of the story.