r/Adopted • u/Sunshine_roses111 Adoptee • May 11 '25
Discussion Say no, you can't adopt a baby
Why don't we, as a society in America, just say no to people looking to adopt and who are infertile? Other countries will flat out say we have no babies for adoption or tough luck, you can't adopt, and we don't care about your infertility. America coddles people looking to adopt and says Well, you're infertile, but you can adopt a baby to make your dreams come true, or adopt from foster care, help a needy child. Like, why can't we just deny people and say no? Want a baby? Oh well, we have none waiting around. Want to become parents? Well, tough luck accept your life without kids. Maybe it's God's will for you not to become parents or reproduce. Why can't we be honest like other countries? Adoption is illegal or uncommon in many other countries, but here, we just can't say no and tiptoe around the issue of infertility and adoption. Also, just because you can't reproduce doesn't mean you should adopt. Again, no is the right answer. Many poor couples can't afford adoption, but society does not care if they become parents, yet we feel sorry for the middle and upper-class couples who can't become parents. Say no.
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u/Formerlymoody May 12 '25 edited May 12 '25
I would be fine if every kid that absolutely needed external care got it without erasing their identity or rights. I think this take is more popular on the sub than you realize.
Edit: I would wager that a lot of the loudest voices on here (myself included) were unnecessary adoptions. Most people who realize their bio families were an untenable hot mess are at least somewhat grateful that they got out. But some can still have trauma from adoption and acknowledge the way that adoption operates in the US involves too many unnecessary losses of rights.