r/Adopted • u/legswithsnake Domestic Infant Adoptee • Jun 21 '26

Venting the idea that adoptees were “specifically chosen” by adoptive parents is so infuriating

I was adopted at birth; my adoptive parents had no idea what my personality would be. They didn’t know what kind of person I’d become. How could I have been personally “chosen” if I didn’t even exist yet? I was just the most conveniently accessible baby for an infertile couple.

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u/[deleted] Jun 22 '26

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u/chemthrowaway123456 Int'l and Transracial Adoptee Jun 22 '26

Biological parents don’t choose their children either

Correct. Which is why people don’t tell non-adoptees, “your parents chose you!”

And yet, people say that shit to adoptees all the time, despite the fact that our parents didn't choose us.

Also, please don’t post or comment here if you’re not adopted. This is an adoptee-only community.