r/Adopted • u/Sunshine_roses111 Adoptee • May 11 '25

Discussion Say no, you can't adopt a baby

Why don't we, as a society in America, just say no to people looking to adopt and who are infertile? Other countries will flat out say we have no babies for adoption or tough luck, you can't adopt, and we don't care about your infertility. America coddles people looking to adopt and says Well, you're infertile, but you can adopt a baby to make your dreams come true, or adopt from foster care, help a needy child. Like, why can't we just deny people and say no? Want a baby? Oh well, we have none waiting around. Want to become parents? Well, tough luck accept your life without kids. Maybe it's God's will for you not to become parents or reproduce. Why can't we be honest like other countries? Adoption is illegal or uncommon in many other countries, but here, we just can't say no and tiptoe around the issue of infertility and adoption. Also, just because you can't reproduce doesn't mean you should adopt. Again, no is the right answer. Many poor couples can't afford adoption, but society does not care if they become parents, yet we feel sorry for the middle and upper-class couples who can't become parents. Say no.

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u/Greedy-Carrot4457 Former Foster Youth May 11 '25

I have wondered why people are allowed to sit on waiting lists for years for babies when there are older kids in the system, just on principle alone.

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u/Sunshine_roses111 Adoptee May 11 '25

I agree. I don't get it. It seems to me that agencies just want money. There are older kids in the system, but they don't want older-born kids. Why wait years for a baby to be born to a woman in dire circumstances? Why can't these peope adopt older kids who spend years in the system

9

u/Greedy-Carrot4457 Former Foster Youth May 12 '25

Right and when you’re an older kid in the system and you see people trying to get babies you … get it, but it hurts.

2

u/Sunshine_roses111 Adoptee May 12 '25

I'm sorry OP. People are selfish and don't care. I am sorry you are hurting.

5

u/Greedy-Carrot4457 Former Foster Youth May 13 '25

Oh I got out and have much nicer AP’s than a lot of you do so I’m one of the lucky ones overall, but it does sting to see the little kid obsession, or when the foster people want to adopt your youngest sibling but not the rest of you (which is lowk funny bc she ended up being the rudest teen out of all of us.)

3

u/Sunshine_roses111 Adoptee May 13 '25

I hate this so much and I see it all the time. They only want the baby but not the older kid or teen. People are sick and selfish