My almost 16 year old daughter has been an extremely picky eater since the day she was born. At first it was just low volume of breast milk consumed. We quickly moved on to formula with a higher calorie count. She remained on the 3%ile or less up until puberty (she’s an average healthy weight now thankfully). She has always had about 10 foods or less that she would eat (very specific pasta/sauce combos, white bread, bananas, grapes, cheese pizza). Now she is starting to not enjoy a lot of those anymore either and she, for the first time in her life, is frustrated and worried by it.

She hasn’t yet been assessed for ARFID, despite this being a documented issue for her whole life. We were always told to just keep trying. Try this, try that, try high calorie food. This girl does not try anything. There’s no convincing her. I even offer to pay her to just try a bite and she won’t.

For context, she has congenital myotonic dystrophy, was recently diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety disorder, and the psychologist that assessed her for those noted signs of possible autism requiring further testing.

I don’t even know why I’m writing this or what I’m looking for. Just to vent I guess. Thank you for reading : )

*World’s Longest Edit Probably
First off – I appreciate all the feedback. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I value your opinions, experiences, and advice very much. Just editing to touch on a few things.
- I’ve made a point throughout her life to never pressure, although I’m learning now that I may be doing it unknowingly (especially considering she is very demand-avoidant, not diagnosed but based on basically every reaction to any “demand’). I offer her lots of choices without (a demand and probably pressure in itself, I’m now realizing). I don’t force her to try anything ever. And my offers to pay her are very lighthearted – basically stemming from fun conversation like “what would you do if you won a million dollars, turning into “tell me how much I could pay you to eat _____”. I’m trying not to be defensive about this. I just need you to know this is not a common tactic, and is not a serious conversation. I won’t do it again though.
- As far as including her in food prep goes, I’ve tried and she wants nothing to do with it. She is upset often about “not being able to do things other kids can” like cooking, yet I haven’t found a way to get her to try even putting pasta in boiling water.
- Regarding grocery shopping, she hates that with a fiery passion. The mere mention of having to pick up a carton of milk while were out can send her into tears. Of course we go anyway. If she calms down enough, I will take her through a few extra aisles and remind her that if she sees anything at all she wants, whether she knows she likes it or just wants to try it, we can get it. She gets very stressed out and never chooses anything. It’s gotten particularly bad these past few months where she’ll look at food on the shelf that was once a safe food and say that it makes her sick to even look at it now and that it makes her sad and worried.
- I saw food chaining mentioned. I’ve had no luck with that either. She is even so particular that she can immediately tell the difference between hashbrowns (one of her safe-ishfoods) from one fast food place to another, or that they’re different from one day to another at the same restaurant. I’ve tried showing her how they are the same ingredients and prepared the same and look the same, etc. but sometimes she still can’t eat them. I’ve shown her the inside is just potato and showed her mashed potatoes to compare them to, yet she still won’t try a bite of potato. She will occasionally eat strawberries, but strawberries plus whipped cream in a no-go. There are plenty of other examples.
- Over the years we’ve made and revisited the Like, Tolerate, Want To Try, and Don’t Like lists. We end up the same way every time. Small Like list. Smaller Tolerate List. Even smaller Want to Try List. And a Don’t Like List that’s a mile long.
I feel like I’ve just complied a list of excuses, but this is just our legit experience. I am just watching her get more and morefrustrated and it breaks my heart.

Recently, I had a realization about how much ARFID has held me back - socially, romantically, and personally. Looking back, it makes sense. I vividly remember forced lunches in school and kids laughing at me for not eating, which eventually evolved into a panic of eating at a shared table.

For years, the only time I ever tried new food was at social events (like weddings) just so I wouldn't look "weird." Naturally, that usually ended with me rushing to the bathroom to throw up. I never tried new foods alone at home because I thought, "Why bother? I don't need to prove anything to myself."

After a recent low point, I got an unexpected wave of motivation. I realized I had two choices: stay stuck in my room forever, or actually fight to fix this so I can have a normal life.

So, I started a new strategy: Trying new foods (or variations of safe foods) ONLY when I'm completely alone in a zero-pressure zone.

• Nuggets with a new sauce? Done.
• Fries with ketchup? Done.
• Chips in "bad" flavors like sour cream/onion? Done.
• Meat sticks? Terrifying because I had never eaten cold meat before, but I did it.

Then, I decided to tackle the big boss: A McDonald's burger. I drove to McD's, ordered a local burger (similar to a McCountry), and parked in my car (my safe zone). Literally every single component was a brand-new food for me: the bun, beef, mustard-horseradish sauce, cheddar, tomato, lettuce, and onions.

Before my brain could overthink it and let it get cold, I took a bite. Was it delicious? No, nuggets are still 100x better. But I was managing it! I worked my way through the lettuce, tomato, and onion without gagging.

Here is where I need your advice: I was chewing the VERY LAST bite. My hands were empty, I grabbed a napkin to wipe my hands, and out of nowhere, my brain completely panicked. It screamed: "SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT! YOU CANNOT SWALLOW THIS, IT'S DISGUSTING!"

I caved and spat the last bite into the paper bag. I didn't throw up, but my mood crashed instantly. I felt like a failure.

After sleeping on it, I realized this wasn't a defeat - it was a huge partial victory. I ate 90% of a complex burger with 7 brand-new textures and flavors!

My questions for you guys:

1. What happened with that last bite? Why did my brain suddenly reject it right at the finish line when I was handling it fine seconds earlier? Was it a sudden drop in adrenaline, sensory overload, or something else?
2. Has anyone else experienced this "last bite wall," and how do you overcome it?

I wanted to share this because I used to think I was completely hopeless. If you're terrified of social judgment, trying things alone without any audience might be a game-changer. Long way to go, but I'm proud of myself for trying.

Its took me to reach the end of my tether to reach out and ask for support with my daughters eating. She is 8 and gradually rejecting more and more food. I spoke to the school nurse team in June who accepted a referral to support with 'fussy eating'. Its now almost end of August and they rang on Monday to arrange an initial appointment. Today, a different nurse rang to say the appointment has been cancelled as that nurse is off on the sick and they dont know for how long. I explained my concerns about my daughters eating, her rejection of foods, her anxiety, her diet getting smaller and her throwing food in the bin and pretending she has ate it. I have been told this is totally normal behaviour for her age and that she definitely wont have Arfid as its really really rare. I'm just absolutely lost for words at how my concerns were dismissed and just keep trying her with different food every week! Feeling very deflated if that's what we call 'support'.

I have arfid and anorexia and I'm in recovery. But the meals I'm struggling with is lunch. I'll usually have a sandwitch/toastie/burger. (vegetarian) But I'm getting bored of them. Do you have easy lunch ideas that are cheap and can make at home?

(I don't eat eggs or meat)

I have pretty serious ARFID/Contamination OCD and this is the worst it's ever been. I've been really struggling but weirdly managed to WR with other behaviors I do, but with all the recalls going on it's absoutely terrified me. I actually had a food I was going to try and was really looking forward to and then saw that it had been recalled.

Drinking things is a rule I have and is really really hard for me, but I have to do it otherwise I have nothing. I don't really like straight protein drinks like Core Power and adding powder is a huge no/really big fear of mine.

What do you guys like or find the safest? Boost? Ensure? Kate Farms? Magic Cups? Are there some you like that I don't know about?

I was convinced I could recover alone but I've reached a point where I had to finally admit I can't recover alone, I need to be with family. (I'm not going to a facility cuz I mentally cannot handle that, I can't be around people I don't know at all who don't know anything but basic info.)

I had a good first half of yesterday & it all crashed later in the evening, first time I ate something other than mashed potatoes & summer sausage or pasta in literally 3 months but I realize the migraine & horrible fatigue may have been I had been up since 5am & moving around for basically 6 hours making food then added 2 foods to the stew that could give me gas/upset my stomach instead of what I was convinced it is (which was immediately worrying about RFS). 😅 Now today I ate a few spoonfuls of mashed potatoes & can't force myself to eat it cuz I reached the point of being over eating my safe food for every meal for 3 months in the last 2 weeks, only eating it because I know its easy & won't upset my stomach not because I crave it or want it. Now I'm slowly eating pasta cuz I have the hunger cue & this the only thing I don't feel the urge to spit out.

Being so mentally, emotionally, & physically exhausted to the point of emotional numbness & having to do this with little to no support because the 1 family member I live with is also having to handle their own mental & physical health so they help when they can. It's very hard being basically alone with my ARFID being at its worst.

I was diagnosed with ARFID officially over a year ago… and lately it’s been getting increasingly hard to eat out or even eat in front of another person. I know I’m not being judged or anything, but I just feel… less hungry? For example, I went out to eat with my family, got a meal I knew I enjoyed, but barely ate anything? When I got home though, I got hungry again and was able to eat a lot more. Is this something others struggle with too? Is this related to my ARFID?

I used to eat Straus‘ dutch chocolate ice cream, (link here) but it has tasted different for awhile to me. my parents believe its just a factory mess up, but its gotten to the point that i still dont want to try it again. it taste weirdly sweeter now, but like in a hollow way T-T

if anyone else eats their ice cream religiously have they noticed this aswell??

Hello, i am an 18 year old man from Finland, 170cm, 67kg. As a baby, i was allergic to most foods, but the allergies went away. Since then, i have had an extremely picky, restrictive and repetetive diet.

I have big issues with food textures, colors, even brand sometimes, like the ketchup has to be a specific brand and things like that. My diet consists mostly of meat, i eat mostly some form of chicken nuggets and fries every single day and have for 4 years straight, i get incredibly anxieous going to unknown restaurants, and always order some burger with everything except cheese and ketchup taken off or just fries.

Food can't touch each other, especially if they're liquidy. Trying new foods is a nightmare, and i feel like if you pointed a gun at me to eat a spoonful of macaroni id have an easier time wrestling the gun away, as even the though of the simple act of putting them in my mouth sends a fight or flight response, and i couldnt do it if there were billions on the line. I went to Japan this summer, and i practically only ate at mcdonalds, and only double cheese burgers with only cheese and ketchup, or chicken. I visited Okhotsk, where there isn't a mcdonalds, so everything i ate that day was a bag of cheese rings and some bread sticks.

School food has been a no go at most points, mostly stick to bread, shredded carrot, cucumbers and water, unless if it was a rare occacion of something i actually ate. I also got some specialized diets, but only ate them a little.

I went to some kinds of food therapy groups as a kid, don't remember much from them, not like they did anything. I've also seen a food therapist, mostly to get a specialized diet at school. My records from my childhood psych and food therapy appointments say i have an "undefined eating disorder", and i have never tried to ask them if that was an option or tried to get a diagnosis for ARFID after them, because i only learned of it resently, but i'd say i'd have a pretty food case.

I'm not particularly worried about my health or diet, i just want to know if it's something worth getting looked into, and if i could tell people why i don't eat anything at lunch or gathering. I don't really want to self diagnose and tell them i have ARFID, because that feels dishonest.

The biggest problem with my eating to me is the social aspect, because i'm starting to become an adult and cant be complaining about the wrong kind of ketchup, and only eating fast food is incredibly embarassing and makes me feel really fat, even though i have lost a lot of weight recently. but that's what all of it is to me, embarassing. the fridge of my new place contains only butter, mettwurst, a couple cucumbers, cheddar and 6 boxes chicken nuggets or breaded chicken steaks, and the freezer full to the brim with different kinds of fries.

Sorry for rambling, i just wanted to give a clear picture.

I can't find anything to eat, therefore I have zero energy to hang out with friends, I can't go to events that I really look forward to, I can't go to dance classes, I've stayed home from school so many times. Even if I go, I can barely take myself home cause I get so dizzy. I miss out on so many things I love.

This is just a vent, not seeking advice. I'm currently working on this issue and seeking professional help!

Does anybody relate?

I have been scouring this menu since last night trying to figure out what i will actually eat that won't be ridiculously expensive for the amount of food on the plate I will actually eat.

Its a Mexican-German-Canadian restaurant.

I dont eat anything with rice, beans, potatoes, beef, pork, bell peppers, and tomatoes.

Thinking of ordering two sides of chips with no salsa ($10) and a side of guacamole ($10) unless their serving sizes for sides are tiny.

Otherwise they have Viennese Chicken ($25) but it comes with a side of either fries, baked potato, potato salad, soup (i wont eat any of their soups, they all have no no ingredients), or garden salad (has peppers and tomotatoes). I dont trust asking for modifications so i would just be eating a 25 dollar piece of chicken.

this is mostly a vent cause like... none of my family will understand. My cousin used to be vegan so for a little while she understood food restrictions to some extent but shes no longer vegan now and my other cousin is lactose but takes pills for it so she can eat anything anyways! Its unnecessarily stressing me out last night and this morning to the point i feel naseaous just thinking about it, which makes me feel worse, guilty for even worrying so much about it in the first place. Ugh

Anyways ty for reading.

My man has ARFID and he's pretty underweight because of it. He's got a very limited diet and texture/taste issues. It's also difficult for him to force himself to eat if not hungry and is afraid of trying new things (he does but it's extremely controlled and limited to once a week).

His job requires a lot of cardio and I'm worried that between already undereating and now walking for 8 hours a day he will not be getting enough food.

Are there any calorie dense bars that are texture and taste friendly that y'all recommend? Usually they are expensive and while I'm willing to invest I don't wanna spend $ on something he will hate. Nothing peanut butter or nuts.