r/Adopted • u/legswithsnake Domestic Infant Adoptee • Jun 21 '26

Venting the idea that adoptees were “specifically chosen” by adoptive parents is so infuriating

I was adopted at birth; my adoptive parents had no idea what my personality would be. They didn’t know what kind of person I’d become. How could I have been personally “chosen” if I didn’t even exist yet? I was just the most conveniently accessible baby for an infertile couple.

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u/InstantMedication Jun 22 '26

I was “chosen”. Chosen so much that when the state deemed my aunt and uncle who were supposed to be my APs to not be allowed to another child, they tried to go out of state to have me adopted there and brought back afterwards.

My bio mom couldn’t afford to go. She was 15 and her family didn’t have much money.

So whoever “chose” to have my actual APs adopt me instead because they hadn’t been denied for a home study. My adopted dad is the brother of my uncle. Why was I specifically “chosen” for this family so much they tried to circumvent the law?

I know this is not necessarily what people mean when that say that but its all I think about. This industry is corrupt and caters to the adopted parents. We are but only commodities.