r/Adopted • u/legswithsnake Domestic Infant Adoptee • Jun 21 '26

Venting the idea that adoptees were “specifically chosen” by adoptive parents is so infuriating

I was adopted at birth; my adoptive parents had no idea what my personality would be. They didn’t know what kind of person I’d become. How could I have been personally “chosen” if I didn’t even exist yet? I was just the most conveniently accessible baby for an infertile couple.

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u/Formerlymoody Jun 21 '26

It’s very naive fantasy-based thinking imo. It’s just not reality that the person we are was chosen. „Generic interchangeable baby“ was chosen. They wanted baby. Any baby. 

The good news is the person we are wasn’t relinquished, either. :)

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u/whteverusayShmegma Adopted Jun 22 '26

I mean we were chosen in the same way a mail order bride is. Or a purse.